Go for it? and the psychology of THR

[kangaroo]

Hi Folks,
Here I am 42 years old, not in tremendous pain, but somewhat restricted due to "sf24@^%$6e!!!!" hip syndrome (read that as dislocated right hip at birth, perthes disease at 2, reconstruction at 16, birth of 5 children (all naturally I might add!) etc etc) So the question is, given that a hip replacement will become inevitable, should I wait until loads of pain etc....or should I jump in soon and thus be able to keep up with the kids, ride bikes, and live a more active life. I've a terrible limp and I do have restrictions (especially maritally) but when it comes to pain I cope, a few ibuprofen here and there and I never pick up the kids stuff, and I avoid anything I know will cause a flair up. My chiropractor friend reckons I have huge coping measures. To be honest I'm a bit over the restrictions, but given that I'm relatively young I need to consider my older age as well, I'd like to skip on revisions if possible!....I'm hoping for 40 years! I'm also worried about what if....? and I end up worse (painwise particularly) than I've started.

My OS is keen on an anterior approach because he doesn't want to slice through my poor old "butt" muscles (technical name for them? ) as they've already had quite a few surgeries and I have fairly pathetic muscle tone and muscles that don't even know they exist....Range of motion is pathetic, and the joint is stiff and i tend to guard myself a lot....I hate uneven terrain, hills etc.

So, what is the thought process of all you hippies.....any other kangaroos (Aussies) out there? Jump in whilst the pain is definately there, yet manageable? or wait in the hope of a few more years of longevity in older age?

I'm interested in your opinion.
I'm also curious about the psychological aspect of hip replacement. This probably sounds weird, but part of my identity is connected to my hip and its patheticness. We get attention, its a source of conversation (which I limit as it becomes rather dull for everyone after a while)So what happens when that is no longer the case because it functions like everyone elses, more or less. ?Does a hip replacement mean that in some sort of bizarre way you lose who you are? or maybe you just start to discover it?! Now anybody who is normally hipped would think I'm mad (maybe I am) but I am sure that this exists. I must add that this wouldn't stop me from having a hip replacement, and I really like the idea of being able get out in the world and get on with life, and living. I'm tired of being 42 going on 70, both physically and in the mind! This sounds like mid life crisis!

Perhaps some of you have a thought on any or all of this...Happy hopping Mack

 

[Josephine]

Welcome to BoneSmart, kangaroo!

Reckon you haven't read around the older threads much because if I had a fiver for every time someone's asked that question on here (and in the knee section) I'd be a wealthy woman!

So tell me, having cut back on about 40% of the things that make your life worthwhile, just how much more disabled do you want to be before you get that hip fixed? No-one knows what's around the corner. Anything could happen. So you wait another 5 or 10 years - you'll never get those years back.

As for the longevity of the prostheses, official line is 10-15 years, professionals know it to be 15-20. Stastics show it to be approaching 25 and maybe even more. There are many. many people walking around now, living good, productive and happy lives who had their hips done in the 60s and 70s! There is a news report at the head of this forum, a lady, still living, had hers done in 1966! 40 years life span for a hip replacement!!

I know of many with your history who have had their THRs at aged 19/20 and never regretted it. Anterior approaches are good - that's what I would plump for if I ever had to have it done. (Butt muscles are called the gluteal muscles, btw!)

Many will now bowl in and tell you the simple fact about joint replacement - and what is the primary objective of the procedure - is to give you back your life, to give you back your vitality and to give you back you! You don't discover that so much as REdiscover it!

In my personal and professional opinion, you've already waited far too long. Your life has contracted enough. Get it done ASAP!

However, do read the post How to choose a surgeon and a prosthesis make a note of the questions and then interview some surgeons and make sure you get a good one. I know you'll now say 'Oh but Mr X is well respected in our area' or 'I asked around and those that had Mr X do their hip were full of praise'. Such recommendations are good but they're not everything. ALL surgeons are 'well respected' and have 'fans'. It comes with the job. It means squat if he botches up your hip and then you find others with problems popping out of the woodwork. Read that post.

 

[Jamie]

Welcome to the forum, Mack! I'm from the knee side, but I can certainly say from my perspective I'd go for the replacement now so you can enjoy THIS stage of your life instead of waiting for some future time that is worthy of enjoyment. But you need to be comfortable with your decision....it's YOUR life and hip, after all.

You raise an interesting point that I don't believe I've seen anyone confess before.....the fact that when you have a chronic problem it is actually a big part of who you are in the world. I did not have that situation (my knee deterioriated within a few months after an arthroscopic surgery). But what you say makes sense and it would add a definite layer of scariness to having the replacement. But maybe you can look at it this way....you will have the delicious opportunity to remake yourself and your life however you want to. If you are in less pain, you'll do more and be more actively involved with your friends and family. As you are more active, you'll have new and different things to talk about. And it is quite likely that your new positive outlook will be quite a source of joy for those who know and love you....much more so than them knowing you are in pain and trying to talk about the "ouchies."

The key comment you made is that you're tired of "being 42 going on 70" both physically and mentally. That tells me you've probably already made your decision to go ahead with the replacement so you can have a better life.

You'll hear from plenty of hippies here shortly, I'm sure. I wish you the best and hope you post often to let us know how things are going with you.

 

[Judles]

Welcome Kangaroo! Well, - guess I'm the 1st hippie to weigh in,,,,,For heavens sake,,,I don't understand why you'd want to identify with limping! With 5 kids, I don't imagine you have much time for yourself! You would be doing ALL of you a.wise. Thing by going for any corrective replacement!
There's so much living to do! Only when you are recuping & looking back, do you realize , not how much you can DO, but how much you MISSED by letting the pain dictate you!
Knew it was time for me, when my 2 year old grandson started immitating my walk by using his little baseball bat! NOT the way I want my family to think of me! I'm one that loves pushing my limits,,,,I think that's why I am making such a remarkable recovery! Yesterday marked 16 weeks that I had my RTHR,,,,, One of the BEST decisions I ever made! Good luck!

 

[Karen54]

Hi Kangaroo and welcome! I am 3 1/2 weeks out from RTHR and I already know that it was the best decision I ever made! My hip deterioration was also caused by hip dysplasia at birth, even though it was found and treated when I was 13 months old. Never thought a thing about it until several months ago when I started experiencing excruciating pain. Couldn't put the sock on, tie the shoe, get in the car without horrible pain. It was just finally diagnosed the end of October, and was already totally bone on bone, hence the pain. I think you have already lived with it much too long! You will be shocked at the difference you feel immediately after surgery. And Jamie said it very well about giving you a whole new outlook on life. Keep us posted on what you decide, and know that this forum is a huge support for you!

Karen

 

[JudyS]

Hi Kangaroo
I am 51 and had my hip replaced in June. In a few weeks you feel pretty darn good, I was swiming a mile and walking 1/2 mile each way to the pool at 4 or 5 weeks.
At 3 months I was back to my hiking trails and very happy. As far as being in worse shape after, it would be very very rare. It is a surgery that is very perfected with a great patient satisfaction rate.
Oh I have 4 kids . 3 living at home. I was very surprised that I needed a hip replacement. When my surgeon and i decided it was needed and I said go ahead, why wait, I tried to think of when it started bothering me. I had chronic low grade type of pain with range of motion restrictions for so long. I remeber saying with the delivery of the 4th child (I decided to get an epidural) that even after the epidural my hip still hurt. She is 14 .

Anyway it was a great decision. You need to do it now and enjoy your time now.
We are all here for you and have been in your position.
Judy

 

[aussie]

Hi and welcome Kangaroo,

I'm from both sides, hip replacement Nov'07 aged 48, knee replacement Nov '08 and I feel fantastic.

Don't waste any more time wondering, grab some quality of life back.

Chris

 

[kangaroo]

Psychology is interesting...maybe I'm just lazy......hips can be a good excuse for sitting back and letting someone else do...whatever it is that needs doing....excuses, excuses...that load of washing needs to go out. Do I defer it to the kids (or husband) because I have a stupid hip, or because Im guarding it and don't want to end up in pain, or is it because someone else will do it if I have stupid hip syndrome....This sounds incredibly lazy and I hate the fact that I am not Strong and able.....equally I hate the fact that I use it as an excuse! Sounds incredibly lazy and like I'm using the people around me and sitting around doing nothing. That's not the case but there is an element of that psychology.....curious, anybody got any thoughts? Mack

 

[aussie]

Yeah I can identify a little with what you are saying, but for me it was more I became so immobile, and could do so little that it became the norm, and before I knew it I was so far in a rut that I felt I would never get out of it.

Along with new joints seems to come a new energy and a WANT to do for yourself instead of sitting back, you are still so young and think what an example you would be for your kids to do things for yourself again, showing them how strong and able you are again.

I recently had to attend a sports carnival, prior to my operations, I would be dropped at the gate, my daughters would park the car and carry all the gear, esky, blankets, bags etc. I'd hobble my way to the grandstand where I would sit all day. Then they would carry all the gear again, go and get the car and pick me up at the gate. UNTIL NOW! Now I do my share, we park the car, I carry what I can and we walk to the stadium together, I feel like I am part of life again, and part of their lives again, not just someone that drags along and sits.

Don't let life pass you by, and there are heaps of better ways to get more attention and it will be positive attention.

Best wishes to you kangaroo.

Chris

PS, where in this great land of ours are you, just general location, I'm southern NSW.

 

[Peta]

Hi and welcome Kangaroo! (Another Aussie here - from Brisbane). My advice is the same as everyone else - why wait? I'm 49 and had a LTHR last October and put simply - I have my life back. You have no idea just how much you are NOT doing or missing out on - and probably won't until you have the op done. I realised afterwards just how narrow my world had become - simply because I did what I had to do to get through the day - and no more. Now, life is exciting again - and I look forward to getting up each day and starting a new one! And that's with only ONE hip replaced - I do have to have the other one done as well somewhere in the relatively near future.

As for the psychological issue - I can't really comment on that. My hip problems didn't start until approx 5 years ago - although prior to that I lived with a chronic illness since the age of 23 (which I still have) - but from my point of view, I hated having to relinquish my independence in so many ways - it's a good feeling to be able to pick something up off the floor without having to wait for someone else to do it for me!

In a nutshell? GO FOR IT!

Peta

 

[Josephine]

Psychology is interesting...maybe I'm just lazy......hips can be a good excuse for sitting back and letting someone else do...whatever it is that needs doing....excuses, excuses...that load of washing needs to go out. Do I defer it to the kids (or husband) because I have a stupid hip, or because Im guarding it and don't want to end up in pain, or is it because someone else will do it if I have stupid hip syndrome....This sounds incredibly lazy and I hate the fact that I am not Strong and able.....equally I hate the fact that I use it as an excuse! Sounds incredibly lazy and like I'm using the people around me and sitting around doing nothing. That's not the case but there is an element of that psychology.....curious, anybody got any thoughts? Mack

Well, you're obviously not a control freak then!

 

[kangaroo]

Hi Aussies,
I'm in Sydney....I guess I'm like "Aussie" ....let evryone else pick up the bags ....but I'd like to be strong and able and actually have no more excuses....you know the old saying "seize the day...." etc I actually want to be strong all over....and its the stupid hip that holds me back from exercise and riding (for those who know Sydney I'd ride from Strathfield (west) over our beautiful harbour bridge all the way to North Sydney ...that about 30 km....now I can't even raise my right leg high enough to peddle the pushbike....anyway thanks for the encouragement. I haven't yet come across somebody who says don't do it, or wait.....Mack

 

[Peta]

I haven't yet come across somebody who says don't do it, or wait.....Mack

That's because life is wonderful on the "after" side of hip replacement! You'll be cycling across that bridge before you know it! Good luck - let us know what you decide to do!

Peta

 

[kangaroo]

You guys are fabulous....I think Peta you must be about to have lunch we're in the same time zone and its nice to have someone out there who actually gets the hip issues and doesn't just dismiss the complexity of it. To be fair I probably over- analyse the whole thing...and to be honest my thought process wouldn't stop me from embracing a new mobility etc...I just have to make that phonecall to the OS . Enjoy your vegemite sandwich! Mack

 

[Judles]

One day, when nobody is home & something IMPORTANT needs to get done, and only YOU can do it, I think you will appreciate your independence!
That is the sign of a control freak, not the dictator that you yourself are admitting to!
Pain is exhausting,,,it saps our energy! It also makes us mean!
I bet under all the layers of anger is denial & fear! I bet you'll not only feel better if you go through the surgery,,but there may be a whole different nice person under there that may be waiting to come out!

 

[PRGal]

Mack--I'll add to the chorus: do it, do it, do it! Your OS wants to do anterior--awesome, lucky you! I had an anterior THR October 30. Walked without assistance by day 10, including stairs, back to work at 5 weeks. NO restrictions--I could bend, twist, squat, sleep on my side--whatever I was comfortable with!

Judging by your last post, sounds like you've already begun to realize that being whole & participating fully in your life is a great thing--and it is! And if you think you'll miss the "poor me" attention, don't fret. You'll get plenty of "You got a new hip WHEN? That's amazing!" attention when you're hopping on that bike!

 

[kangaroo]

I'll have to buy a new bike!!!that's exciting too.. The old one was ditched years ago!

 

[arla222]

Stop wasting these precious years of your life and have your hip replaced now! I am 60, and I had mine done in November. I can't begin to tell you how great it is now. I truly feel like a new person. It's so great to have my life fack again. Do do yourself a favor and get it done a.s.a.p.!

 

[Peta]

Enjoy your vegemite sandwich! Mack

LOL - vegemite and onion sandwich actually! Ever tried that one?? YUM!

You sound brighter already Mack - this forum is absolutely wonderful - isn't it? Just wish I had discovered it BEFORE have my hip replacement. But with one more to get done I plan on hanging out here for a while yet!
I hope all the positive re-inforcement has helped - post often and ask any and all questions you may have - no-one here seems to mind answering ANYTHING! Jo and Jamie are mines of invaluable information and have both helped me enormously. But I think also it's the constant support of EVERYONE on here that helps - even with the "little" things! Talk soon,

Peta

 

[aussie]

Hi Mack,

I don't think it's laziness on your part, the discomfort just wears us down., saps a lot of energy, the good news is after the HR you feel like you can do more, so you do. It's great to hear that your interest was cycling, you can get back to that, in fact it's one of the activities they say you can do after a hip replacement. I'm just waiting until my knee gets that bit stronger and I'm going to buy a bike. I tried riding my daughter's bike but it's adult size and my legs arn't so I'm going to try a 3/4 or something and see if that's better for me.

Don't worry I'm sure all of us Hippies get the complexity of hip issues and this is a good place to come. Having spent a long time crying through the transition between standing and sitting and visa versa, sometimes getting stuck halfway unable to move, for years, we all hear you and want to support you, so keep in touch.

Peta, vegemite and onion....... Hmmmm not sure I'm brave enough to try that one, but I'll let you know if I do.

Chris