Game on....no more excuses!

[kangaroo]

Well thats it folks,
The teeth are good (very minor repair, no needles just a jaw that kept audibly clunking...dentist was a bit surprised when he heard it!), so I guess my excuses for avoiding THR are finally coming to an end. (Stop cheering, you lot!) so the game is on...28th April is the beginning of my new life...my ability to physically embrace life, ride bikes, play tennis, etc starts in 4 weeks.....or there abouts.......
Game on..
Rachel

 

[Jamie]

Great news, Rachel.....in spite of what you think!! LOL

I know you'll be relieved to get past the surgery part and on to recovery! Keep yourself busy until S-Day.

 

[YoungM]

Congrats on the date Rachel! You will do great. Keep us posted!

 

[Karen54]

So glad to hear it, Rachel!

 

[TBONE]

Congratulations Rachel.
Tom

 

[HopAlong]

You got that right Rachel..... a new life it is!!! I just had my 2-week post-op checkup, and I feel better than I have felt in 5 years!!!

 

[HopAlong]

The clicking jaw.....that reminds me of when I was 6 and my grandmother used to have a loud clicking jaw, and used to eat black olives and crackers. I used to say "Grandma don't eat pits!"

 

[Peta]

Glad to hear the dentist visit went okay Rachel - now roll on 28th April!

BTW - your clicking jaw probably means TMJ problems - which explains your difficulty in staying open without pain. You might want to get that looked at down the track - certainly not before your THR though!

Peta

 

[kangaroo]

So, between now and April 28th I need to
*buy birthday presents for- 2 of my children, husband, my mother
*buy clothes for 1st communion for Gabby and suitable clothes for the rest of them
*organise winter school uniform
*Easter stuff
*go away for a holiday for a few days with the family...
*get the computer fixed...
*organise any aids etc that I'll need (what do I need?)
*sort out clothes for me (I imagine that the standard uniform of a mother (jeans) might not be easy to put on)-perhaps track pants would be better (Do I want Pjs or nighties at the hospital?)
*some "stuff" to do, thats NOT hip related, eg hand sewing, light reading etc
*sort out the childcare needs for my kids (the baby is sorted ....my Aunty will take him for 3 days a week, and then he already goes to care 2 days, and Stephen is home on weekends anyway...

There's probably more that I can't think of just now....and this is all on top of normal life...I'm not feeling swamped...I promise!....
I need to go and have a thr just so that I can have a holiday!
Rachel

 

[Jamie]

At least I won't be worried that you're spending time dwelling on the surgery.....you'll HAVE no spare time!!! Ack!! What a list!

 

[kangaroo]

My problem is the bill for all this stuff. Ordinarily all of this would be spread over 3 months but I need to do it before the surgery so that I am not stuck with doing it later...or worrying about having to get someone else to do it later....from another perspective it wouldn't hurt my husband to get in there and have to do it, and then he would get some perspective on the reality of shopping for kids!.Some stuff I'll put on layby so that we don't have to store it or pay for it to far in advance....
Rachel

 

[Jamie]

Sounds like a good plan, Rachel. Maybe you could make a list of a few things hubby could help out with. It might make him feel good to help you at this time when you are in need. Don't feel like you have to do everything yourself. This is an opportunity for hubby and the kids to learn....even if things aren't performed up to your normal level, the process is good for all of them!

Don't wear yourself out!!! You need to be well rested for the surgery, you know! And I'm still wondering what "light reading" you would HAVE to do before S-Day.....????

 

[kangaroo]

Light reading is for afterwards, in the recuperation period. I know I'll be too tired to concentrate on anything much....but equally after a week or two I probably will want something to flick through just to divert my mind from physio and the like...thats my theory ....Im not sure how well it will match up with reality...a few mags or whatever. I'll go nuts if i dont have something to occupy my mind beyond hips and free to air tv is pathetic!...we don't have (nor never intend to have) pay tv(cable)....a few good movies on dvd would be good...although I tend to fall asleep if I watch tv (or read ).I am concerned that if I sleep too much during the day I might struggle to sleep at night.
I wonder what an average day after THR hospital stay consists of. How much time is taken up with PT and sleep etc....

To be honest I think my husband is going to be totally swamped just coping with the kids, the washing (!!!!) and the homework etc...forget about music lessons, exams for the highschool kids, netball, soccer, dancing ......my greater concern is the second that HE thinks Im able to look after the baby he'll be back to work and I'll be on my own. I know that he has to work but it really worries me that I'll be left in the lurch, so to speak.
I tried to get him to give me his opinion on me having Thr now. He said that its my body, my decision. I was a bit annoyed because if in the off chance I end up with a nasty complication....hes the one who will have to support, nurse etc. This impacts on him too, its not just me...so I was somewhat peeved...has anyone else had this problem with spouses.? Once again if I was in loads of pain it would probably be different he'd say "do it" but because Im not he is staying out of the decision making process....you'd think he'd be interested in his sex life! after all part of the reason for this surgery is to improve this aspect of life!...amongst many others!
Rachel

 

[YoungM]

Hi Rachel,

You are absolutely correct that the surgery will impact your husband and he needs to be able to support you and your family. My mom took off work the first few days after my surgery to stay home with me. After the first few days, I've been very independent. My boyfriend comes over every day and other company as well. In the event of any complication, I think your husband will step up and know that he needs to be involved. If no complications, the recovery isn't too bad -especially once you get through week 1. You just need to be sure you are not breaking any of the precautions -bending forward is the toughest one for me -b/c you do need help getting the covers on or picking something up from the floor. However, all the devices definitely come in handy and help you to become independent -the reacher (I was able to open a low cabinet with the reacher and take out a salad bowl with the reacher -since I couldn't bend down that far). The sock device, leg lifter, long shoe horn also have come in handy.

I say talk to you husband about how important it is to you and get it done!

 

[stewartfan]

hi rachel...i am 35 and i have 3 teenage boys and a husband who acts like one lol, but when i had my surgery on 3-10-09 i could not have asked for my four guys to step up to the plate any better than they have. i was just like you....i had my list made out and i was so worried that my husband would would forget to pay a bill. but i think that you will see that when it comes down to it everything will fall into place. in fact everything went so well for me that we have scheduled my right hip to be done on 4-14-09 and i can't wait because there are so many things that i have always wanted to do that i am going to be busy for a long time doing them all...lol. so have the surgery and think of it as the best move you have ever made!!!!!!

 

[Jamie]

I think it is often difficult for husbands....they are out of their comfort zone with caregiving. It doesn't mean they won't do it when needed, I just think they don't like to talk about the "what ifs" in life. Rachel, I believe you will also be amazed at what your kids are capable of, if they are asked to help out also. It's good for them!

As for the sleeping....don't worry about getting too much during the day. Your body will be in full HEAL mode and you'll probably have no trouble sleeping. You may very well NEED the naps during the day as well as nighttime sleep. Your body will let you know....and then you just need to go with it. This is YOUR time to take care of yourself.

Until you're ready to assume full responsibilities, stay in pajamas as long as you can. Someone else recommended that and said it worked as a visual signal to your hubby and kids that you were still recovering. Hopefully it could work for you too.

 

[YoungM]

Yes, definitely stay in those pajamas! I have been showering and then putting on new pajamas each day -I haven't worn normal clothes yet. Maybe tomorrow I will splurge into the sweat pants

 

[Judles]

Rachel! I doubt very much that you'll
Ever be in "danger" of ever getting too
Much sleep! Bet you'll be delightfully sur-
Prised how your kids & hubby rally around
To help out! Before you go in hospital, why
Don't you make a "to do" list for the family
So they'll know beforehand how they can each
Help you! As you know, you can never
Have enough (prolonged!) help!

 

[hurtingbuthopeful]

PJ's are absolutely a must for as long as you can stand it. It does send a very clear message to everyone. I also agree with Jamie about how amazed you will be about how capable the kids can be. And hubby too. It's all basically instinctual and when they see how helpless you are in the very beginning, everyone will be more than willing to lend a helping hand. It's all about the love. So love yourself too, and let yourself be pampered.

 

[PRGal]

Rachel, I have one of those hubbies who "depends" on me to take care of most everything, but he was wonderful during the early days of my recovery!

The hardest part is going to be "letting go" (and probably lowering your standards a bit! It's funny now, but I remember gritting my teeth and hobbling out of the room because I couldn't stand to watch him vacuum and miss half the dog hair! Of course, if I'd said anything, he'd have thrown up his hands and we'd have been knee-deep in lab fur, so mum was the word!

As an admitted perfectionist & control freak, I know how hard it can be, but it'll be the best thing you can do for yourself . . . and a few dust balls or mismatched clothes never hurt anyone!