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Found My Monkey and it wasn't good.

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Doug

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I went looking for my monkey today..Found him at the beach with a duck of ill repute. Clearly, the duck has dragged my monkey down. She should have flown north two weeks ago.

[Bonesmart.org] Found My Monkey and it wasn't good.
 
Hey... That's a green and yellow Oregon Duck! We call 'em "Fighting Ducks" (U of O mascot). She must be on extended vacation after the Ducks flopped in the first round of the NCAAs....
You send her back home now--- ya hear?
 
I just love tuning in for the "Doug and Patti Show"! Brightens my day! Really love the guest commentators too... Bring 'em on!
 
It would appear that the monkey is the only one smiling in this deal. I mean, just look at that poor duck! Out like a light!!! Obviously the victim of a date drug. Doug, that certainly doesn't say much for your monkey's character! And, Doug....I hate to tell you this, but that is a MALE duck (females as we all know, don't have that flashy color). Need I say more? I hope by now you have gotten your monkey under control!
 
Nothing like BOY love to start the weekend off right!

A wise monkey is a monkey who never monkeys with another monkey's monkey.
 
O.K. since you asked.
I have another Dougie story.
I dropped my wife and son of at 6am this morning for them to go on a chorus field trip out of town.(Thank you Lord).
Went to work out.
Went grocery shopping. Picked the duck up for the dogs.
It was starting out as a beautiful day so I decided to get my camera and go to the beach. I wanted to do some distance walking in sand and play with the camera.
I went to beach called Mash's Sand. It is an isolated beach that apparently has a number of late night parties form the evidence left behind.
For a Florida beach it isn't so great because it is located in the bend of Fla. where three fresh water rivers run into it. The water is brown swamps the rivers flow through.
Parked the truck and reached back to get my camera. There was the monkey.
I went to the back of the truck to get a walking staff and yep there's the duck. A story was born.
I picked up the beer bottle and put it along with the duck and monkey into a backpack.
Nobody else was around when I left.
I walked a ways down the beach, took the picture and reloaded the stuff in the backpack.
As I walked back to my truck, I noticed another car had pulled up and two ladies were setting up to relax on the beach.
They were between me and my truck so I had to walk by them. They were both youngish (50ish). As I approach, they both started taking their clothes off. Now they had my attention and I held my stomach in.
One of them actually stepped towards me and started asking about why the water was brown and about the area. Turns out they were down from Delaware.
Since I was close to my truck, I reached back and took my pack off. We were standing there talking and I put the pack under my arm to reach for my keys.
As I lowered my arm to hold the pack in place, the damn duck quacked, the monkey growled, and the woman took a step back and I think re-accessed if she wanted to talk to me.
How do you explain that. A man with a duck and monkey in a bag. I didn't.
I smiled wished them a good day and left. See what I go through to make you guys smile??
Another day in my life...
I'm giving the gay duck to the dogs....

I'm going to spank my monkey.(shut up Gat)
 
As I walked back to my truck, I noticed another car had pulled up and two ladies were setting up to relax on the beach.
They were between me and my truck so I had to walk by them. They were both youngish (50ish)."


THANK YOU DOUG! "Youngish (50ish)"

You really know how to watch your back around here.....way to know your audience!


You did this to make us smile? Got a belly laugh out of me! Thanks!
 
Doug, you have outdone yourself with this story! I laughed so hard, I cried. Now my knee doesn't hurt anymore. You can tell us stories ANYTIME!!!! You're the BEST!!

Maybe now peace will be restored in your household. Well......maybe not.
 
Bye, bye duckie. Just make sure they don't get ahold of that Bad Boy Monkey of yours!!!
 
Sure always blame the woman doug LOL me thinks your mokey isnt as innocent as ya put on LOL !!!!!!!! hehehehheeeeeeee but that was a good pic doug LOL
......................JIM
 
Hope the dogs enjoy the duck. Maybe next time you should take the dogs instaed of the monkey... just sayin'

And how much of the clothes did these young ladies take off....
 
Skeet....you're right. He did kind of cut the story off there. A great question that MUST be answered.

Also, Doug....since you obviously got in a conversation with one of the gals, how long exactly were you able to hold your tummy in? Didn't it make you talk funny to do that?
 
Yes that's what I had a real belly laugh, woke Kevin up, asked what I was laughing at, by the time I hobbled from the office to the bedroom to tell him he was asleep again.

I can just imagine you with your backpack under your arm, swishing away to your
truck :-)

Yes thanks for the comment about young at 50ish.
 
These two had set up a pretty good camp on the beach. There are scrub woods on one side and probably at that point only 25 feet of beach.
They had to have seen me coming. They turned on a stereo and pulled off their shorts and shirts. They did have bathing suits on. The thing that immediately caught my eye was that they had no tan at all. Here, you can't help but have some degree of skin coloring.
After the stupid duck quacked and the monkey growled, I just acted like that was normal for Fla. boys and headed towards the truck.
As for the stomach, I passed out for a moment when I sat down.......(just kidding).
I think I've already deleted the photo.
Since the monkey has recovered from his fling, and he seems so popular, I guess I'll have to see what else he gets into when I'm not around.
By the way, he did tell me that it really was a she. She colored her feathers. Only her duckdresser knows!!
 
Miss Clairol 3729G and 5083Y I suppose. Those are Oregon Duck colors.
 
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