Feeling Overwhelmed

[SusieSW]

Hi Everyone. I've been hesitating to post this, because it seems like a major wallow in whining and self-pity. Just don't know where else to let this all out.

My bilat. TKR was 10/23 and I've been working hard to recover. I'm afraid of losing major ground right now. I've been really sick - Doc says it's "walking pneumonia" and put me on antibiotics and bed rest. Exertion causes exhaustion right now, along with serious coughing spells. This all started nearly 3 weeks ago. Unlike some of you who've been released, I'm still going to PT twice a week, so I've missed a lot. I didn't go at all this week. I am so afraid of losing ground - haven't been able to do much more than stretches and icing. Any thoughts about how to regain the progress I've lost? I am more stiff and sore than I've been for quite a while.

Ok - here comes the pity party. None of this is tragic, just hard right now. I am in Cleveland, so it's cold and the ground is icy. I am so afraid of falling on the ice - but I can't stay inside much longer. My employer notified me one week before my TKR that they didn't want me back after my medical leave. (After 5 years of what they acknowledged was hard work, my supervisor decided I was no longer "a good fit"). They offered me a severance package which gave me income for a while along with health coverage till end of March, so I took it. Now I'm trying to find a job. I have an interview next week and I feel like a train wreck. Between the knees and the coughing, I wonder how I'm going to appear to a prospective employer? Hard to feel confident when the physical aspect is so out of sync. I have developed such an increased level of empathy for people with permanent disabilities.

To complete the wallow - my 15 year old cat is sick. She has been such a wonderful companion all these years, and so much so during this recovery period (although ever since I came home from the hospital, she has insisted on jumping on my knees). I am so worried about her. It's been hard to take her to the vet in this weather - staying upright while holding a cat carrier and a cane and going up the stairs to get into their office......

Like I said in the title, I'm just feeling overwhelmed. Anyone have any words of wisdom or inspiration? I need to get my knees back on track and I really need to boost my confidence next week.

For any of you who actually read this long post - thanks!
Susan

 

[Pattipoo]

Girl....your plate is definitely full. Don't have time to type much (I'm at work, but couldn't help but check in my peeps!) but, concentrate on getting yourself well. Put your every effort into that. I'm sure you know the little phrase "When God closes a door, He always opens a window".....keep that in mind....pep yourself up as best you can, I'll say a big prayer for you and I hope something wonderful happens to you very soon!
Patti

 

[Doug]

Susie,
I am so sorry for your plight. I had the walking pneumonia early last year. I can't imagine having that on top of trying to recover from the TKR.
My first suggestion is to take care of your emotional needs. Do you have a close friend, family member, or preacher you can talk to? We'll be here for you but I was reminded just yesterday of the value of just spending time with people.
I totally understand feelings about your cat. I'm sitting here icing my knee with my 8 year old boxer coiled up between my legs. She has cancer.
I have had pets all of my life and received so much companionship from them. Unfortunately there comes a time they have to leave us. I tend to believe that some day we will be reunited in a better place where there is no pain and we can all run all over the green pastures chasing the ball. Enjoy them while you have them. Get another when you are ready because they bring too much joy to not have one around.
Now, on to the knee. I know about the weakness you talk about. Personally I would suggest doing the hot bath soak and stretch we've posted so much about this last week. Heat the knee up, bend it and relax. Then ice it down. It should help your ROM and help your chest congestion. Good luck and I hope this helped.
Stay in touch.
Doug

 

[TitaniumMan]

Hello Susie, Yes your plate is full for sure. WE HAVE ALL BEEN IN SIMILIAR SITUATIONS AS YOU ARE IN. Please dont get discouraged. You will improve. Use positive mental thoughts like I did. Picture yourself doing something nice, like being with your friends and family at a bbq. Pick up the phone and call someone. POST YOUR FEELINGS HERE SO WE CAN SHARE! Thats what this board is about and I think the owner/moderator Josephine will agree with me. Do some light PT at home, get up and walk around the house a few times. We all were where you were at. The depression along with the pain can almost be unbearable sometimes. At some points in my recovery I cried like a baby wishing I never did the TKR. Now, all is well....IT TAKES TIME, some recover faster than others. Remember, you are not alone here! May the God of your faith give you comfort and peace in your time of recovery. Im looking forward to seeing more posts from you soon!
Godspeed,
Chuck.

 

[TitaniumMan]

PS: Just a thought, but maybe your cat loves you so much he/she is sharing in your pain with you! Im a cat lover also and my 2 kittys were right with me during recovery even though I was not attentive to them for the first few days. Changing the litter box was my first act of home Physical Therapy, LOL. My 19 year old Tomcat is sitting right next to me as I type this, they are smarter then we think! Feel better soon and share some thoughts with us!
Chuck

 

[TitaniumMan]

My first suggestion is to take care of your emotional needs. Do you have a close friend, family member, or preacher you can talk to? We'll be here for you but I was reminded just yesterday of the value of just spending time with people.
I totally understand feelings about your cat. I'm sitting here icing my knee with my 8 year old boxer coiled up between my legs. She has cancer.

Doug, excellent thought and suggestion!

 

[SusieSW]

Wow. Thanks everyone for your kindness. I posted this and decided to get into the shower (guess I was channeling Doug's thoughts even before he sent them!) - thinking it would help both the stiffness and the congestion.

I checked this once I got myself together and couldn't believe the response. You're all amazing. I burst into tears, which I probably needed to do. I do have support, but no one gets what this is like the way people do who've been through it. Sometimes I think people around me are sort of fatigued by my ongoing problems - they mean well, but they have their own stuff to deal with.

I appreciate the understanding about my kitty. I found out she was going into kidney failure before my surgery. Now they think she has intestinal lymphoma. She's on a special diet and two meds. Such a sweetie. Every morning when I wake up she's sleeping right between my knees. The irony about the timing of all this is that because of this extended period being at home, I'm spending a lot more time with her than I normally would. So that's a blessing.

Again - thank you all for your encouragement and suggestions. So glad you're here. Susan

 

[Skeet]

Hang in there. God says He won't give you more than you can handle, but sometimes it sure seems like He pushes it. Take care of yourself and get well. Do what you can to get some movement - even just a short walk to the kitchen and back. Enjoy your kitty's love. Our pets sure seem to know when we need them most. It's hard to have a pet sick. We've lost several in the past couple of years and I agree with whomever said to get another cat as soon as you feel it's time. They are a huge source of healing for me. I have a cat and three dogs (2 labs and 1 pointer).

I'll be praying for your complete recovery from illness, quick recovery and no relapse for TKR, and peace for you and the kitty. God be with you. We're here for you and share in your joys as well as your sadness. Tears are simply your overwhelming amount of love pouring out your eyes. They are cleansing and healing.

God bless,
Skeet

 

[gatiger]

Don't ever worry about coming on here and feeling sorry for yourself, no one has done that more than me. If it were not the some of the responces I got on those 'bad days' I don't think I could have gotten through them. I know what you mean about friends and family not really understanding, although they mean well, they don't understand what it is like. They can't, no more than I can understand the pain of child-birth. The great thing is that this board is here and WE do understand. I think the advice the others have given is about as good as I could offer, I would add to pray. I think we all get overwhelmed at times, prayer and putting my feelings on this board seem to take some of the load away and make what is left more bearable. I can only add to try your best to concentrate on the positives, time with your cat, the progress that you have made, and the better days that WILL come. Hang in there, it will get better, God bless.

 

[Skeet]

I'm sure the right job is out there for you and they will not be concerned aboutyour knee. Just tell them, if they ask, that you are in recovery and should be 100% in a few months. You've come through the hardest part.

Let us know how you are doing.

Skeet

 

[jb94102]

Hey susie ill have you in my prayers tonight .GOD will take care of you for sure ... i sure hope you get better .....God Bless you .......... JIM

 

[jb94102]

Susie OOPPPS i forgot HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGS to you from Illinois :O)

 

[Doug]

Well we can't leave out HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGs to you from Florida!!

 

[Skeet]

Not to be out done... HUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGSSS from Oregon, too!

 

[TitaniumMan]

Susan......just reading your second post, I see that you are making progress. Yes, men do cry too, lol. I did, and still do, mostly tears of joy. Sometimes we need to hit the bottom before we can rise back up to the top! Keep up the good work and keep checking and posting on this Forum...................
Respects and Godspeed in your recovery,
Chuck

 

[TitaniumMan]

OK..........HUGS (IN CAPS) FROM NEW JERSEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ACTUALLY, HUGS TO EVERYONE HERE!!!!!!!
Chuck

 

[SusieSW]

OK - HUGSS back at all of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't think I've had this many hugs in a while. Thanks to everyone who sent me their thoughts - I was "overwhelmed" in a good way by all the support.

I'm waiting to see what may be behind the next door - someone talked about one door closing, and a window opening (Pattipoo?). This morning I learned that my claim for unemployment compensation was denied. Not sure why yet. I know they questioned two things - why I agreed to leave my last employer, and whether I was physically capable of working without restrictions. I had to have my surgeons office fill out a form for them. I know the nurse there was going to put something about any restrictions related to the TKR recovery. I guess I have to have faith that all of this is pushing me in some direction; I just don't know what it is yet.

I don't know what to think about the power of this board - but yesterday, after the first round of your wonderful posts and good wishes - I got called for another interview - so I have two on Tuesday. Makes you wonder...

So - I'm going to go to PT on Monday and try to get back on track - I'm going to have all of you with me on Tuesday!

Thanks again to everyone. Susan

 

[jb94102]

YOU go girl !!!!We all know ya can do it .like i always say the power of PRAYER is an awesome thing .......... good luck ........JIM :O)

 

[kath]

Susie,
As you can tell we are all here for each other. Perhaps this job thing is for the best, the next job may be so much better. You may find other opportunities to do something you love to do and get paid for it rather than a dead end job that you may have had. You will find when you go for an interview if you are honest and upfront about your surgery that most people will understand and not hold that against you. If they do, wrong job, keep going the right one is just around the corner waiting for you.

All the other advice everyone has given you sounds wonderful to me. Please stay with us, cry here, whine here, all the things you don't want to burden your loved ones with.
We love it!

 

[Doug]

Well you all just had to keep up and make me do it. You finally made this big ole retired cop tear up.
In police work the highest compliment one cop can give another is to say, "you're a good back up". That means when my life or safety is on the line they can be depended on to "cover my back", and be there through thick and thin.
So, to all of you, "You are a good back up"!! Nothing more I can say on it.