Oh, Jean.....I'm so sorry to hear these supposed "friends" are treating you like this! It's inexcusable and mean.
Let me tell you that I've been helping people with their joint replacement surgeries here on BoneSmart for more than 10 years. It is really rare when someone has excessive pain after surgery. Your medical team does this procedure day in and day out. They KNOW what to do to keep you comfortable. And in the rare case where someone may have more pain than expected, all you need to do is tell them you are hurting and they will try something else until it works. Doctors and nurses have a whole host of options for pain management following surgery.
These days most surgeons use a nerve block that gives you pain relief for at least 24 hours. Some even put pain medications in the joint before they close up which can give relief for several days. When you get to the hospital tell the doctors your concerns and they will tell you exactly how they plan to manage any pain you might experience. They want you to be comfortable.
And for heaven's sake....you will be able to use the toilet! In fact, you'll be surprised at how fast you are up and standing on your new knee. Depending on you pain management protocols, you may even be walking to the bathroom the first day. Your knee will be sore and possibly swollen somewhat after surgery. This means that bending to sit on a toilet can be a bit of a challenge. But there are things you can do now to prepare.
If you don't have a "comfort height" toilet, you might consider getting one. Most people these days find they are just more comfortable to use than the old low toilets of decades ago. If that's not an option, you can get a raised toilet seat to use temporarily. Or you can use a toilet frame that has arms to allow you to raise and lower yourself using your arms. When I had my TKRs, I used my walker and arm strength to get up and down on the toilet. My therapist showed me how to do that with my good leg only and it worked fine.
Here is some reading material from our BoneSmart Library to help you get better prepared for surgery and hopefully to ease your mind. You're going to be just fine!! If you find yourself worrying about something, just post here and we'll help you out. We're here for you!!!
Although you are way past some of these steps leading up to surgery, I've left the article links for you anyway. Sometimes it helps to read the articles and reassure yourself that you're making the right choice by having this surgery.
New BoneSmart members like you are in various stages of their journey to joint replacement. Making the decision whether or not to have surgery and preparing for surgery can be easier once you have done your research and know what lies ahead. Here are some tools that can help you decide what is best for you.
If you are at the stage where you have joint pain but don't know for sure if you are ready to have surgery, these links may help:
Score Chart: How bad is my arthritic knee?
Choosing a surgeon and a prosthesis
BMI Calculator - What to do if your surgeon says you're too heavy for joint replacement surgery
Longevity of implants and revisions: How long will my new joint last?
If you are at the stage where you are planning to have surgery but are looking for information so you can be better prepared for what is to come, take a look at these links:
Recovery Aids: A comprehensive list for hospital and home
Recliner Chairs: Things you need to know if buying one for your recovery
Pre-Op Interviews: What's involved?
Regardless of where you are in the process, the website and app My Knee Guide can help you stay organized and informed. The free service keeps all the information pertaining to your surgery and recovery in one place on your smartphone. It is intended to be a personal support tool for the entire process.
And if you want to picture what your life might be like with a replaced knee, take a look at the posts and threads from other BoneSmarties provided in this link:
Stories of amazing knee recoveries
@jean6183