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Encouragement needed badly....

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Dewey

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I don't know if I should have started a new thread for this, but I wasn't sure how many people were following my other one. I am in need of encouraging words this morning.....

Just returned from a trip to Walmart. It was so hard to walk around that store and get some needed Christmas gifts! I have absolutely NO stamina now, and the pain is just horrible. I am afraid I'm just not going to be able to give my family a Christmas celebration like we've always had. I cried all the way home. I have a wonderful, supportive husband who will do anything I ask of him ( I know I'm so, so lucky!), but I WANT TO DO IT!

I'm scheduled for both knees in the beginning of the new year (end of Jan for right, and then 6 weeks later for left), and I just need someone to tell me that it WILL get better! I know the recovery period will be tough (and I'm dreading that), but I have to be able to believe that this constant pain when walking will go away! I feel like I've given up so much, and now I have to give up Christmas.

Sorry......this is just my first "real" pitty party, I guess. I have felt so fortunate to have found this site and all of it's wonderfully supportive posters. I'm looking for your kind, encouraging words today. Thanks, so much, in advance for anything you can say to help me cope.
 

Toothfairy

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:friends: :santaclap:
Hi Dewey,
The pain will go away, that is why you are going to have the TKR's. Once you have healed you will get your life back.
As far as Christmas goes you may just need to think laterally.
How about you deciding on gifts and sending your dearly beloved to buy them. You can then do the wrapping. Another idea is to use a wheelchair or mobility scooter this year to let you be there without being in agony.
There is a lot you can do towards Christmas while sitting down.
I am sure the family would rather have you happy and enjoying it with their help rather than you doing everything and being exhausted and miserable.
As women we tend to think we need to do everything. Sometimes we have to accept that others can help.
They will not do it our way but the sky will not fall.
Try to let them help and allow yourself to rest and be looked after for this year then next year you will be well recovered with two super new knees and you can do it your way again.
Hang on in there, you will be fine!
Big hug,
Toothfairy
:reindeer: :xmaskitty: :xmastree:
 

Ms.fixit

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Look at it like this..NEXT Christmas you will be a force of nature! And soon, for me as well Jan 2nd, instead of being in pain and getting worse every day, you will be getting better every day! Til then just lie around like me and let people do for you for a change...
 
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snowman & bird waving.gif
Ms.fixit, you have exactly the right point of view about the situation. Enjoy being taken care of.
hat falling down.gif
 

Lori-M

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Hi Dewey, I'm glad you started a new thread.:yes: I didn't see your original one; I'm not on the boards as much as I used to be now that I'm back at work. I agree with what everyone has said...the pain will be gone after your surgeries. Yes, the recovery can be tough but you have to look at the goal and keep your focus there. Now, about Christmas - I like Toothfairy's idea of sharing the load. :giftsa: I understand though that sometimes you just need to be there to see what your gift options are. I'm about 4 months post-op on my partial and I use the mobility scooter the store provides when I shop. Especially at the WalMart because it's so freakin' huge! I prop my cane (which I only use no when I'm away from home:yes!:) in the basket and off I go. Do take advantage of that tool if you must go to the store. If your lovely hubby can pick up what you want then you wrap the gifts yourself with all the love you obviously have for your family, all the better!:treesmiley:

It WILL get better. It does take time and effort but a year from now you'll be feeling 100% better! Hang in there! :chrisglitter:
 
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Dewey

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Thank you all so much! Sometimes, these knees just get the better of me! I feel guilty for even feeling sorry for myself this morning when those poor people in CT are suffering so today.

I will try very hard to keep positive and keep the vision of painfree knees in my mind. Your encouraging words sure helped me today.....Thanks, again!
 

jancat

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Dewey- You will feel AWESOME this time next year! The first 3 weeks, which are the hardest part of the whole thing IMO, are the "OMG why did I do this period." During that time, be sure to spend LOTS of time on this forum and reading the articles in the library. You'll be doing that while icing and elevating, and maybe your posts will be a little hooey because of pain meds, but we will understand.
Then the " I am SO glad I did this period"- the clouds part and you start to see progress- you go from walker to cane; then you can bend a little more, then you walk without a cane for a bit. Progress might seem slow, there might even be some setbacks. Then one day you do something without initially thinking about it and it hits you- you walked to the mailbox and forgot your cane! And nothing hurt!
I was in so much pain in the end, not ibuprofen nor 10mg of percocet touched it before the TKA. Four months after my uneventful TKA and recovery, I had a setback (read Jancat's Story if you want to know more) and yet I am thrilled I had it done. I am on my feet all day at work and I just zip around now like a little kid! Even now I feel that it is still getting better. It is wonderful to be pain free and I can't even recall the last time I took ibuprofen or any pain meds at all!
This is the best place to be, stay here and keep reading!
You will be SO glad you did it in the end! You will get your life back!
Good Luck and keep us posted!
 

referee54

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I had a BTKR done five years ago. Recovery was the roller coaster ride that many of us have come to expect---but I cannot begin to tell you how much better I felt---obviously not immediately, but, after recovery---say five months or so for me, as I had the BTKR, my life changed 180 degrees for the better!

You will be truly amazed at how great you feel after it is all done and you are fully recovered. You will not have that nasty and nagging arthritic pain and yo will be able to do basically anything that you want to do---and you will not have to take any meds, any anti-inflammatories, wear any braces, or use and supports---you will have new knees and a new life!
 

Knitter4444

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It gets better. Bone on bone pain is not the same as post op pain. There is a tremendous difference and after a few weeks post op, you will be so pleased that you did something for yourself. We are here for you. Lots of support and understanding. Who better to talk to than those that have been through the "experience"
 

kneeper

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I am sure the family would rather have you happy and enjoying it with their help rather than you doing everything and being exhausted and miserable.
So true. This year you need to take care of yourself and let others help. Next year you'll be better than ever and able to do all the Christmas stuff you want to.
 

Toothfairy

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Hi Dewey,
I hope you are feeling a bit better today,
Toothfairy
:xmaskitty: :xmasdance:
 

Nyland

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I understand, Dewey...in fact most of us understand. I still need my left knee replaced, but having one good knee made things so much easier this Christmas. The 3 months of tough is so worth getting your life beck. You do! Slowly, but you do. Hang in there and think this: You are going to have a fabulous summer!
 

Celle

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Hi Dewey,
I understand. Last year, I was recovering from a TKR, done on 9th December. I had to let others do all the Christmas things that I usually do. It was hard to let go of the control, but everything worked out fine! It was a different Christmas from usual, but it was still Christmas.

I talked to my family in advance and they all stepped up to the plate. My dear hubby cooked a whole salmon (quite a change from our usual turkey), my son and his partner roasted all the vegetables, and his partner's daughter made us a dessert - she was learning cooking and catering at school.

Nobody minded working for their Christmas dinner and they were all so proud of what they accomplished.

You family will know how much pain you are in this year, so ask for their help. Look after yourself this year, because next Christmas, you will feel so much better!
 

1ELISEA

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Just returned from a trip to Walmart. It was so hard to walk around that store and get some needed Christmas gifts! I have absolutely NO stamina now, and the pain is just horrible.
Hi Dewey
I'm not a person to get all wound up over things. Once I made the decision I moved into logical objective mode as I mentioned once. I start making lists, keeping busy getting things ready, not dwelling over decisions I've made. Unless you plan to change your mind, it's going to happen so keep busy and the time will be here soon.

Your trip to Walmart I find interesting in that it reminds me of the story I just recalled on my thread recalling going to the dentist right before my TKR and then very recently.
You can read about it here. Click here.

Hopefully, it will give you an idea of what you might expect by next year for Christmas. Take care!
 

RestAssured

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Hello!:)

I had my first two knees done 8 weeks apart, but it would have been 6 weeks if I chose to go to the other hospital my OS operates out of in a big town. Anyway, all the pain from walking took it's toll on me before surgery. I was a 7th grade English teacher, and I had braces on both legs and walked with a wheeled walker! I wasn't living I was merely existing. I had 6 previous rounds of MRSA before I had knee replacements, and my doctor was honest with me about the chance of infection in my case being 50/50! I knew the risks but something he said brought home the idea of surgery. He said "Do you want to live a life of quality or merely quantity?"

I had the first one done and at the time I weighed 435. After I had the first one done, I was standing on my tiptoes with the right one. So much bone had turned into bone spurs, and when they did the first one they took out 6 golf ball sized spurs, one of which was lodged under my thigh muscle! I ended up with MRSA pneumonia, after the first one, but we had antibotics going so it never hit the knee. The second time was when MRSA attacked my right knee! Well, here I am two years later and I have had three surgeries on the knee. the last one was a revision and now all I need to do is get the muscle on the insde strong enough so I can keep the kneecap in place!:happydance:

As you will see if you read much on my story, I am usually very positive. I find that staying as positive as possible helps me immensely! I can tell you this, I am glad I got my knees done because it has given me the chance to lose 150 pounds! I am exercising and doing PT 6 times a week alternating between the two. I love living again, and people see a huge difference in me; not just weight wise, but personality wise! I am positive with every person I meet at therapy, because I want them to know they can do it too! I told an 91 year old man that comes in and exercises with his nasal cannula for oxygen, that he inspires me! He told me that watching me change throughout the course of therapy has inspired him! I just love living again, and you will understand after you have finished rehabbing the second knee. I will be praying for you!:angel:
 

tashia

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I so understand what you are saying. I really had lots of problem with pain before surgrey and now I am so happy. I finally got to have a Christmas and its so great. But you need to get the surgrey so you can be recovered by next year. Keep posting here and if you get scared I understand. You will do fine. Just keep coming here.
 

KathyH

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What is it with us women that we want to do everything ourselves, trying so hard not to accept help when it is there ready and waiting? As everyone keeps telling me, don't worry about it - easier said than done I know.

Just you try and concentrate on yourself. Your knees are the most important thing at this time. There's always next year to make up for everything and we can make things twice as nice to compensate :heehee:
 

Roy Gardiner

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... I am afraid I'm just not going to be able to give my family a Christmas celebration like we've always had. I cried all the way home. I have a wonderful, supportive husband who will do anything I ask of him ( I know I'm so, so lucky!), but I WANT TO DO IT!
Dewey, of course you want to do it. And you will. This year, them; next year, you. No bother.
 

leenie60

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I live in Connecticut and can tell you it has been a very tough few days, indeed whether you live in that town or anywhere in this great State.

I'm going in for my 2nd TKR tomorrow the 18th (right leg) and I understand not being able to walk much although this right leg has never given me the same level of trouble as did the left.

Have you considered shopping on line and having the gifts brought to you? It is an absolutely liberating way to shop, if you can. You have a computer because you are posting here so if you haven't given it a try perhaps now is a good time to try. As others have stated and as I will reiterate, once you get those knees replaced - yes you will have some tough days but life will be so much better. I was out shoveling snow after just 3 weeks with the first replacement. I could stand for 15 minutes or more without one bit of bone on bone knee pain. It was wonderful and I'm certain you will feel so much better at this time next year.

Best of luck.
 
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