Embarrassing Question

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Nancy

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Okay don't laugh, but how long after surgery can sex return to the picture. Remember I had both hips done at the same time.
 
Certainly not before the 6 weeks restrictions is up!
 
Nancy, I posted a thread re: this topic several weeks ago--perhaps Josephine can find it. Totally understand the question. I am 2.5 months post surgery and all is good--think my Doc said any time after one month but I didn't feel up to it til a couple weeks after that.

Laurie
 
Girls, I hope you are under 50....lol....I will just put it this way, it was months before I was ready with the one hip....But, you will know when the time comes. Your new hip (hips) will let you know......Patty
 
Okay don't laugh, but how long after surgery can sex return to the picture. Remember I had both hips done at the same time.


Hi Nancy,

Pretty normal question and one that I was very concerned about too! I had simultaneous bilat THR like you also. DH and I have a pretty active sex life that is very important in our relationship (and I am over 50). So the idea of going weeks without was a hard sell. However, there is sex and then there is sex, if you know what I mean (just ask Bill). We were able to be intimate as soon as I felt the urge which was about 5 days post, but did not try to have intercourse until a good two weeks out. My surgical restrictions allowed for that postion and we just took things very slowly. Still, I recovered must faster than average. Everyone is different, so you will have to see what is best for you, but as long as you take things cautiously, your body will let you know.

Andrea
 
Andrea,
As they say, You go girl....
I was in such bad shape for a long time before THR and intimacy was not on my list but we BOTH understood the issue at hand and dealt with it. The main thing is to be on the same page with your spouse. And, be on the same page with your own body and it's healing process. Patty
 
Thank you all for your input. FYI I am 53, so yes sex is still in the picture. I guess I am dealing with a double whammy as I am also in menopause (ouch) so the drive is way low, but still there. You are all correct as I should listen to my hips. They are almost ready but I think if we take it slow we can make it happen without any pain or damage. Thanks again.
 
HI ladies, Just for the record, I am over 50 too--almost 56. I am on same page with Nancy ( and second the "go girl" comment--couldn't have been further from my mind at 5 days post op) Be reassured, in spite of the menopause factor, once you are feeling up to it (I needed the confidence of knowing I could do other activities with new hip first) all is so much better after surgery.
Laurie
 
Nancy and Laurie,

I will join you on the menopause. I will be 51 on the 30th and I would say I am premenopausal. The hot flashes are killing me. I bought a fan to blow on me in bed and my husband calls it the TURBO FAN...Like an airplane..lol..I just crack up but without it I think I would die.....I will have to let you know after my next hip operation next year. Seems the arthritis is getting worse so I am not a pleasant person a lot of the time. But as I say again....YOU GO GIRLS....
 
Hi, I asked my doctor the same thing...he gave me a pamphlet that was all about sex after hip replacement, and it discussed positions...with pictures... and per cautions etc. It's not at all embarrassing.it's a fact of life. I think all doctors should give it to their patients.
 
It is interesting that only women are commenting on this topic.
Guys are not usually very good about talking about many personal topic, but will talk your ear off about a new carburetor or quarterback rating..
I asked this same question just before my THR at the beginning of June. It was a question my girlfriend wanted answered. My feeling was that intimacy can wait until you don't want to wait. The nature of the intimacy is of less importance since there is a wide range on the continuum between no intimacy and hanging off the chandelier wackiness. Something in that range would be physically non-risky at any point in the recovery process. An evening of massage and cuddling soon after the procedure would be too much for some, yet for some of us who had a faster resumption of normal life(if you can call suddenly having no paid after 5 years of daily suffering "normal life") were ready for more "expressive" expression of affection and intimacy in a week or so. It makes no difference really, it all accomplishes the same than, reconnection and strengthening the bond. The problem as I see it is when it can't be talked about between partners or having the feeling that something is expected. That can kill desire as much as the recovery itself. So talk about it, if you do not feel up to anything physical, a true partner will understand before you do, and be thrilled with just the romantic talk or reading poetry to each other, with the lights low and nice candles flickering.
Be sure NOT to be talked into anything or submit to unrealistic expectations from a partner who might not understand your lack of desire is not a rejection of them. You are broken and your mind and body has an extra load of fixing itself. Be selfish in this case. But keep talking, or writing if your relationship does not normally talk about such topics.
Notice I am not writing very much about the time needed for resumption of the physical relationship. I think there is no date where one would go from low interest and ability to suddenly having great desire and ability. It is a continuously sliding scale and the scale goes both directions, some days progressing and other days retarding.
Some positions will be riskier than others, any where flexing at extreme angles or supporting heavier weight should be introduced later than those where you do not exert much energy or require much strength and balance. The spoon position for example can be very comfortable and relaxing even early on as long as a support is used between your knees to prevent crossover.
You body will be capable about the same time as your mind desires. Don't push it, or set a date as a goal. By just taking your quiet time together as a time for focusing on each other, with no expectations for intercourse, one day you will just fall into each others mutual desire. A sensitive partner might be more concerned with your being hurt than you are, so you might have to be more of the aggressor and provide the boundaries for both of you.
Have fun ladies!
 
this is so true stan - thanks for posting it. it was several weeks for me before i felt like i could be physically sexually intimate. the desire to be close never failed, but the desire for sex is often diminished not only by pain, but the meds to boot. you might be able to engage in activity before you feel like it! when we were ready to take the next step, my partner was so concerned about hurting me that i took the lead - we were not waiting any longer! lol
 
Re: noisy hip

I too have the odd hip noise but only in my right hip. When standing behind a chair or sofa and then leaning slightly forward or resting chin on hand the hip makes an odd, single kloncking sound. Well, as long as it does not pop out it does not bother me.
 
What do hey think is causing this klunking sound,,,,,are you still having this? I'm 12 weeks out of TRHR & I was curious to what your OS is saying to you,,,,,what type of material is your hip? Is this supposed to go away or will you be reminded of this everytime you get out of a chair?
 
Also from a man's point of view...

The natural drive to eat, sleep, breath, and have sex are undeniable and ultimately irresistable.

As Bill Clinton once pointed out, there are a lot of different definitions of having "sex". One does not need to throw a hip out to be intimate and well, to be delicate, make the "earth move..."

There is an uncertinity of performance, both of the organ and the hip, that might cause caution in your mind; so taking things out for a test drive all by yourself first, just to eleviate any concern of the performance or pain level associationed with a certain amount of straining, is probably a good idea. This may be just as good of an idea for you too ladies...

As a couple, we began at first with some tender and careful "help" just a few weeks into recovery, to one day a couple of weeks later we were in the bathroom getting dressed and well, lets just say that the sink makes a great support for physical activity...

Life post-op is good!
 
However, I have heard of sinks coming off the wall ....

Just sayin'
 
Yeah....and explaining that to the paramedics who come to your aid could be especially interesting....just sayin'....
 
Ladies, where's your sense of adventure...

Anyway, it was a large double wide vanity sink with a full cabinet under it, not much chance of collapse. Beats swinging from the light fixtures! ;-)
 
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