Depression/post-op blues - open for all

[lalaura]

Hi everyone
Im new here
I just posted my story, i have arthritis and 2 hip replace.
Now passing through the emotional rollercoaster of feelings, depression anxiety time...

 

[ddj]

It is good to recognize the roller coaster is common to almost everyone. The replacement of both hips and my newest knee surgery have all brought ups and downs (mostly downs). Expecting it, my last two surgeries, I planned a way to, even for a short time, to get off the rollercoaster each day.
Choose something that simply "makes you feel good" during other times and carve out time each day (even five minutes is a good place to start)
For me listening to music on my headphones when I needed to rest and could not stop thinking, helped focus away from the other stuff going on in my head.
For me coloring also helped, which is very strange in that a (almost) totally non-productive activity is not something I was comfortable doing. Although I did get a bit of productivity out of the colored pages.... wrote notes to my friends, kids and grandkids and sent the pages to them! Bit odd to see pictures you've colored on someone else's refrigerator!
Relaxing and "not worrying about things" is not a skill I have naturally. It takes little steps to create and refine that skill. Hang in there, it does get better.

 

[Smad]

I too am glad I found this forum and know I'm not alone. I may suggest to the "Joint Nurse Coordinator" that they add counseling to their post op therapy. Only if they see signs, and my signs should have set off bells and red lights. I had an especially hard time, and people handle depression so differently. That should be on their checklist for each visit, and upon discharge in case they feel you need follow up counseling. Mental health problems are so often ignored.

I too am so pleased to read people’s accounts. You have expressed exactly what I’ve been thinking regarding after care and being given the information about those days when anxiety and depression set in. Until I joined the forum recently I was beginning to believe that tha state of anxiety was peculiar only to me . I am now becoming reassured and hope that my unexpected troubled mind will revert to a state of calm . Thank you .

 

[Murin]

It sounds like you've had a particularly bad time. I remember being 'told off' some years ago for not being able to get on the bedpan in hospital and I fell to pieces. When you are in such a vulnerable state, everything is a big deal. All you want is kindness and understanding. I asked a nurse last week to hold my hand in the anaesthetic room and I've been having surgeries for 43 out of my 50 years. I know that feeling of just wanting to bury yourself under the covers and it is like a vicious circle that then affects your physical pain and motivation. Please be kind to yourself and know that if you need a listening ear, I am more than happy to help you id I can. Perhaps we can help each other. I agree nobody should suffer in silence and there is a distinct lack of emotional support in the UK too. Hopefully this forum is a start. Take care of yourself. Best wishes Amanda.

Hi there! I had a left THR posterior in the beginning of February in hospital in Southampton. It was as a result of a fall in a dangerously maintained swimming pool changing room - i am doing a personal Liability claim. The reason I am replying to your message is your comment about the lack of emotional support in the UK. I have very up and down days even though i have practical help from my estranged husband and autistic 23 year old son. I have had NO support at all from the hospital - even the OT have only just noticed me and are not coming round for another 3 to 5 weeks. Had one badly written sheet with instructions and pictures from the hospital which a friend of mine pointed out was the same one he had 20 years ago. When I rang the GP for counselling they referred me to steps to well being which will not help autistic people like me. Like you I hope this forum is a start to feeling less lost. Sorry about rambling on.. All the best from Caroline

 

[Mojo333]

Hi @Murin
to the forum!

I had a left THR posterior in the beginning of February in hospital in Southampton.

I'm sorry you had an accident and it resulted in a total hip replacement.
I CAN tell you that One month out was when the post-op blues descended on me. This is a big surgery but you can recover and get back to an active happy life.

We have some great recovery articles to share with you and if you could please let us know the exact date of your left THR, we can add it to your signature.

You can find alot of great advice and support here, so please consider starting a recovery thread.
Here's the link that gives you the instructions you need to do this: Starting a thread and posting
If you need help with this, let us know and we will start one for you.

 

[HopalongCassidy]

In my case (R THR) it’s very clear to me that the mental and physical aspects of this operation are equally important. I’m lucky to have a wife who works from home so my support is always close by. I can talk to her about anything.
If I was on my own right now I think I’d be very down. Social isolation at a time like this must be very hard to bear.
On another point, I’ve learnt to beware of optimism! When I’m feeling positive I tend to overestimate what I can do. This inevitably leads to me going too far with my exercise, hurting myself and then feeling down. It’s all a balance and I’m learning that!
Face time, social media and this forum are all great ways of reducing isolation.

 

[Jaycey]

It’s all a balance and I’m learning that!

Yes, it's all about finding the limits on a particular day and scaling back. What seems impossible one day will be easy in the future!

 

[Psikey]

At week 5 I had an evening of being a bit down, feeling sorry for myself with discomfort/lack of sleep, but fortunately not lasted.

Not being able to sleep makes me feel down most when so exhausted but just can't drop off for hours. Now 3:20am in UK and back down stairs typing this as not dropping off again, week 7 after op.

 

[Mojo333]

@Psikey
It really took me Soooo long to get my Sleep cycle back in line... the restless legs and any comfortable position was comfortable for about 20 minutes.
I was constantly moving.
I tried all the advice and suggestions offered but honestly Time was the only way it finally got back to normal.
Lots of sympathy...
Hang in there.
All Temporary, and it WILL be worth it.

 

[smithyknee]

Totally agree ! I think it's the, almost total, lack of sleep and the contant niggling pain that gets to you. I am always a happy soul, always positive, but I have had a few days when I have not been able to stop crying. I know when sleep returns my world will be a happier place! (8 weeks in)

 

[Jaycey]

@smithyknee Are you taking any pain medication at night? Even paracetamol may help you settle.

Hang in there - it does get better!

 

[Hippie Chick]

Hang in there! This surgery is a very hard one! My body wakes up about one hour prior to next meds. Checking the forum here has kept me busy when everyone else is asleep. I have also watched some tear jerker movies when I wanted a good cry- anesthesia makes me more emotional for a while. Not being able to do the little and big things stinks! I have learned that online shopping is a big no. We will get through this together!

 

[smithyknee]

@smithyknee Are you taking any pain medication at night? Even paracetamol may help you settle.

Hang in there - it does get better!

Yes, i am taking paracetemol. Dosn't seem to work on the nerve pain in my thigh ......

 

[AlbertTatlock]

I’m suffering a from some blues.
I know that it’s lack of sleep (writing this in my chair while everyone else is asleep) mostly caused the the restless, aching and swollen leg.
If anyone else out there is reading this , then at least we’re in it together.
We’ll get there !!!!

 

[Jaycey]

@AlbertTatlock So sorry you are suffering from post op blues. Please know that this is all temporary.

Are you icing and elevating that op leg? Ice will decrease the swelling that is causing you discomfort. Hope you get some rest soon!

 

[Hippie Chick]

When I cannot sleep, I like to read other comments on the forum. Due to members being from everywhere, there are new postings all through the day. My sleep patterns are not all back to normal. If my meds make me drowsy, I use that time to sleep as well. It gets better!

 

[Solar7]

As I posted in my recovery thread, I think the post-op blues are kicking in. I'm not liking being so separated from my friends, being on a new routine that's mostly set by my parents, a lack of privacy, and I guess I just feel old and a little unloved.

My parents are still in their 60s and in pretty good shape, but it does make me bummed out to be looking around at nearly 40 without a girlfriend or kids, wondering what I'd be doing for help if I didn't have them... And post-covid it's just been a relatively isolated few years for me. My dreams have been really negative too.

Just venting. I knew I'd struggle with depression before this, and it's rearing its ugly head as expected.

 

[Hippie Chick]

Hang in there! Find something to do that will engage your mind- I had to do this earlier in the week. Too much time dwelling on the situation was not helping me. I am still having brain fog from the anesthesia so I am doing activities that don’t require full concentration. I truly think going through this single has its own set of problems. You could FaceTime friends or have a Zoom meet up or even old fashioned calls if you cannot visit in person. You may need to reach out first as friends may think you are still sleeping around the clock. This downtime is a great opportunity to binge seasons of shows you may have missed. Keep posting on BoneSmart as we are all in this together! And we understand

 

[Solar7]

Hang in there! Find something to do that will engage your mind- I had to do this earlier in the week. Too much time dwelling on the situation was not helping me. I am still having brain fog from the anesthesia so I am doing activities that don’t require full concentration. I truly think going through this single has its own set of problems. You could FaceTime friends or have a Zoom meet up or even old fashioned calls if you cannot visit in person. You may need to reach out first as friends may think you are still sleeping around the clock. This downtime is a great opportunity to binge seasons of shows you may have missed. Keep posting on BoneSmart as we are all in this together! And we understand

Thanks! I'm not a big fan of video chat, but I keep in touch with people via text, my group chats, etc.

I'm definitely feeling "dumber" post-surgery, haha. I don't know if it's just that my brain hasn't been engaged with much, or if my body is redirecting healing resources away from thinking too hard while it repairs the big stuff... who knows?

Watching shows, playing games, etc., as recommended. I appreciate it all!

 

[Hippie Chick]

I have had 2 other surgeries- one at 19 both non-bone related. My RTHR has definitely been the most trying as far as recovery. I have used the search function to find things which has helped. Next year I will hopefully have the other side fixed but I will have a stronger hip during the next round and I have learned a lot this time.