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Depression Help!

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Jayne

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I'm a very upbeat and happy person and not much gets me down. But for some odd reason my nerves are shot. I think it is waiting for this surgery and I'm well known in my little town because I own the Grocery Store. Everyone knows I'm having my knees replaced and I'm getting so many opinions I want to cry.
People know I have done aerobics for years and ran in 5K races for a long time an they feel free to tell me I'm crazy to have both knees done a once. Just the other day a man who I have no idea his name said I heard your getting your knees done and you must be a glutten for punishment. I just wanted to run and hide.
Now granted my husband have Parkinson's and no one is suppose to know and that depresses me because I don't know how well he'll be able to take care of me after the surgery. He can barely take care of himself. So I hired a nice young lady to clean, help with meals, laundry etc. Plus I do have a wonderful daughter who would do anything for me.
Then I worry about my little dog. He loves me so much and he'll be so upset not to see for several days.
Has anyone else been like this? I'm trying really hard to be upbeat but, I do have some pain and I have given up my work at the store until after the I'm better.
Any help would be greatly appreciated so I don't think I'm going nuts.
Thank you all you terrific Friends!!
Jayne
 
Jayne, I felt the same way before surgery. I too live in a small town about 600 people and I am on the Fire Dept. and on our Rescue squad so everybody knows me as well. You are doing the right thing by having them done at the same time, just get it over with. I had 4 weeks to wait for my surgery date and it was excruciating 4 weeks to hear everyones comment and just for me to think about it. It's a trying time but you can do it try and stay busy so you don't think about it constantly and before you know it you will be all done. Stay strong, you are in my prayers and I am sure you are going to get alot of support from your new friends here at Bonesmart. Somebody is always online if you need to chat. Take care your new friend. Mayberry
 
Jayne, hon....you are NOT going nuts. You are just feeling the anxiety of a very important upcoming event. Well, that and feeling the result of insensitive things that people can say sometimes when they really mean well. Geeze....SOME PEOPLE!!! How in the world do they feel qualified to comment on something if they haven't been through it!!!????

Remind me again when your surgery is.....

And, FOCUS on the things you have already done right already:

1. You made the decision to make your life better
2. You picked a good surgeon
3. You have made arrangements for help at home at the beginning of your recovery
4. You have a daughter who loves you and would do anything for you
5. Hubby will try his best and will be a comfort for you too
6. Little doggie will miss you, but will be that much happier when you come back home
7. You have given up work at the store so you don't have to run into those "well-meaning" people with the crazy comments

You are sooooo together! And I'm so very proud of you!!! As Jo says, there is a fine line between being anxious and excited about the surgery. Anxious is just misdirected excitement. Think about how good life will be after the surgery....how you will have pain, but you will recover from it....how you will be able to do things that are difficult for you now. That should help get the anxiety back to excitement.

Also, be sure you are getting enough rest and some exercise. If you're having trouble sleeping at night, don't be afraid to take a Tylenol PM or something like that to help you get the rest you need.

Trust me...everyone feels nervous as the surgery day draws near. We're here for you, my friend. You post ANY TIME and support will be right there!!! (((((HUGS)))))) to you!!!
 
Jayne.....Isn't Jamie. Our resident teddy bear? Of course you're a nervous wreck! Just the anticipation of surgery is enough to make anyone a nervous wreck! Don't even worry about those folk who have to stick their 2 cents in.....Now just think of all the positives,,,,you'll be able to re-claim your life, you will have your family's support! Yes, because you're having bi-lats, you know realistically, that it WILL be difficult, but then it will all be OVER and you will be way on your road to recovery! :)
 
[Bonesmart.org] Depression Help!
Awwwww......thanks!
 
Mayberry, Jamie, and Jules, I have tears in my eyes reading what you have said and I thank you from my heart for your support. I thank God everyday for this forum and people like you. Jamie----you are the best. You all are! My surgery is June 4th.
My heart is full tonight of dear friends.
Jayne
 
Okay then....rest well tonight surrounded by our virtual hugs. That's what friends are for.
 
I STILL love that song! Oh Jayne!!!! Before you know it, this (****!!!)will ALL be behind you!!!! :)
 
Just Finished my surgery 2 wks ago RTKR. These people on here are like a family...We will do anything to help..Well they have the knowledge. I can only offer you an ear if you need one. I will be a lil ways in front of you if you need anything........hang in there.......
 
Jayne
Last April is when I made the decision to have my hip replaced. The date was June 6th. So pretty similar time frame.
I kept myself really busy (my doc gave me a prescription for vicodin). I too was worried about my dog, who loves me best in the family. He sometimes cries all day when I am gone. He did fine with me gone for 5 days. He was also so smart and gently when I came home. He knew something had gone on and just lay and rest with me.
I recently had back surgery and was gone for 11 days this time. Same sweet gently greeting when I returned.

You will do great and have planned so well already.
welcome
judy
 
Sometimes people have a need to say something, anything! And frequently there is no rhyme or reason to what they say. They just have an inate need to fill a silence.

We have a saying in political circles here in the UK "I need to say something - this is something so I'll say it!" (Actually the saying is "We need to do something" but it works for a lot of things!)
 
Jayne-
It sure sounds like you are doing ALL the right things. I'm on the "waiting side" too and it is tough to keep myself from over thinking my decision to go for BTKR. My date is May 18 and it seems like forever! On the other hand...LOL!
Finding BoneSmart is the best thing for all of us. There are no more caring people anywhere. So glad you're here,too!
Blessings,
Irene
 
Jayne

Use the time to get yourself in shape as it well help alot with rehab afterwards. Even if the knees are really sore you can do a few thinks like just tightening the thigh muscles (quads). I had found one exercise site but they might be more advanced so I looked around again and found this site https://www.dhmc.org/ortho/For_Patients/joint_replacement_dvd.html from Dartmouth Hitchcok. This link brings you to the video with some real basic knee exercises. They also have the paper version of this on the site which you can print off. You will probably get the same info when you go to the preop class.

Also, don't forget to work on the arms and upper body as you will need them when you use a walker or crutches.

In addition to the knees don't forget the hips and even stretching the calf.

Keep yourself busy and time will pass. Most of us thought we would do all these projects as we were home recuperating but most of us found we just could not concentrate on things so maybe do the projects now.

One project would be do to some cooking and put meals in the freezer.

Simon

Simon
 
Which aspect of this experience prevents you from concentrating on things when you get home? I ask, because I have a little list of things I am thinking I will use that time for, and I am interested in why that doesn't always work.
 
Grino,
I thought that I could really get a lot of jewerly made while I was recovering!! And I could not get anything done. I just wanted to sleep and take pain pills. Same with reading. Just could not get my mind to kick start.
^i^
RTKR on Jan 14 2009
LTKR on March 6 2009
 
Gingo

For me I had a horrible time getting a good night sleep and that went on for about 6 weeks till I talked my doctor and got some help (Ambien did not work). I do think the pain pills just make you foggy as well as just being tired from the surgery. As Calling said even reading was a problem. Everyone is different but if you just want to do nothing that is normal

Simon
 
Just Finished my surgery 2 wks ago RTKR. These people on here are like a family...We will do anything to help..Well they have the knowledge. I can only offer you an ear if you need one. I will be a lil ways in front of you if you need anything........hang in there.......

That means the world to me! Everyone did help me and I love you all so much! The world has so many wonderful people and they are on here. I told my husband just how much you all have helped me and he had the biggest smile. I know he worries and any help I get makes his day.
Jayne
 
Judy, How sweet your little dog knew something was not right. Biscuit (mine) does sleep when I do. He gets in his nap position whenever he knows I'm sleeping. I thank you so much!
Jayne
 
Simon, Wow!!! I can't thank you enough for all the info. I certainly will start today and I never thought of getting my arms ready. When I used to work out 4 times a week I was fit completely and never worried because I had a full body workout at class. Your information is just wonderful and I will copy the exercises on paper & start them. You have been a tremendous help to me. God Bless.
Jayne
 
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