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Caregiver's husband home today

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PAgrandma

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Wow, expected it to be bad, but not like this... (for him and me)

Surgery was Wednesday and it went well. Little swelling, bruising. They released John today (Friday) one day earlier than expected. Care in the hospital was attentive except they forgot to take out the IV tube after his blood transfusion before we left.. had to remind them. After care instructions were nil. No mention of stool softener, ice, nothing... The visiting nurse is supposed to call tomorrow and perhaps then....

He has NO appetite, problems urinating (comes on without warning... lots of changes of clothing... and then just dribbles) Pain is not a problem at this time, and altho I told him about Jo's chart... and take pills on schedule... no deal. It's been 7 hours since last medication.

This man is soooo different from the guy I've been living with for the past fifty years, I'm in shock. He's being so hard headed about everything and says I'm arguing with him (maybe I am). Perhaps that's why they sent him home so soon!

Well, thanks for letting me "vent". It's been a day to forget.

Joyce from Pennsylvania
 
I had problems with urinating after the surgery. Since it was my ninth, I expected a little short term problem which is usual because of the anesthesia. However, I wasn't aware that I had an enlarged prostate prior to surgery. The catheter inflamed the heck out of it and it totally closed down my urethra. They gave me Flonase and it took care of things.
And personally, it sounds like you've offered your advise and help. If he chooses to be a knothead as us guys can be, let'em hurt till he realizes the error of his ways.....If you really want to get him back, hold off on the stool softeners! That'll make him sorry.....(just kiddin)
 
Joyce you can vent here anytime. Everytime I am sent home from surgery it seems the nurse asks me what my doc said . I have had surgery 5 times in the last 18 months. This last time (back surgery) I was in no mood to be funny, but after either a knee or hip scope all that was written down by the nurse was to use crutches!! It was pretty darn obvious.

I certainly was not told abaout stool softeners, thank everyone here for drilling that one in my head last spring. Also they drilled in take the pain pills on schedule and I did.
If your husband wants to learn the hard way, you tried.
Vent anytime a lot of us haave to deal with spouses
Judy
 
Doug, about Flonase is really helpful. Will look into it with the Visiting Nurse if not before. John's PSA number (is that correct?) has been going up... not alarmingly, but up every year.

Loved your humor, lay it on.. I need it... I'll show the old sunofagun.

Judy, Five surgeries! You certainly have the experience with hospitals and nurses. Thanks for the ok to let my man learn the hard way.

Joyce
 
My sympathies....we are tough on the caregiver......my husband used to beg me to take my "happy pills" as he called them when I would become a bit....ummm...tense :)

The lack of appetite is VERY common.

It may take awhile (ok, it WILL take awhile) but the man you married will be back--and almost certainly he will be happier and more active.

Everybody gets to vent here :)
 
Well, we can only agree you tried. Nothing else but to leave him to it and learn the hard way (no pun intended, Doug!)
 
Oh Caregiver! So nice to be appreciated after all your worries!
Keep that sense of humor,,,it will definitely get you through!
If he wants to be a stubborn mule, then let him be, he WILL come around! In the mean time, you've got a lot of support from US!
Look at it this way, it'll HAVE to get better! ;)
 
PA, just another tid bit of info...Flonase shrinks the prostate...BUT, the sinuses swell shut. It is just another weird aspect of our bodies...A squirt of nasal decongestant (Afrin) takes care of it.
Jo, I won't touch that one....no pun intended either...just sayin'
 
Hey Gretch, Jo,Judles, Doug

John went to bed tonight...no pills, no food... nothin'

I've been trying to sleep on the couch so I could hear the bell I got for him if anything was needed. Turned on the computer to pass some time and after reading all your wonderful replies have decided to go to my soft warm bed!

Night all..(keeping fingers xed for the morning)
 
Joyce, bless your heart! You are a pillar of strength already! Hubbie will one day soon realize what a gem he has to care for him. Don't worry....he will get appetite back later. He will come to realize he needs to take pain pills. And you will have more peace in your life. Give him a few days. But....when the visiting nurse comes, spill your guts and tell everything he is and is not doing. Sometimes advice coming from an independent party works better than what comes from your loved ones.

You can always post here for support. We have TONS of it for you!!!
 
Hi Joyce. Sorry he's giving you a hard time. Is he on Cumadin (blood thinners?) That and the painpills will constipate him. Can't believe he won't take painkillers. Perhaps the leg block hasn't completeley worn off yet and that is why he can't pee properly? When I had my MUA in the summer they gave me enough for a complete TKR again, idiot anaesthetist!! I kept peeing the bed while I was in recovery. Embarrasing but couldn't feel a thing. Didn't even know I was wet :-)

Can you sneak him some prune juice? Or sprinkle some bran in his cereal if he eats tomorrow? I lost my apetite for weeks, the pain and the Percs caused that. Lost lots of weight ,though now I've put it all back on and then some :-(

Be patient with him as you do feel grumpy and miserable at first. Tell him to get on the forum when he feels up to it. I found it at 3 weeks, I thought I was being a big wimp until I came on here. It was a life saver.

Anyway, you make sure you keep posting. Vent all you like it helps so much. And cry to yourself if you like, good stress releiver.

Take care of yourself too. (((((HUGS))))) Sue
 
Good morning, and as all suggested... it's a better day.

Judles, Both John and I got a resonable amount of rest. Didn't hear any "bell" overnight... doesn't help that my hearing is going, tho.

Jamie, Probably won't see the Visiting Nurse 'till Monday... but I'm keeping notes for her. John did take an oxycodone tab from his "Jamie table" overnight.. (remember me?). He didn't want another this morning so it appears his pain level is ok. Congrats on your promotion to "moderator"!

Sue, No Cumadin prescribed... just the Oxycod/Apap 5-325mg and over the counter Ecotrin. John did take two Docusate Sodium (recommended on this board!) last night for constipation. No results yet, and he's mentioned trying an enema. He's not into computer stuff, so doubt he'll ever participate on this forum... his loss!

Doug, Urine problem seems to improving. Volume is up and no laundry requests that I know of. He's keeping the "bottle" handy. He did have blood on his penis and catheter when it was removed in the hospital (catheter, not penis!) so damage was done.

Gretchen, Considered asking if you had any "happy pills" for me... but think I'll make it through ok without 'em!

So, John's still napping. My day has begun on an up note. The feral cat I care for is improving too. "Spot" injured his leg somehow and didn't eat for three days... just like my husband. I've been too occupied to trap him and take to the vet, but time seems to be helping. So the cat and John are both limping. Perhaps we can "name" the TKR "Spot Junior"

Thanks again for support and encouragement. Don't think I'll need to sound off any more, but will certainly call on you guys for help and suggestions.

Joyce

p.s. one last note Jo, good luck with your up-coming operation
 
Joyce, how sweet of you to remind me of the "Jamie table." Of course I remember!!

I am so happy to hear things are better today. Just be prepared for both good days and bad for a while. Hopefully the scale will balance on the "good day" side. Either way we're here for you!!!
 
Doug,
Did call the surgeon's office (of course, it's the weekend and closed) Anyway,
the physician on call returned my message and said, "just wait a few days". I said what about trying Flonase? Reply... " ok but not Flonase... you mean Flomax". Is that right?

Waited an hour for him to call it in. Not done when I got there.
Home now with their phone # to call before trying again! Oh, and a skunk let loose under my van last night. Thank goodness it's warm and could drive with the windows open!

John's still sleeping. He ate 1/2 of an eng-muff, some milk.and pain med. Progress!

Joyce
 
That sounds about right for an appetite at this point. It takes a while to get it back. Be sure he's eating at least a small cracker with each dose of pain meds to prevent stomach upset.

Joyce, you're doin' GREAT!!!!
 
Sue,,,,,,how onearth do you sneak prune juice????? LOL!!!! :)
PA ,,,,,how are you both doing today???? :)
 
Maybe Sue sneaks the "juice" in a Brandy Alexander. John could barely taste the raspberry jam this morn. Guess the lack of taste buds affects appetite.

John's doing better. I'm hanging on. Still a bit stressed out...inhale, exhale

Joyce
 
And a cushy chair with a nice cup of tea.....
 
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