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broke my heart

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mdakota

mdakota

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yall i was just posting my 5 week walking video to my blog
and it broke my heart. my pain is not even pain any more its only soreness if i overdo it which i do all the time. my activity level has trippled since before surgery. and my family had loved having me more like myself again. if anyone can tell i'm hyper by nature so if you stop a hyper person its like caging a bear. when my body cant move my mind goes 1000miles a minute. lol
anyhow. i was watching it and compared it to the one i posted before surgery. it dosent look any better. now i'm supposed to still be on a cane. and this whole list of good stuff but that just really hurt my feelings. i'm actually sitting here with tears in my eyes.
 
Monique, my dear girl! Don't be so hard on yourself!

Rejoice! It looks really, really good for only 5 weeks! The movement was fluid, unhindered, unhesitating and confident. My goodness, what did you expect - take up thy bed and walk? I'm afraid not! You still have plenty of healing and rehabbing to do. Show me one in 5 months that's the same and I'll believe you have something to cry about!
 
Monique, really don't beat yourself up - you are doing so well. I have just watched your videos and you do look so different and are walking so much better. The trouble is that we know how we feel and want so much for things to be quickly back to normal, but what took a long time going bad is also going to take quite a while getting good. Plus we have to learn how to walk properly again - heel/toe, bend the knee, use the hip and not the pelvis etc, it is going to take us a while.

So be positive and be very proud of how much you have acheived at this very early stage - you're looking great. :thmb:
 
No need to sulk, Monique! Just think how you felt only a few weeks ago! Chin up and be proud of yourself for a change!!! :)
 
Monique, Monique...Are you kidding its in your posts you are so so so different....You have all the push in the world...You are upbeat..Please dont worry you are doing so well. Dont expect to much of yourself in 5 weeks...Except enough but dont push it...Dont go backwards...You have always been so positive dont loose that, that is what is going to get you thru all this and help you push forward....You keep going . If you are feeling better then you are getting better maybe not as fast as you wont but I can bet you are...........Keep that chin up wipe those tears...and be happy you have to brand new hips and it will all be better then that mess you had before......Smile be happy you will be off and running (well).lol) before you know it...Thats an order....:hehe:..PS dont look in the past look whats ahead and I can guarantee its a bright future!!!!!!!!!
 
Monique, You are walking great at 5 weeks. From one who is comin up on 1 year RTHR, trust me, the recovery is early. You will continue to improve well past 6 months. I can't wait to hear how you are doing months from now.

I limped badly as well. I can't tell youthe exact timeframe, but at some point, I could feel myself walking straight. What a joy. I am a walker so this means the world to me. I am quite annoying as folks walking with me can't keep up.

Anyway, be patient with yourself. I still can't believe how much recovery was ahead of me at the 6 month mark.

Laurie
RTHR 8.26.08
 
thank you everyone. i really needed that. from what i'm told i'm way ahead in pt. they have me doing 6 inch one legged squats only using the fingers of one hand for ballance. i stand on a teeter board and do reaching activities . i'm just on that cusp. the line between getting over the surgery and being all the way healed. i look and i'm smiling on that video. i'm proud of how things are going but that tenous end that i want to get to where you cant even tell i've had it done that is what i'm going to keep working for. so if yall can keep me pushing forward i apprecite it.
 
Steph said:
Monique, really don't beat yourself up - you are doing so well. I have just watched your videos and you do look so different and are walking so much better. The trouble is that we know how we feel and want so much for things to be quickly back to normal, but what took a long time going bad is also going to take quite a while getting good. Plus we have to learn how to walk properly again - heel/toe, bend the knee, use the hip and not the pelvis etc, it is going to take us a while.

So be positive and be very proud of how much you have acheived at this very early stage - you're looking great. :thmb:
Click to expand...
when you said walk from the hip not the pelvis. i really need to concentrate on that. i hadnt thought of that one. thank you and i'm going to keep on doing little videos, the next one right before the next surgery.
 
Monique, you look GREAT! And at 5 WEEKS?!? That is awesome!:thmb:
PLEASE don't be too hard on yourself.... like you said yourself.....5 different muscles cut, sliced, diced, sawed, reamed, wrenched, hammered, swiveled, sewn and stapled....and now you want to do a marathon? ( Kinda...)
PATIENCE, and small painless steps that get better every day wins this race! 'Smoothness of gait' will come as the muscles heal and strengthen.
I'm pulling for 'ya...! ( God HAS Blessed you :wink: )
Lee
 
mdakota said:
when you said walk from the hip not the pelvis. i really need to concentrate on that. i hadnt thought of that one. thank you and i'm going to keep on doing little videos, the next one right before the next surgery.
Click to expand...

When I was having hydrotherapy that was some advice one of the PT's gave me because she saw that I was still trying to use my body the way I did pre op, when I walked quite straight legged as I didn't want to put pressure on the hip or knee which also had pain. Trouble is old habits die hard and your brain needs to relearn I suppose. So I made a concerted effort to use my hip and it is amazing how quickly you get used to it. Good luck Monique and keep up the good work.
 
Dear Monique,
I must confess to being slightly annoyed with your post.You are being totally unreasonable with yourself! You are only 5 weeks post surgery, you have had life long hip issues, and you still have one hip that is yet to be replaced......what do you expect of yourself? You have muscles that have barely functioned for years, and then they've been sliced etc and yet you expect to be walking perfectly already? How many other adults do you know that have to relearn how to walk and can do it perfectly in just 5 weeks??? The rest of the population have been training their muscles to walk since the day they were born. They have had years of abductor/glutes/adductor muscle training everytime they take a step....not us, our hips haven't allowed us to exercise these and many other muscles, so they have wasted to next to nothing.....and yet we expect to be able to do it properly in no time at all? What athlete has trained for a month and then gone in a competition?....muscle training takes time and patience and continued determination....you are doing incredibly brilliantly.....you are walking without a walking frame, you're becoming straighter, you've got a smile on your face....so its not hurting.
Please do not get discouraged, just keep slogging away at the physio and don't worry about what you perceive you SHOULD be doing.....SHOULDing yourself is a mistake. Its like learning anything, start where you are and then keep going forward....you are beautiful and you are exciting and inspiring to all of those new people out there who are scared of what THR is about......embrace your new life and continue to march forward into new frontiers.....but just do it one step at a time, and recognise each little milestone and celebrate it.....

I hope I haven't been to brutal!
Rachel
 
Hi Monique,

You are doing really well and so early on. You go girl.

I understand the whole take a photo of the foot thing! I have one too!!!!!!

Be kind to yourself.
 
Erm, like I said earlier, five weeks is not 'on the cusp' of total healing! Five months is!
 
yall are so right. i think when i compared the before and present i expected a bigger difference. i feel like a different person. i dont have to grit my teeth when i get up and down, i walk comfortably and i'm doing so much. i just expected to see a difference i didnt see. everything yall said was true. and i would tell it to anyone else. i love my new hip and after i read posts yesterday i really started putting things back in perspective. i can exercise now and once the other hip is done i'll be able to do it with no pain, something i've never had before. physio is keeping me until the next surgery then well start over with the other leg. once that is done i'm going to join curves, its a work out center just for women. i got caught up in one thing and i really know better. rachel i needed to hear that. it was beautifully put and so true.

the thing i really needed to remember is that this is just the beginning its not the final outcome, then the best part the one i should have been thinking about. all its going to take is exercise for years i would have loved to have heard those words. and i'm only talking about a limp, not the pain a limp dosent keep you from living its an annoyance. the pain kept me from living. i dont have that pain anymore. my right hip hurts but its on its way out, and having even one good leg has made a huge difference. i am very blessed and i sounded very ungreatful. thank yall for all your support and if you see me having a pity party i need a good kick in the pants . i feel too much better to not appreciate it.
thank you
monique
 
VERY well put 'Roo! EXACTLY what I was trying to get across, with a BUNCH of good points! ( I'm gonna have to remember them..:blush: )
Monique, just me, but I think it's shared by ALL here, 'we' want EVERYBODY to do the very best possible to get ready for and go into surgery as informed and at ease as a person can, and come out on the 'other side' and get as much out of their 'New' life as possible!
It was great to have my first hip done....but after 2 years of gritting thru life till I had the OTHER one done, having the second one CHANGED MY LIFE like I can't describe!:pray::wow:
You ARE doing GREAT.....and the best is yet to come!
Luv 'ya! Lee
 
Hey monique! I remember you sending me such supportive, comforting and very kind messages just a couple of days before my LTHR surgery. That really helped me build my confidence. And now, you breakdown by being too harsh on yourself over something so normal? UNACCEPTABLE. Like others have been discussing for so long, you just had a MAJOR surgery! and yes, recovery will take a few more weeks. What you should be glad about is being on the other side! Think about it...you spend all these years with arthritic pain. It was hell doing basic tasks of life - walking, sitting, and even sleeping! Look at us now, NO PAIN! I say you just need to take care of your new hip for a couple of more weeks and your new hip will take care of you almost forever. And to be honest with you, your blog video seems perfectly normal. I have spoken to my surgeon over the phone a few times after surgery in specific context of post OP limping. According to him, we are doing perfectly normal as recovery times average out anywhere between 6 weeks to 3 months. You just need to be more careful like you have been all this time after surgery, and within a couple of more weeks, you will be feeling better than ever. Just hang in there...you will be limp free in no time! :p
 
I remember your emails too...after my surgery. You look great and 5 weeks is pretty early. I had been having pains the last couple of weeks and called my doc. They told me at least 6 months before your body really heals! So give your self a little time.
 
Monique.....Our parts are bionic....now the rest of our bodies just have to catch up!!! :).
 
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