Hi, Billy.....sorry but I'm just now reading your posts. As you've noticed, you have a lot of caring friends here on BoneSmart from all over the world. That's the thing that makes our forum so unique. The membership has a few of us staff members, some of whom are medical professionals in the orthopedic field....but most of the folks are just like you who have been exactly where you are in recovery. They can sooooo relate to how you feel. Some have even had spouses, family and therapists who don't quite grasp the concept of the pain a TKR can bring for a while.
So, while it may be easy for your family or therapist who have not had this surgery to tell you to push through horrific pain, it frankly is not the best for you and your recovery. At least for the first few months, gentle bends and stretches are best. Your knee is angry, swollen and injured. It must have quiet time to heal before you go to pushing on it to the point of real serious pain. It will not "freeze up" if you stay on the gentle side. But, what it will do is become less irritated and swollen, which in turn will allow you to feel and move better.
I do feel one of the things that is impacting you is pain management. This is priority number one. You need to keep your pain levels at about the 4 level or less. You do that by taking your pain meds on a schedule all through the day and night. Since they only last about 4 hours in your system, you should be taking something every 4 hours. Do pay attention to the acetiminphen (paracetomol) as you are only allowed 4000mg in a 24 hour period.
The ice is also a fabulous resource for pain management. Keep it on your knee any time you are not up and about. Sleep with ice packs on front and back of your knee. It is not uncommon to need icing like this for three months or more!!! It helped me sleep...amazingly, since I HATE to be cold! But it works on an angry knee. Just be sure to have a towel between the ice source and your skin to protect it from freezer burn.
Your wife and daughter may be rather anxious about this recovery and that could cause their emotions to run a bit high. After all, you are a "manly man" and seeing you in a rather vulnerable and disabled state may be scaring them. I'm sure they want you back to normal as quickly as possible and that may cause them to put a little push on you as well. You need to resist this, though. Because the reality is that pushing too hard in a TKR recovery actually can slow things down and make recovery longer. So work on reassuring them that you have things under control and you're getting better....even if you don't feel like it at that moment. They haven't been through this. They are not walking in your shoes. And they just don't understand. Come here and wail and whine if you need that (we all do, you know!). We DO understand and we'll be here for you.
I also suggest that you contact your surgeon and talk about the therapist's protocol. I have a hunch the surgeon would not want his beautiful surgery strong-armed by an over-zealous therapist. And, if you take the initiative and talk to the doctor, then the therapist has become a rather toothless lion with her threats!
Hang in there....we really ARE on your side....honest!