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Bad depression?

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Dawnie

graduate
Joined
May 15, 2009
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558
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64
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United Kingdom
Has anyone else got into a state of bad depression, I cant stop crying all the time, I am so fed up with this leg, sometimes I feel it would be better if they just chopped it off, the last couple of days I have even had moments of thinking I'd be better dead. It has improved since the manipulation but only slightly, I still can not get 90 degrees and can get about 75-80 with a lot of pain.
JO, I PROMISE I will phone you later, but at the moment I dont want to talk as I cant stop crying and I feel stupid around my poor hubby, who has put up with so much. I have spoken to him and told him how I feel and he is so supportive. Please dont worry I wouldnt do anything stupid but I am so fed up of all the pain and discomfort.
I just wondered is this something that some people go through, could it be the tablets I'm taking? But I couldnt not take them just yet.
I feel a bit better just writing it down and I'm sorry to worry anyone, I will be OK, just needed to get it out of my system.
Going to try a shower to freshen up, will post again later. XX
 
Oh Dawnie Im so sorry yes depression did get bad for me ....but i tried to atleast walk outside sit outside get know there was life going on ........it does get better and you will..........I had thoughts like that about my knee as well...just we just get mad and sad,,..........but yes you have hubby and each any every one of us , we are all here for you.....Do you go online and play games ???? sometimes it just keeps my mind busy......i would walk and go chat with a neighbor not long just enough...........take care ill keep yo in my prayers......sweetie you are a blessing dont let yourself get to down and yes i believe the meds can do that.............) , call your Dr maybe he can give you something to help out a lil right now........feel better soon.......you are such a strong lady you will get thru this.....
 
Thank you Kim, I am so sorry that I started this thread, I wish now I hadnt, I know it is only a bad day (one of so many), but that I will eventually turn a corner. It's just that at 6 weeks I had expected so much more.
I have had a shower and hubby is taking me shopping this afternoon, spending money always aids depression. LOL.
Thank you for listening, I feel a bit better already.
I dont know what I would do if I had not found this forum.
XXXXX
 
Dawnie,

I remember having days like that the first 8 weeks or so and wondering what did I do to myself and I only had one knee done! Go easy on yourself. It will get better. For me, the 12 week mark seemed to be a major turning point.

Keep smiling! Have a great day! :wink:


MOE
RTKR 1/27/09
 
Dawn, I think everyone feels down after major ops like this - probably because we had such high expectations of our recovery rates. It will improve and you will feel much better about it all soon I hope. Remember that 6 weeks post op is such a short period of time as well and this time next year you will have forgotten how you felt at this time as life will be so good. Pills can make you feel really rough sometimes and can affect your mood as well, speak to your GP and see if he can change the type of medication he has you on.

Don't beat yourself up over being tearful, we have all been there in one way or another. I would cry with just sheer frustration before my hip replacement because there was so much I couldn't do and cos my whole life was dominated with so much pain. Post op, I also got upset over quite a few things as well, but it passes, life takes over again and you soon move on.

Take care, and I hope you enjoyed your spot of retail therapy.

Steph
xxx
 
Thank you all, I am feeling much better and more than slightly embarrassed, I was a pathetic, snivelling wreck this morning but after visiting Daveys friend (who has terminal cancer), I have been able to put things back into perspective.
Thank you for your kind words and support, I shall endeavour to rise above these down days and look forward. XX
 
You are almost right on my schedule of depression. Mine started with an anxiety attack at 5 1/2 weeks. I think it was due to the oxycodone, but it continued with hydrocodone and started getting better when I got off those 1 1/2 weeks later. Then I used Tramadol. But one time I burst into tears at dinner for no known reason. Hubby and daughter made me go take a pain pill and after a few minutes I was feeling so much better, so pain can cause problems as much as the drugs can. I hadn't even realized that I was in so much pain. If you're using tramadol, you need to plan ahead because it takes an hour for it to work for me and two hours to peak. Oxycodone was working great at 1/2 hour.

Just know that this depression is very temporary. I had no one to ask and thought maybe I'd lost myself and didn't know if it would ever go away.
 
You are NOT pathetic and this is exactly what the forum is for!

Depression can be caused by any or all of the following

1. the original surgery which was - let me think - 5 weeks ago?
2. the pain killers
3. general recovery
4. having not achieved targets and needed to have an MUA
5. having had an MUA and feel like you're having to start from scratch again
6. having had an MUA and still got reaching targets - hello? that was like 4 days ago!
7. being fed up with constant pain which now seems to have gone back to the start
8. having started back to work and drained your energy (lack of energy can cause depression)
9. loss of appetite

That enough for you?

Speak to you later - I'm home all day.
 
Dawnie please don't feel embarrased in any way. In the last year and a half I sure have posted many down days. I always do wish i had waited one more day before sounding so depressing.
About a week ago i did go back on antidepressants. Then got depresssed that they take so darn long to have any effect!!!

it is totally normal to feel depressed, especially us independant types, and strong people. Right now i feel completely useless. And have been this way through most of 2009.

So it is normal, you will get better, physically and mentally. Post away about your mood. It even helps some of us in the same situation.
judy
 
These guys are all right, Dawnie. Depression happens. It can come from so many reasons or a combination of things....pain, drugs, frustration over expectations not met...just wanting this to be over so you can MOVE ON ALREADY!!! I think most people have experienced some variation of it.

That is why the forum is here....to help you when this happens. We ALL understand so well!! Don't you ever feel guilty about expressing those feelings. We would be upset with you if you DID try to shield us from them. We're your BoneSmart family....a special group that wants to know when you're feeling down like this so we can help you.

You have done all the right things, though....a shower, change of scenery, human contact and even a visit with someone who has more challenges than you. If anything can get your head back in place, these things will.

So please don't worry. It helps to vent these feelings. They will pass and things will be better. And, most important of all, we'll be here giving you all the (((((HUGS))))) you need.
 
Now wait a minuten Dawnie! First your OS didn't want to even perform your surgery, then you were like a warrior dieting your bum off. And even journaled all your meals, then you did so well and lost the weight..mthen you had bi-latsmmmDawnie! Your body and mind are finally catching up! So instead of being so hard on yourself.....be PROUD of yourself!!!Your hubby sounds like such a peach, Now go out and enjoy your retail therapy!!!!If anyone deserves it......and don't ever apologioze for being depressed!! Just let us know know how you go the next couple of days! And lucky you that you have our Jo!!! ((:0)
 
You deserve the blues for sure. Please don't be so hard on yourself.
I have not been a very gracious patient these last few days, myself.

Please allow yourself to feel all of your feelings, acknowledge them, but don't let them take over. You are doing spectacular, even if you don't see it. I am very proud of you. You have gone through so much, and are a beacon of strength. You do whatever needs doing, and come back for more.

Your body will cry because of anesthesia, and drugs and stress and pain. It is so much to put yourself through.

Get some fresh air, and good food, and look forward to tomorrow.

It will get better.

Kimberly
 
Oh No, I'm crying again, but not through depression, just by realising what an incredible bunch of friends I have found. I love you all so much, you are a truly amazing group of people.
THANK YOU ALL FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. XXXXXX
 
Awe Dawnie, here's a big virtual hug for you
{{{{{{{{{{{{{DAWNIE}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
and...if all else fails read my posts about what happened to me in rehab, that should cheer you right up. You can borrow my psychiatrist! LOL

 
Thanks Terri, sorry but I have had a laff at your rehab exploits. Its more the way you describe things, you make something that could be quite traumatic appear funny. Bless you, I'm sending a great big HUG back. XXXXX
 
Thoughts on depression....yes a lot of us including myself have gone thru these depressed time since surgery. You have done great by doing things to get thru the funk.

My thoughts.
  1. If anyone deserves to be depressed..we do! We have been sawed,chiseled and drilled. We have been stapled like a piece of paper and told to go do PT (pain and torture).
  2. I cannot think of any OS who has told their patients to expect the post surgical blues.
  3. Sleep depriviation...we have to sleep the same ways and if we move wrong it hurts and wakes us up. Sleep deprivation= major depression
  4. Lifestyle changes. Most of us are faced for the first time in our lives with our limitations. As kids there were none, as teens we pushed the limits, as young adults we did it all...and now...we cannot.
You have done all the right things...
1. change of location
2. visit with fun friends.
3. help someone else...take a week and clean out your food pantry and put a food basket together.
4. call a friend
5. look at life changes as a opportunity to do something new.

Hang in there dawnie!
 
Go shopping, Dawnie!! Help the UK economy!!! ((:0). And have a few nice meals out! That'll lift your spirits!!! ((:0). Hope you are feeling better!!!
 
Excellent post, Barb!!! :agree:
 
Thanks Barb. You know the only 2 people who ever brought up knee surgery and depression, to me, were family members of those whom had gone through it, and this was before my surgery. Seems people are afraid to realize this is a very normal side effect!

No one has ever asked me how I was doing mentally etc. Someone did ask if I got bored, and I said YES YES!!
 
Dawnie,

Apparently it is normal for us to have depression, boredom, lack of sleep, etc. Please do not feel bad--your post helped me realize that it is normal to feel down after this type of surgery. I loved Barb's comments as well. This site and you wonderful people may keep me sane.
 
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