Interesting you shared that, Angie. It reminded me what actually started my panic attacks around my hysterectomy.
First I was going to the gynae for painful periods for which I expected a simple D&C. But he found a cystic ovary which he said could be malignant so he needed to have a look see. If all was well, he said, he might as well do the job whilst he was in there!
But the looming prospect of cancer was completely wiped out of my head when my father was killed in a road accident. Since he had always been an absentee father even since my earliest days, I had a lot of trouble trying to motivate the rest of my siblings, especially my brother, to get involved with the funeral and looking after his totally disabled wife. I managed it eventually but at some emotional cost. The funeral took place about 5 days before the op. Stupid me fobbed off everyone's advice (at work) to postpone the op thinking I'd be ok, it was 'only' a hysterectomy, but two days after the op, I experienced my first 'attack'.
I was at another hospital and my friends from the theatre (we were all fellow members in the National Association of Theatre Nurses) came up to visit, someone came up with the stupid idea for me to have a look round their theatres! When I was actually in the room where I'd been done, I almost passed out! Wasn't upset or scared or anything, just came over me like someone had emptied a bucket of water over my head and they had to get a wheel chair to take me back to the ward! Was probably the stupidest thing I ever did!
And it just went down hill after that! Was supposed to have 3 months off sick but ended up having 6. Had visits to the psychiatrist (fat lot of help!) but in the end, worked out my own salvation by going to a local GP who taught pregnant women self hypnosis for during labour. One of my staff nurses was his patient and raved about how it had helped her have a natural delivery. He agreed to teach me the self-hypnosis and deep relaxation techniques. This worked a treat and 3 weeks after meeting him I was back at work and almost feeling like nothing had ever happened. However, it always leaves one susceptible and I have had brushes with the anxiety now and again over the years. Reckon I always will, given the right circumstances.