A Whiney Post from the Last Frontier

[AlaskanTKR]

It was great to get back on the computer and see that all the members of BonesSmart are still out there. I haven't had the energy or desire to get on the computer in such a while - but finally decided to check back in.

For all those "new knees" I had a rtkr on 7/14 and did great in the beginning. Unfortunately PT has been a beast. I was finally able to get 80 ROM after like 3 weeks and then bottomed out until 2 days b4 my followup with the oS - we pushed through to 90 -OWIE on 8/29. Os was not thrilled - but said - keep pushing. He was also not thrilled with the ext. I was told I was at 0 by the PT - OS said - nope you are only at 7 - and he pushed that he wants 0 - no choice - OK - COntinue PT and come back in 3 weeks - hmmmm

In addition he wrote me for part time work on PT days so that I can try to get to PT b4 the knee swells too bad at the end of each day (I am a Special Ed teacher with way toooooo many responsibilities this year) So - M, W, F I work till 12:40 and speed over to PT (after sucking down 2 Hydrocodone 10s and a flexirile - stay outta my way - ) Do anywhere from 1 to 2 or so hours of PT - Seems that I finish up PT - no matter what time we start - just in time to head back to school to pick up my own kid and finish up meetings.

Last week Monday was Labor Day - Wednesday he was able to bend me to 92 degrees with major tears streaming down my face - but no swearing this time. But then Friday was a total disaster. We couldn't go past 80- and that was a struggle. He said it feels very stiff. Talk about a total bummer. I was totally depressed for the weekend - I spent the weekend hanging the knee off the bed with 10 pounds of weight attached with heat and then icing for the night. A little lighter on Sunday so I would try to minimoze the swelling for Monday. Monday he pushed to 90 - 85 was fairly easy but that last 5 was horrible - Tears - very quiet - He always tells me to let it out - not me - I am an internalizer - so he pushes til he can't because I am flipping off the table - I was happy with the 90 - but then it almost immediately swells - Like huge! Spent last night on the ice into the wee hours of the AM - He taped me to help with the swelling and the plan was to ice all day at school today - I didn't wrap like ususal - BIG MISTAKE - Swelling is awful tonight. Not sure what I should do tomorrow, Supposed to Ice all morning and then go to PT at 1. Thinking I may wrap and use bag ice instead of the cryo cuff -

I see the Doc next Thursday - I am to the point that I may beg for a MUA - I actually think he may already be considering this since I am going back in so fast (3 weeks instead of 8 as outlined in original plan). I can't keep this up. The half days are killing both me and the kids I work with and I don't see any benefit - No matter what I am swollen when I get there.

The PT says he doesn't feel like the knee is having any major problems with the hardware - but the swelling and scar tissue is really making things difficult. I lke the PT - even though I would like to trade places with him. He just pushes until he can't.

I am so thankful you are all here to vent to. I am really trying to dig back out of the funk I have been in and get back on top. I really appreciate all of you so much.

Would I do this again. Last Friday my answer would have been NO!!! but after thinking things through and realizing that "this too will eventually pass" Yes I would. Would I have done things differently - YES. I would have stayed out of school for 4 weeks and then gone back. But I am plugging through and when I finally can bend this knee of mine I know I will be happy.

Pain that I had b4 the tkr is totally gone - I really only have pain that needs meds as a result of the PT stretching the knee to the point of no return. The regular exercises we do really only need ice to calm down the uncomfortable soreness. Thats what puzzles the PT crowd. The one PT can totally work the snot out of my knee and I can deal with it. (Strengthening) But when it calls for the knee to bend deeply (90) the pain is excruciating,

OK - enough of whine - I think I will need to have some cheese to have with my whine.

THANK YOU! For just being here!
Marianne

(And just an aside - no matter what your political affiliattion - Sarah Palin has been a phenomenal Govenor up here! The news has really understated what she has been able to accomplish with the oil companies - The day b4 she was announced for VP candidate she signed something called AGIA into law - It will provide a natural gas pipeline to the lower 48 - a project that 2 former govenors had not been able to get off the ground - plus she has been able to give each resident 1200$ - 100 per month for a year in order to help off set the cost of energy up here - 4.19 per gallon for regular - Again - I am neither democrat or republican - but I am a woman who understands the good old boys club up here!)

 

[JudyS]

Marianne,
I am so glad you posted. I figured you were exhausted. Sorry to hear it is going so rough for you.
You are strong and it will eventually be ok.

Please let us know what your doc says at your next apt. also about your progress at pt.
Judy

 

[AlaskanTKR]

Judy
THANKS for the reply! I have been on a roller coaster over this ROM thing. I have always felt like I have a really decent pain tolerance but this ROM is eating me up. And I guess I still have a good tolerance - just a nasty knee. The PT starts working it and can tell me how stiff it feels and how he thinks it must feel. I am really a quiet person so I try really hard to internalize and go to my happy place so I don't let him know about the pain so we keep pushing. I don't know if this thing is ever going to bend -UGHHH - Otherwise all is ok with the knee. I can actually sleep for a while and the weather hasn't really played games with th eknee yet.

ANyway - Thanks for the encouragement. I see the DOC next Thursday at 2pm - I think I may beg him for help- what ever that means. I have to get this thing going. and get back to living life to its fullest - If a MUA will help I am all for it. Whatever it take s - and school is aware of everything - so If I have to do the MUA I will take 2 weeks off totally to devote 100% of each day to this knee - I think that was my mistake - trying to go back too soon.
It wasn't that it was painful or anything - It was the time away from rehabing this thing! Live and Learn!

I had to kick the heat on in my house tonight and the trees have turned from gree to yellow with snow on the tops of the mountains - Fall is definitely here in Alaska!
Marianne

 

[Linda2]

I am so glad you have posted. I think about you every day and wonder how you are managing. I am so sorry you are having such a hard time with the ROM. How was your ROM before the surgery? I've heard many people say that has a major influence afterwards. Does your PT do any massaging (translate that as torturing of the scar tissue? Mine works on it every time I'm in there. I haven't had to have mine pushed so hard, so that hasn't been so difficult for me. Another thing mine does is use e-stim on it at the end of every session. That always makes it feel better. My thoughts and prayers are with you; you're the one who blazed the trail right ahead of me and encouraged me when I was feeling down. If an MUA is what you need, I hope you get it soon.

Linda

 

[beachcomber]

Marianne,
I've been thinking of you also and wondering how you are coping. I know I am barely keeping up at school myself and not dealing with the issues you have with your ROM and PT and a young child at home etc., etc., etc.

Take care of yourself. I think you have a smart plan if you do have the MUA to take time off and just work on your knee. Rest, heal, and keep it moving after the OS rips that scar tissue loose.

Good luck and stay in touch when you can

Beach

 

[AlaskanTKR]

I had really decent ROM before surgery - He never really measured it out - but based on what my other knee is doing I was probably at 140 or so. Maybe more - I actually had more trouble with extention. I was still able to sit "criss-cross-applesauce" b4 surgery - granted I couldn't stay that way to long - but I could do it. I had awful trouble with the knee just plain locking up and not unlocking unless I put my weight or someone else pushed against it to set it free. I had most pain at rest - I was still skiing on it in late March. I was really crooked. When you over lay my b4 and after xrays it is weird. I was really out of whack/ When I saw the os 1 1/2 weeks ago he thinks I should eventually get to 130 with no issues - but it will take time.

We worked heavy on strengthening during the first 6 weeks in combination with the ROM. I have had no trouble with that. I have been walking without assistance - outside the house since week 4. I just am literally STUCK. Its really goofy sometimes when I am doing heel slides on the wall. I added weight to see if it would help push it down and its a no go past the same point each night. Funny thing is I tried the weight on the other leg and whoooooshhhhh down it went. Needless to say - a little stuck.

My PT runs like - Heat on knee while hanging off the table with 10 pounds strapped to ankle - 15 minutes. Then it depends on the crowd - sometimes I bike for 10 minutes folowed by deep knee bends on the total gym for another 10 and then the bending or if PT isn't in the middle of "torturing" someone els (said with love) we start the bending - He always works it with massage and we move slowly - all the while increasing the angle ever so slowly until he thinks we can measure. Then - we go. He also has tried different tape - It was ok while he used tan - but this blue has gotten me way to many comments!


Beach - I can only hope that the OS is willing to consider the MUA - I really would like to give it a go and just take 2 solid weeks off - maybe head to PT everyday during those days and just let them push me as hard as we can. Had I planned better for this i would have done it the first week school was out and cancelled everything else for the summer- That was truly my mistake - Thinking I was superwoman - and not realizing that it wasn't that I couldn't head back to work - rather I shouldn't - and take better care of myself. School can really eat us alive some times!

Hang in there with your school as well - soon enough all will settle down! And all will be well.

Thanks again for all your support - You are all making me feel so much more confident that I will get through this rough spot and move ahead!

Marianne

 

[JudyS]

Marianne,
I felt I was superwoman last summer. I had the 3 level cervical fusion surgery scheduled for the end of July. First mistake, I did not think it was major surgery.
Second I thought in 3 weeks I would be fine. I had reservations at Yosemite thinking I would be hiking around.
Then assuming I would be going back to work 4 weeks later. Lots of large print books to get to about 14 different schools. Yet I was only allowed to carry 10 pounds.
As far as hiking, I think I was just starting to walk outside!!!

Anyway you get the idea. This time I did not have the super woman feeling. Of course being fired has given me all the time in the world to heal.

I think you taking the 2 weeks off to work on your knee would be very wise. I hope your doc agrees with your plan.

Judy

 

[carolinagirl]

Marianne,
It is so good to hear from you. I am sorry that you are having problems.
You hang in there. I wish you all the best.
Tammy

 

[AlaskanTKR]

Thanks for all the words of encouragement - I feel kinda of bad - I have a strong feeling that there are people out there who are struggling more than me - Except for the ROM things aren't that bad - just frustrating. My PT was a hoot as usual. We started after heat and the bike (I can now do 10 minutes with just slight issues of my backside leaving the seat - I must be such a sight) to stretch and bend. We could only get 85 again, but my pt was a sport and decided to torture me on the total gym with hanging into a forced squat against my weight for 20 minutes - oh joy. But then we went and bent some more and he was able to push it to 90 - so at least we didn't give up and maintained - but it is killing me now. It was really quiet there today so when a bad word sort of slid out - no one really cared. We joked about going to "my happy place" - most people see themselves on the beach - not me - it is the snow on the mountain tops that makes me happy - And believe it or not - our mountains got their first dusting over the past 2 days!
Ahhhhh the sweet smell of crisp winter air!

Marianne

 

[JudyS]

Marianne,
I am glad you have a great pt. I am going to one who is the best for my thoracic spine/neck/shoulder.
Almost waiting for my hip surgeon to send me there also for quad and glute strengthening (my problem areas)

I can go to either the beach or mountains. Actually I have had permission to hike my trail for the last week and head there every morning.

It is great to see you posting again
Judy

 

[RickB]

Marianne,

The best way IMO to increase your ROM is using a CPM. Now of course a lot of people do not have these, but if you have a rocking chair it can do the same for you. I am a rocker and by placing my feet down on the floor I can gentley rock and bend my knees. Try this it sure helps me.

Rick

 

[Josephine]

Marianne, this is what this place is for - for venting and support. It doesn't matter whether others are worse or better in their progress than you are, this is YOUR journey and we're here to support you every step of the way (pardon pun!)

 

[AlaskanTKR]

Hi Again - I thought I would check in b4 I go write 2 IEPs and go to bed. I have 4 meetings in the morning back to back and then off to the "torture team" - Just kidding - the pt group I am with alls themselves that - they are actually really alot of fun - except when my PT says we are going to stretch and bend on the total gym - UGHHHHHHHHH -

I had the CPM and used it for 5 weeks - team decided it was helping the knee progress past the 90 - He has me hanging knee off the bed with weight instead and using my desk chair to rock back in forth in with the cry cuff on at school this week - Unfortunately today was not a total success - I am very very very swollen tonight - Guess I will be sleeping in the chair elevated and iced all night - TGIF - I will be able to catch up on my sleep.

Josephine - thanks for supporting my vents - it means so much to have people who understand that it really isn't for lack of trying that my knee won't cooperate. So of the less brilliant people I work with just don't get it, I think they think I am enjoying the 1/2 days and sub plans, etc. I try to just smile and say - I would be more than willing to trade places. I had one say - It only took me 4 weeks to get back on my feet aafter my knee surgery. I smiled - asked what they had done and then giggled in my head - a clean out through a scope. I just smiled and backed up from the office wall - my lovely 9 1/2 inch scar surrounded by this lovely blue tape the pt put on - hmmmmm lets see - I was back to work 3 days (Friday scope - back Monday) after my 4th scope!!!! - Never said that - just smiled and went back to pulling the file I needed and hobbled all the way back up to my room.

Anyway - off to write those IEPS and hang my knee off the bed.
I am going to post a question - right hip is REALLY sore yesterday and today - UGHHHH lokking for help.

Marianne

 

[Linda2]

I have never envied you those IEPs, but then again, one of my good friends that teaches Special Ed never envied my having to grade all those essays. I must confess, I really don't miss that part!

Don't you just love those folks who think you could get better instantly if you "just tried"? They rank right up there with the folks who say, "Oh, you just have osteoarthritis. Aargh.

That's why I love it hear. Josephine always pops in to remind us the "3 months are still early days."

I have some pretty significant swelling, too, but I have not had to go through what you have gone through to achieve ROM. On the flip side, constant pain has been a problem. Nothing that makes me holler, but it ranges from uncomfortable to impossible to ignore. But it is slowly improving, and I know I will be better someday. Without this forum, I would forget that fact much more often.

 

[AlaskanTKR]

Linda - I wish it was just IEPS - Unfortunately I am teaching 2 Core areas - Math and reading with my HUGE (17) group of LD 5th graders. I love it but the job is like a job for 2 people. ARGHHHHH - Once they move to middle school my life will be sooooooo much easier - but I will sure miss them. I am lucky and the SED teacher's aid helps out with the grading on Fridays! I just have to do all the baseline and data collection on goals. -- I just finished th eiEP - Its a winner - and I am n ot even case managing. The meds have settled the back and hip down to bearable - now its just the knee- I love this place. It makes me realize how different we all are. I don't seem to be to affected by the weather - and boy are we having it - DAMP AND RAINNY - and damp is rare up here

I don't have nagging knee pain - Like right now it doesn't hurt - it is just soooo weird or uncomfortable when I walk - feels like I am dragging a lump of cement - its sorta kinda pretty swollen tonight. I am really lucky that way - it really just is a pain in the butt when we hit the place where we can't get past - I can suck up the owie on the way there - but past 85 it goes ape wild. Then it gradually goes away - ok the meds help - but the OS said to keep using them.

Ok - better go - the cry cuff, heating pad and bed are calling my name - gonna try some heat on the back and hip and ice the knee - what a scene- no pictures please.

Hang in there! Tomorrow is FRIDAY!! Maybe I will call in sick - HAHAHAHAH - Someone else can hold the meetings!

Marianne

 

[Doug]

IEP's....see, different meaning to different professions. I'm was sitting here wondering what you were doing messing with two "Improvised Explosive Packages"...
As for the whining....trust me. You aren't whining. If you want to see "group whining", go back to the January threads. We were all stoned on drugs, taking stool softeners, having winter depression(yep even in N. Fla.), and sleep deprived.
I hate to say it but all of the above are at best a "right of passage".
Just keep working it and in the long run, it will get better.

 

[Linda2]

An IEP is an individualized educational plan--each special education student has one. It covers many areas--Marianne could tell you all the areas. I wasn't a Special Ed teacher, but I did sometimes have sp. ed. students in my classroom. I would go to the meetings, and share what I thought the child needed in order to be successful in my class. Special Ed teachers (the good ones like Marianne, anyway) are a huge help to regular ed teachers.

 

[Josephine]

"Improvised Explosive Packages" or "individualized educational plan" - that is too, too funny for words!

Especially when one begins to wonder if there's actually much difference!!

 

[Rowdy66]

So glad you posted. Here I was thinking you must be doing swimmingly and you are in a funk and all alone, or at least without us. So sorry you are having such difficulty with the knees. I know how hard you have worked and how discouraging it must be, there is no predictor evidently for who will or who won't get scar tissue and need an MUA. I had a brother who had adhesions from every surgery he ever had that were a constant source of more surgeries to relieve the problems they caused. He didn't have knee surgeries but God knows if he had lived long enough he probably would have needed that too. I, like everyone else who posts here, will keep you in my prayers and send lots of good thoughts your way. One thing though, I do not understand what benefit anyone gets out of you having to return to work part time while dealing with the rest of the things you are dealing with. I don't think you are a whiner, I think you are very brave to have fought through all this and to return to work with children, no less. So keep us posted. Rowdy

 

[beachcomber]

Unfortunately, in some cases there ISN'T a difference!

"Improvised Explosive Packages" or "individualized educational plan" - that is too, too funny for words!

Especially when one begins to wonder if there's actually much difference!!