THR 4 months on and damage to soft tissue^

[PhilippaC]

For me, what was triggered was not just worry over breaking protocol or dislocation or simply not being able to survive recovery on my own. Instead I spiralled into some hell-narrative about permanent disability -- and worse -- aging. If I fell, whose arms would help me get up? If I screamed, who would know? I chose not to remarry after my divorce, so I began thinking: maybe I should have hung in so my spouse would help me to the bathroom. I never wanted children, but maybe I should have bitten the bullet so they could clean my kitchen now.

Fortunately, I quickly got over that narcissistic thinking, but I still felt small in the universe and imprisoned in my home, unseen and terribly vulnerable. I'm outgoing and sociable and volunteer in my community. But now all I could see was a very old woman...forgotten and dying alone. It was terrifying, and I cried for two days and nights. How many weeks would pass until they found my body? Would my animals starve or... eat my corpse?????? I'm serious -- I thought these things.

You made me laugh Merrimay but I also felt your support. Thank you. Like you I am usually a very outgoing and supportive person. I laughed because I had some similar thoughts, especially about now being an old woman with a permanent disability! In my panic I even went online to look up retirement properties!! ....but I don't think my cat would eat me!!

How are you doing now? And what stage are you at in your recovery?

 

[myglasshalffull]

Welcome!
Merrimay has already given you great advice along with the other "hippies" here, I'll just add that everything you are feeling and going through is normal, I had crying jags over some of the dumbest things (when I look back).
If you are feeling down we are here, we all support one another.

 

[Gloucestergal65]

You’ve already received some good advice and taken steps yourself. I think we all go through it at some point and this forum has helped me a lot.

 

[PhilippaC]

Thanks for your support myglasshalffull. It has been really good to hear that my response is common and very normal!

 

[PhilippaC]

Thanks gloucestergal. It's really good to be getting support here. I'm so glad I reached out.

 

[Layla]

You made me laugh Merrimay but I also felt your support.

I have to agree, Philippa, your thread has become rather entertaining. Merrimay has quite the creative imagination, but I do know when we're feeling low it's easy to allow our minds to go to the bad place. It's encouraging to know you laughed and feel better engaging here. It does feel like the best medicine at times and I am not sure how my recovery would have been without the support, encouragement, reassurance and laughs I found here, so please stop back often.

I called my good friend and just had a good cry. I do usually take a lot of interest in my friends lives ...how they are rather than focusing on my own stuff. I've decided to have video calls with friends, as suggested.

Great you're doing this!

when things get too chaotic, as they do when you can't do basic chores I find that a bit stressful.

I had a good cry about this over the phone one day with my mom early on in my recovery, My husband did take good care of me and I was very thankful, but he's very messy and doesn't put anything away. The kitchen looked like a tornado blew through and I didn't have the energy to clean it. Thankfully my mom and sister came over and cleaned the entire kitchen and vacuumed, which made me feel so much better! I am happy to hear you have the cleaning lady and its also a little company for you on the day she comes. That human contact is important early on

Yesterday I put on my make up and made myself look and feel nice.

Yes! I don't mention this often, but it made me feel so much better to do the same. It's certainly not uplifting to catch a look of your pale face and bed head staring back at you from the bathroom mirror when you're feeling down. After four days I did get back into a routine of applying minimal make up and blow drying my hair to feel better. It worked!

I hope today feels brighter. Happy Thursday!

 

[Merrimay]

Hi @PhilippaC, wow, you're doing a great job distracting yourself! When the makeup goes back on, it's a statement: here I come, world!

Thank you for asking about my progress. I'm happy to report that I'm now at 14 weeks and doing well At 5 weeks, I was depressed, at 6 weeks I was angry because I'd heard that by then I'd be scaling the Matterhorn, and then at 7 weeks, a miracle happened-- my lack of energy and brain fog lifted. I began to take long walks with my dog and drive myself everywhere. The usual household chores were attended to effortlessly.

At some point, around week 9, I think, I developed demoralizing lower back pain at my nonoperative hip. Fortunately, an SI injection plus 6 weeks of dry needling and pressure point therapy wth some added exercises took care of that.

Today I can look back and realize what a blessing THR has been for me. I was truly disabled when I went into surgery, and now I am totally independent and mobile. Best of all, I live without pain now.. (Knock on wood. ) My main focus now is on Not Overdoing. If I do, and I do sometimes, I rest, ice, and elevate.

So I know you're a bit behind me on the road to recovery, but I can promise you that what you're experiencing is normal, and, from the sound of it, you're in better shape than I was at week 5! Bravo! Keep up the good work!

 

[PhilippaC]

Update

It was so helpful to be here and get your support at the beginning of week 5 when I had a really tough moment and a bit of a melt down. In fact I felt much better almost immediately to see that I was not alone.
Thanks you!

I'm now into week 6. Dressing has got a bit easier and I am able to walk around the house ok with one stick and occasionally with none. I go out everyday for a short walk, with two sticks..still not very far but I try to extend the length of it a bit every day. The hip area feels a bit tight and slightly achy if I move around too much. I've been able to sleep on the operated hip side without pain these last two nights.That has made a big difference. I didn't really sleep that well when I had to be on my back...like many others on here! And I'll no longer need to inject myself every night with the blood thinners. It was pain free but I didn't much like doing it!

Everyday things can still a bit of an effort but I make myself do them. Showering, laundry, dishes, a bit of cooking etc. It would be so easy to just go back to bed for the day!!! I do still have a nap after lunchtime, something I never did pre-op.

I don't think I can watch any more movies!!! I'm now just getting through the days until the end of this week when I will get 'the great escape' i.e. I'll be able to get back into my car and drive.YAY!! I have felt like a prisoner some of the time and I have had to put in a lot of mental effort to stay buoyant.

The things that helped were calling friends, making gratitude lists, asking people over and asking for bits of help and not letting my mind wander into 'catastrophic thinking'.

I'm wishing everyone a good recovery and remember to share if you are feeling grim, it does help a lot!

 

[Newhip_Pol]

Hi @PhilippaC,
I can confirm the sense of escape and freedom once you can get in the car and drive again. It's not that I use it everyday but just knowing that I can gives me a great sense of independence!
It sounds as if you doing well, I can sleep on the non-op side but still struggle on the operated side.
Best wishes.

 

[CricketHip]

Reading through your thread and loving the title of "The Great Escape" ! That's great.
Glad you are feeling a bit better and oh how I love seeing the support and stories that came from your post.

You are getting closer and closer to independence @PhilippaC

 

[myglasshalffull]

Oh yes, the great car escape! Freedom!!!
Sounds like you are doing so much better, happy for you.

 

[Layla]

The things that helped were calling friends, making gratitude lists, asking people over and asking for bits of help and not letting my mind wander into 'catastrophic thinking'.

I love this! Reading "making gratitude lists" warms my heart. I also loved the way you "reached out" to others by calling them, inviting them over, asking for help. It's easy for some of us to fall into a rut of thinking nobody is calling, or stopping by, no one cares. Not allowing that catastrophic thinking to get a foothold is key also. It is so easy to allow our minds to wander to the" bad place" when we're tired, in pain, feeling lonely and it seems you made the decision there was going to be none of that. You're inspirational, Philippa! I love your update. Thanks for taking the time to share. Let us know how this -> goes.
Happy Tuesday!

 

[Sukuma]

Hi,

I am just a few days ahead of you in recovery. I could really relate to what you are saying. It's a bit different as I have my long suffering partner who is with me at every step of the journey and recently I would have really struggled if I had been on my own. In reality the recovery is going as expected, which at the start I was bouncing up and down given that my leg is now able to do things that it just couldn't do before the op. After a couple of weeks, I then started to feel a little stir crazy, not able to drive, to get out and about, fed-up with being in four walls, plus starting to feel very despondant about my leg length discrepancy. My energy levels dropped (compounded by the lack of sleep) and despite constantly reminding myself there will be low times, there were a couple of moments when I felt despair and panicy that I had aged before my time, life wouldn't get back to normal and how the heck did I end up with one leg longer than the other at the grand age of 57? I must have been driving my partner up the wall as I moaned about lurching about the house on uneven legs feeling sorry for myself.

We went out with my neighbors for a drink, fell about laughing and all those internal negative feelings flew off into the distance. It's so easy when when you are alone and not interacting with other people on a regular basis to fall into negative thinking - despite however good a reason it is. It's incredibly frustrating not being able to drive the car, take my lovely dogs out for the their daily walk and in effect to have your life on hold.

I am doing an online course that has helped. It has also helped to have a daily routine, so that when a specific time comes, I have set myself an activity that I have to do. This really helps me to focus on achievements throughout the day, rather than just lying in bed. I tend to be a very displined person anyway, planning stuff, but I have found that this helps - if I feel low, I still do whatever activity I had planned to do, despite lack of enthuasiasm which helps to bring my mind back to reality.

I also get in touch with some friends on an occassional basis for a chat, but not to much as I want to have something to talk to them about. I also reach out to my partner's grown up kids. I have to tell them when I want a support chat or a visit, as they don't know what to do that will help. It's easy to assume that others will do what you want - but if you don't tell them what it is you need, they don't know , so it can be easily misunderstood that they don't care, which most likely isn't the case, more likely that they don't know what support you need or are just absorbed in something else. I found myself falling into this trap, feeling miserable because someone hadn't texted or called as someone else said 'catastrophic thinking'. It's so easy to do. Normally I don't have this issue, but have found in the past couple of weeks, I easily find my way into that over thinking and over reaction, bursting into tears which just isn't like me AT ALL! Really what I need to do , is just reached out to the person, then within a couple of hours I was having a good giggle with that person as they asked if I wanted a visitor, then leaped in the car to come and see me.

Healing is challenging particularly when it takes time and you can't engage with life as you normally do, so have to find other ways to do things or ask others to come to you. Some of us don't like to ask, not used to asking, don't want to ask as very independant and so on, despite friends and family constantly saying let us know what we can do - we forget those words when nothing happens and those friends haven't actually been told what they can do.!

 

[PhilippaC]

I've now completed week 6 and am all set to drive in a couple of days. My mood has been variable but mostly ok. Boredom has been the main enemy! And some frustration.. I have a really exciting project I want to do but can't start yet.

My hip feels tight still and gets a deep throb easily. I think I haven't done enough of the PT exercises but don't want to now rush at doing too many and getting into a painful situation. I've been washing clothes, cooking, putting away my online shopping etc but I don't feel ready to get into shops and walk around them.

I've been walking around my neighbourhood with 2 sticks and that has been for quite short distances because my hip got sore. I'm walking around the house with one stick easily and make a point of just walking from room to room to get the exercise in. Not sure if I should be extending the time for walking outside even though it gets a bit sore? I am wondering if I am being over protective? Any advice please?

 

[myglasshalffull]

I say if it starts to hurt take a rest. You don't have to complete all your walking in one session, possibly break it up over a few smaller periods of time during the day.
My primary doctor told me it's better to walk 10 minutes several times per day rather than trying to do 1/2 hour all at once.
I also walked around the house in the beginning months, I'd go around my dining room table 10 times, then switch directions! LOL!
I know for sure I'm still very protective of my hip, I don't want to fall again.
If you can drive going to a small store that has shopping carts is another good way to get some walking in but only do it if you feel up to it. Eman turned me on to shopping carts and it's a great activity and breaks up the boredom for sure.
Happy weekend.

 

[Neecey]

Great thread! I too am feeling very isolated after a rare complication after my TKR (not hip) that put me in an immobilizer two weeks after surgery. I’ve been in this “straight-jacket” for going on 4 weeks now and am so worried I’ll never walk normally again. It’s so hard reading about all the successful surgeries and knowing I’m in the 1% of complications category. I had thought by now (6 weeks after TKR) I’d at least be driving by now but I can barely walk in this immobilizer. I haven’t found one similar case to compare notes with yet.
ANYhoo…..I hope to read through every one of these suggestions for some ideas. Thanks for starting this thread.

 

[PhilippaC]

Great thread! I too am feeling very isolated after a rare complication after my TKR (not hip) that put me in an immobilizer two weeks after surgery. I’ve been in this “straight-jacket” for going on 4 weeks now and am so worried I’ll never walk normally again. It’s so hard reading about all the successful surgeries and knowing I’m in the 1% of complications category. I had thought by now (6 weeks after TKR) I’d at least be driving by now but I can barely walk in this immobilizer. I haven’t found one similar case to compare notes with yet.
ANYhoo…..I hope to read through every one of these suggestions for some ideas. Thanks for starting this thread.

I'm sorry to hear that you have complications. It sounds grim. Can you get in touch with your surgeon and discuss your worries with him/her. Also just keep talking it out with friends and family. I think when on ones own so much it's really easy to get low and worry and go inward. Reaching out as you have done here really helps. I was so grateful to the people here who sent me supportive messages. You are not alone.

Time goes by slowly when you are unable to do much and I still find my mind can get overactive and go down negative routes and I have to be careful of that. Whilst these operations are very routine I need to remember that it's unrealistic to have been through major surgery and there not be a recovery process to get through.

I've noticed that we all are unique and the healing process is so very different for each of us, so I try not to compare. I think the fear of not being able to walk again is so common and understandable when our bodies are healing and just not able to move much yet. I'm sending you a big hug.

 

[PhilippaC]

I say if it starts to hurt take a rest. You don't have to complete all your walking in one session, possibly break it up over a few smaller periods of time during the day.
My primary doctor told me it's better to walk 10 minutes several times per day rather than trying to do 1/2 hour all at once.
I also walked around the house in the beginning months, I'd go around my dining room table 10 times, then switch directions! LOL!
I know for sure I'm still very protective of my hip, I don't want to fall again.
If you can drive going to a small store that has shopping carts is another good way to get some walking in but only do it if you feel up to it. Eman turned me on to shopping carts and it's a great activity and breaks up the boredom for sure.
Happy weekend.

That was so helpful myglasshalffull about just doing the 10 minutes of walking several times instead of a full 1/2 hour. That's what I've done today. Yes to a small shop and yes to holding on to the trolley! Many thanks.

 

[Merrimay]

I learned early on to break my walking goals into three sessions to help prevent or control the throbbing or next-day setbacks. I've since read that doing shorter multiple sessions instead of one long walk can keep the metabolism higher, tho I don't know if that's true. At almost five months, I'm still breaking each day's goals into three shorter sessions. On good days, I do all 3 sessions. On sorer days, I consider one or two sessions a job well done.

I've also noticed that 3 shorter sessions keep my mood more cheery than one long walk does.

 

[Newhip_Pol]

Hi @Merrimay,
Breaking down your walking goals into multiple sessions sounds like a great idea.

I'm still at the stage of walking about the house, getting up and down the stairs and short walks around the garden (when it isn't snowing) but I'll keep the multiple short sessions in mind as I hopefully increase activity over the next few weeks.