Expectations

[Uncivil]

I am working to schedule a left THR hopefully in October with a right THR in January. I am currently planning on taking three weeks off of work and returning light duty (mostly working from home) after that until I can resume normal duties. My husband seems to think that taking three weeks off work is excessive and that after a week I should be able to resume things like cooking meals and general chores. After reading on here that seems ambitious and I am already prone to be the one who tries to do too much too soon. I am a 44 year old female and have a daughter who is turning 12 in September. We are a very active family with 5 horses, two dogs, and two cats plus 20 acres to manage. I work a full time job plus own a part time business. I am trying to plan ahead and cook meals to put in the freezer and do my best to clear my part time business work load. I am very lucky to have a state job and an amazing boss who is letting me work from home once I am able.

Your thoughts and experiences would be greatly appreciated.

 

[kernsac]

I would not have been anywhere near ready for normal activity after just a week. I was doing pretty well after three weeks, but even then, I couldn’t do everything.

 

[mainegirl1]

Work after a week? No. Find acYou Tube video of a hip replacement and show hubby
Don't watch it yourself.
At three or four weeks you may be able to do most housekeeping but not after a week!
I am two days post and not doing much and nothing without help. And certainly no housework
Dont let your hubby set expectations but do set up lists for how your hubby and daughter can help you the first week. Then they will understand.

 

[Layla]

Hi,
Returning to work at three weeks, even from home is quite ambitious. We recommend a Phased Return at twelve weeks post op but understand that doesn't work for everyone for various reasons.
http://bonesmart.org/forum/threads/phased-return-to-work.5696/

I'm not sure what your husband is basing his assumptions on but they are unrealistic. You run the risk of sidelining your recovery if you overdo it early on, or the possibility of developing chronic pain issues if you push yourself. Check this out as a rough gauge of Activity Progression for THR - you may want to share with hubs -http://bonesmart.org/forum/threads/activity-progression-for-thrs.13187/

Your body will be put through a controlled trauma. Your flesh will be sliced, the knee most often manipulated aggressively in an effort to dislocate your hip. Muscles, tendons ligaments..soft tissue all disturbed. Then your bone is sawed and reamed out so a prosthetic can be hammered into place. Not something you recover from in a week, two, or even three. You'll still be in recovery and possibly more tired than normal when you experience your second surgery only three months post op.

Following is a video you may want to watch with your husband. I think it will give you both a better understanding of why THR recovery takes as long as it does.
http://bonesmart.org/forum/threads/thr-approaches-or-incisions.5428/

Wishing you comfort as you await your surgery date.
@Uncivil

 

[dapplega]

Depending on what "working from home" means, if your recovery is similar to mine you should be able to catch up on emails, support remote meetings, etc. from the 2-3 week mark. I often did that while icing in a recliner. I did not physically go into the office or drive until about the 6 week mark.

 

[Jaycey]

My husband seems to think that taking three weeks off work is excessive and that after a week I should be able to resume things like cooking meals and general chores.

Please remind your husband that this is major surgery! You will not have the energy to be doing chores in a week let alone cooking. And I really doubt you will be ready for even "light duty" work at 3 weeks.

Have a read around the hip recovery area. That will give you and your husband a better idea of the timeframe for this recovery.

 

[Uncivil]

Thank you everyone for the feedback. I am lucky that light duty is really emails, reviewing plans on my computer, phone calls and such. I am trying to achieve the october/january timeline so I can return to light field work come spring which is mainly driving to sites walking on uneven ground in and around streams and rivers.

I will show my husband the videos recommended and print out some of the other data @Layla recommended. I was a bit shocked at my husband this morning when we were talking about it as you can imagine.

I appreciate the support.

 

[Mojo333]

My husband seems to think that taking three weeks off work is excessive and that after a week I should be able to resume things like cooking meals and general chores.

Um, let me think...

No
Even if you could, doesn't mean you should.
That new hopefully forever hip will need babying.

 

[Ptarmigan]

@Uncivil You have an admirably active life, and you are relatively young; you can anticipate an excellent recovery, yet still need to keep in mind that no one can predict how long that might take or what unforeseen setbacks might occur. Maybe this will help you with a general idea: my surgeon told me I could anticipate I would be 50% recovered at 3 months, 70% recovered at 6 months, and 90% recovered at one year, with the last 10% coming imperceptibly over the second year.

Of all the responsibilities you mention, the thing that seems most unusual for a recovering hip patient is 5 horses. Do they live at home with you? (I am guessing yes, with 20 acres.) If so, does anyone outside the family help clean their stalls, feed them, exercise and/or turn them out, and groom them? The reason I ask is that equine chores are so much more physically demanding than housework or working from home, and it will be some time before your hip(s) are well enough healed and your balance/walking speed are equal to safely putting a horse on a lead line. Similarly, some hippies don’t walk their large dogs for a time post-op, because the result of jarring a new hip, getting tangled in a leash, or falling can be extremely serious, and these risks need to be minimized.

Your husband is starting out with rose colored glasses, but hopefully he’ll get an education soon, either here at BoneSmart, or from your doctors. In these threads, I see it’s a challenge to proceed slowly and steadily through recovery, so I hope he’ll soon embrace a more realistic idea about the scope of the surgery. It’s vital to understand that your approach to recovery can dictate the outcome of the surgery, and that recovery will be your primary job for some time. It seems likely that you’ll have to consider ways to temporarily redistribute the work you do at home as well as on the job, and consider how that might be done.

This is a lot to wrap your mind around, let alone educate your family members about. It’s good you have some time to think things through and adapt. Keep posting and keep reading - we’re here to brainstorm and here to support.

 

[mainegirl1]

@Ptarmigan yes! totally agree. Have friend with 1 horse and broken leg. That was hard enough on her.


@Uncivil it may help to take your hubby to doctors appointments.

 

[Steelmanpa]

You seem to be in a construction related field ( as I was for over 30 year as an HVAC Applications Engineer/designer/sales engineer) Your husband hopefully was joking...I was hoping for spring for a return to scuba diving 7 months after surgery..you are very ambitious, please exercise some caution on the timeline for site visits.... I have been on enough roofs, up enough ladders and enough jobsites at different points..listen to the doc, the PT if you have one post op and your body...

 

[Uncivil]

Yes I am an environmental engineer for my day job and structural engineer for my home business so probably work is the least of my concerns compared to farm life. Both my husband and daughter can help care for the animals for me. @Ptarmigan you are correct farm chores are very physical. We have a pretty good set up that minimizes the horse care so even my 11 year old can manage much of it. My husband has started coming to terms after a heart to heart. I am very active and really looking forward to riding again comfortably. I have pretty much stopped riding until surgery. The horses will get a good break over winter!

 

[Jamie]

I'm glad you were able to talk this over successfully with your husband. Recovery goes much easier if the entire family understands that this will be a fairly extended recovery and they will need to be available to take over some of the home chores for you until you can ease back into them. Having hips done back to back will mean even more time than if you just had one hip done. It's a time where you need to be prepared for the worst and then hopefully be pleasantly surprised if things go better than expected. Your body is 100% in charge of your healing. There is nothing you can do to "speed up recovery." But you most definitely can slow it down if you attempt to do activity or exercises before your body is ready.

You'll be fine. It sounds like you and the family are doing a good job of trying to plan ahead. Here is some additional information that may help you plan and get ready:

Making the decision whether or not to have surgery and preparing for surgery can be easier once you have done your research and know what lies ahead. Here are some tools that can help you decide what is best for you.

If you are at the stage where you have joint pain but don't know for sure if you are ready to have surgery, these links may help:

Score Chart: How bad is my arthritic hip?
Longevity of implants and revisions: How long will my new joint last?


If you are at the stage where you are planning to have surgery but are looking for information so you can be better prepared for what is to come, take a look at these links:

Recovery Aids: A comprehensive list for hospital and home
Recliner Chairs: Things you need to know if buying one for your recovery
Pre-Op Interviews: What's involved?


And if you want to picture what your life might be like with a replaced hip, take a look at the posts and threads from other BoneSmarties provided in this link:

Stories of amazing hip recoveries

 

[Ptarmigan]

“The horses will get a good break over the winter.” Isn’t that a great thing at the right time?

My daughter could have managed the horses, too, at the same age, although her other time commitments were always pressing. Are your horses companion animals, or are they athletic partners? Do you train them yourself?

I am happy to hear your husband is becoming aware of the bigger picture here. You’ve all got plenty of time to do your research and make your plans. I encourage you to start brainstorming about delegation outside your immediate family, too, as DH and DD will experience stresses and adjustments of their own, and will also benefit from sharing the temporary load more broadly.

 

[InkedMarie]

My thoughts? Bluntly, your husband needs to get a clue. You may have a very easy recovery; you may not.

Good luck!

 

[CricketHip]

Hello! First of all, I must comment on the horse in your avatar.. she/he is gorgeous! Western Pleasure?
Secondly, my husband tends to think I can handle anything, too. After this recent hip surgery he told a friend of mine that he helps where he can but he knows I like my independence.. well my independence occasionally was because I had no other choice! Overall, though, he did a great job caring for me.

I'm glad you were able to discuss this with him and give him a better and more realistic picture of the recovery process. You should have things set up where you return to work and any other other duties as you feel it's the right time, not because you feel pressured.. Speaking for myself, I am much more pleasant when I think my return to work was my own idea!
The main thought that keeps me taking things slow and easy is that I do not want tendonitis or some other chronic issue that stemmed from overdoing things too early in my recovery. That being said, my work is a bit physical and I was able to return to work this past week at 8 weeks post op. (only 2 hours the first day) It felt great and I felt great with no resulting soreness. I am incorporating Bonesmart's phased return schedule and will enjoy the lighter work days for the next 6 weeks or longer, if needed.

It will be interesting to hear when you get your surgery dates and to follow your recovery, you will have a great support group through this site.
@Uncivil

 

[Uncivil]

@CricketHip yes that is my horse Goodie he is an all around performance horse western pleasure hunter under saddle and such. We show quarter horses and my daughter shows 4h. As I write this I am at our county fair!

 

[Celle]

My husband seems to think that taking three weeks off work is excessive and that after a week I should be able to resume things like cooking meals and general chores. After reading on here that seems ambitious and I am already prone to be the one who tries to do too much too soon.

Your husband needs a wake-up call. Hip replacement is major surgery and complete recovery takes a full year. There's no way you'll be well enough to resume household duties after one week.
Show him these:
Activity progression for THRs

Chart representation of THR recovery

The BoneSmart Philosophy of Sensible Post-Op Therapy

Lose the Work Ethic

As for you, be prepared to let other people help you. This is your time and your hip needs you to not overdo things:
Nurturing mother: how to let go and accept help

 

[zauberflöte]

@Uncivil it sounds like DH will be amenable to your being "indisposed" for a good while longer than his original pie-in-the-sky estimate! You will really want to get out there and do horse stuff. Don't. Let somebody bring the horses to you and you stay in your stall (front porch rail or the like?) so you can love on them while somebody else keeps them out of your lap. Oops wrong animal.

With my first hip sitting was so uncomfortable for well over 5 weeks, and I was sooooo tired I could not possible stand still for even half an hour, that I didn't contemplate working for over 2 months, by which time my brain was also returning. Since I'm self employed, I could set my schedule to accommodate.

Second hip was completely different, the piriformis on that side was not giving trouble although the right has continued to, my brains didn't go far for long, and I was less tired, since all those things, I was back with my flute happily somewhere between weeks 2 and 3. But I didn't have to keep working beyond my endurance. Some light email, setting up gigs, paying bills etc, an amount of VERY light housework which astounded me, but #1 had been nothing like that. So as somebody up there said, expect the worst extreme and be pleasantly surprised if you get something easier.

I do envy you getting both done so close together, though. My second was ready enough for me a year after the first, but OS said it wouldn't pass muster for insurance to pay. He ok'd it at 3 years, and then I had to reschedule twice so there's a 4 year gap between the two, during which I got less than 6 months of normal-ish activity level. However, here I am at 6 and 2 years out respectively, taking 4 barre classes a week, and both hips continue to just get better and better. Definitely a happy camper