Lounge Doctor

Mom of 2 looking for guidance

Hi hope you are making a good recovery. My hospital supplies the raised seat for the toilet (non returnable thankfully) and 2 crutches but has said to get a couple of grabber (1 for upstairs and 1 for down) also a lady told be to get 3 crutches so that I can leave one upstairs apparently you only use one to go upstairs but 2 once you get there. One to come down but 2 to get about. She also said it's hard to carry the spare one upstairs unless someone does it for you.
 
I asked my OS if I needed a raised toilet seat and he said no. Our toilet seat is about 2 inches higher than most and I didn’t get the raised seat. As it turns out, I really didn’t need it either. I’m sure it might have been a bit more comfortable getting up and down but I managed. It really is something that is very short term. You’ll be surprised at how quickly recovery can progress. If you feel you need one, you might want to check with your OS office or the hospital to see if they provide them at checkout.

I, too, am short - about 5’2’. My surgery was end of April and it is still fairly cool here in northern NY state st that time so I got a couple pair of sweatpants at Walmart in a size larger than I’d normally get. If I remember correctly, they were only about $7 a pair but they felt so good - soft and warm. I did wear a nightgown the first couple days but then wanted to get dressed so I’d feel like I was getting better. Mentally getting dressed was a good thing.

Pain meds vary a lot from one person to another. You pretty much need to follow your drs instructions and then cut back as you feel you don’t need them. I was very fortunate and it didn’t take very many days before I was taking only Extra Strength Tylenol.

The only “tool” I purchased was a dressing stick from Amazon and that was a big help getting dressed and undressed initially. Oh, and I did also purchase some of the gel ice packs so there was always one ready in the freezer. I pretty much used them most of the day the first couple of weeks.
 
So it's three weeks until my LTHR and I'm starting to get excited/anxious/nervous/scared. I'm excited to finally be able to get my life back; anxious about dealing with two small children post-surgery; and nervous/scared about the pain and discomfort of recovery. It was only 8 short months ago that I gave birth to my second child (naturally, I might add), so I'm no stranger to pain and patience. I keep reminding myself that it took about 3 months to recover from childbirth, and I can easily make it that long after my hip. Having read a bunch of posts on this site, I know that these are all just normal feelings and that the buildup is worse than the reality. I'm just glad I found you all -- I know after having kids how important it is to have a network of people who have been through it before.

Today I donated blood for my surgery. And for the next three weeks I've got a full schedule of getting my life into order before I'm out of commission for a while. That means doctor's appointments, dentist, eye doctor, home repairs, purging closets, cleaning the garage, buying patio furniture so I'm not stuck inside all the time, and finishing up a project at work. Feels like the clock is ticking... Not long until I can kick this terrible pain and focus on healing. That's something I can definitely look forward to.
 
LAbabymama said:
Not long until I can kick this terrible pain and focus on healing. That's something I can definitely look forward to.
Click to expand...
Getting rid of that neverending pain is worth all of it.
You have lots of folks here to cheer you on.
 
Gosh you are organised... it will be great when your pain has gone & you can get on with your life again... you’ve got this!! Everyone at BS is watching & waiting for your splendid recovery xxxx


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That is a huge to do list for 3 weeks, especially since it sounds like you work plus have the 2 small kids. You might consider shortening the list a bit and spending the time with the kids. In your time together you can explain what will be coming and how they can help. Even let them role play now so they understand, especially the older one. That way you are calm, the kids don’t get any big surprises,etc. I mean cleaning the garage could wait for a couple months more and it will still be there waiting to be cleaned up. Same goes for the closets. You don’t want to run yourself down and get exhausted as you may end up getting sick yourself prior to your surgery plus your body would be better very well rested when you head in for your surgery. Just a couple of my thoughts but felt I should pass them on. Wishing you well....
 
That is a very long list and doesn't include day to day things that just happen out of your control like a sick 4 year old or a teething baby. Consider reducing that to Dr.'s appointments, dentist and buying the absolutely necessary patio furniture. Your eyes are unlikely to change much over the next 4-6 months and the garage and closests can wait. Closets might be something your mom can do with you while there as she won't have all her normal activities with her. Accept that not all will be perfect and doesn't need to be. Your analogy to childbirth recovery is a good one and I would agree, at least for the two I had in my 30's.
I wonder if you have any in-laws or aunts & uncles to take at least the 4 year old on a day outing (zoo or science centre) on your coming home day. It's a stressful, tiring day and as you get settled you might let out a few "squeaks" that your older one could find concerning. Sounds odd but best to let the kids see once you are settled in your chair or bed like many of us do with our pets.
 
Yes @GrannyC, maybe I am attempting to take on too much. As the primary caregiver for my entire family, it's hard to let go of my "to-do" list. Thankfully I work from home, so my work load is only as heavy as I want to make it. I feel I have to get all these things done because I'm not sure how long it'll be before I'm able to do it all again. But you're right that a lot of this can wait. My biggest fear is getting sick in the next three weeks and having to postpone my surgery. Thanks to the pain I'm not really sleeping well these days, so I'm certainly in danger of catching something. I'll try to take it a little slower.

@Carriemay60 we don't have much family in town to help with the kids. But we did just hire a nanny starting last week. She'll be helping with the kids during the day. My oldest is in preschool and I hope that when I come home from the hospital she'll be at school. My surgery is on a Wednesday, so I imagine I'll be home either Thursday or Friday. I'm most worried about my oldest seeing me in a lot of discomfort that first weekend home. I've already arranged for her to have a playdate with friends on Saturday and I've enlisted another friend to help out on Sunday. I think it'll be impossible to avoid her seeing mommy in pain, but she's a bright kid and I think she can handle it.

It's amazing how quickly the big day comes upon you. I'm still not sure what exactly I should get in advance for my recovery. I called my OS's office and asked about recovery aids and they said that everything is taken care of when I leave the hospital. But that feels last-minute to me. Are there any things you think I should already have set up and waiting at home? Like the toilet riser, for example? Funny, but I'm most apprehensive about using the bathroom post-surgery. I have RA in all of my joints (including my wrists) and it might be difficult for me to get up and down, even with leverage.

I'm also worried about having a massive flare up post-surgery. I've been off of all my meds since conceiving my 8-month-old and my arthritis has gotten pretty bad. I hope I can get back on my meds soon after surgery - but I know that some of the medications increase my chances of developing an infection in the new joint. Does anyone have any experience with DMARDs after THR? My OS is not very helpful in this regard. He's impossible to get on the phone (as he's in such high demand) and his PA said I should talk to my rheumatologist. I'm seeing her today, so we'll see what she says. I suspect she's going to want me to start taking Tramadol for my current pain, but I really want to hold off on narcotics until after the surgery for maximum effect.

Anyway, I appreciate all your support and advice. Hope you all have a wonderful pain-free day.
 
Yes, have your toilet sorted and have something ready as a leg lifter. My guys did the raised toilet seat before I got home which I think wise as your husband may find it fiddly the first time he learns how to install it. I have had RA almost 40 years and affects every joint in my body. I have had to stop all RA medications for 2 months prior to surgery and can't add them back until one month post-op. The walker and using my arms and wrists for leverage is a challenge but somehow manage. I don't have to push too hard on the toilet seat arms as long as feet are touching the ground. I am short so can only touch with my toes until I inch forward. (I have a stick to move a cookie tin, of all things, into position while seated so my legs are supported and then can remove it with the stick before starting to stand) The cookie tin was chosen because it is light enough to move myself once on the toilet. Although I know some people use something a little more fixed for their feet, I think that is dangerous and don't want it near my feet when I am on the move. From experience I know my wrists will flare worse as I walk more so I must concentrate on taking a little more weight on my leg. I have no weight bearing restrictions this time. Last time I was limited to 50% and still in a full leg cast.
I bought travel sized deodorant, my face cream, face wipes etc and keep a little case with those things and hair ties, etc. all in one place and handy to save asking for things constantly so you may want to think of that kind of prep now. I use baby wipes to freshen up as soon as I get out of bed but I am sure you have ample supply of those. With the kids to cater to, your husband will not always be at the ready so try to use a critical eye in preparing your personal needs. You could think about different categories of things in different little bags and putting coloured tags on them. Then you can ask your older one to bring you the "green bag" to save your husband the odd job.
 
My OS said I wouldn’t need raised toilet seat so I didn’t get one. Our seat is actually about 2 inches higher than many are so I thought I’d give it and try and it was fine.

You may be underestimating what your oldest can handle. As I said earlier, you should explain as much as possible to her ahead of time. Let her know you are going to the hospital and dr will give you a new hip (or whatever word she uses for that body part). Let her know you will have to spend the night there and then you can come home you will have to stay quiet for a few days. Let her know you will be sore in that area so she won’t be able to jump on your lap for a few days (I don’t think you need to get too specific about the time frame but that is only my thought). Maybe compare it to when she gets a scrape and needs a bandaid except yours will be bigger. Then remind her she may need to be the big girl in the house for s bit and help you out. Luckily I didn’t find I was in much pain when I came home but everyone is different. You don’t need to assume you will be in a lot of pain. My personal thought though is that you keep your daughter informed about things in general. No need to go into great detail but just so she knows what is going to happen and what you expect from her. She will be a huge help. Sending positive wishes your way.
 
Welcome to BoneSmart @LAbabymama You sound so on top of things! Three things that have helped me be mostly self sufficient.
  • Grabber on Amazon. Ended up buying 2, one for each floor. Could dress myself pretty easily.
  • Shower bench. Lifesaver. I have set at highest setting, use it as a “walker” in the shower. Very stable. We bought at medical supply store.
  • Web yoga belt. Used a lot first 10 days to move my leg off pillow, or in and out of bed.
Final thoughts. Clothes, by far for me I like easy pull over head dresses. It’s warm here already and it’s also easier with potty trips. I do think a riser seat is key, more for handles. Very stable and with your wound you will want easy as possible. Best of luck to you! ❤️​
 
I am so glad I found your thread!
I had a partial knee replacement when my son was 3 (and still in a crib), a full TKR when he was 5, and now I am having a bilateral THR with a 7 yr old on Monday!

Everyone here has reminded me over and over how helpful my son will be and how it will make him feel good about himself. It's so true. We are picking out movies to watch together and what games we can play in my bed, etc. Going to start reading him Harry Potter too!

I had a nanny during the first two surgeries and it was amazing. Made life so much easier for my husband and alleviated a lot of my guilt - my son got lots of focused attention (and probably too much ice cream)!

It's a crazy journey to be on with young kids, but think of how sweet it will be on the other side :)
 
Thanks everyone! If you can’t tell, I’m a bit of a planner and preparer. It’s so tough to just give myself over to the unknown and trust that everything will work out fine. @GrannyC I think you’re right about my daughter - she’ll probably be a bigger help than I’m imagining. I’ve already told her a lot of what’s going to happen (mommy’s getting a new hip so we can play together again) and she’s eager to help me when I get home. She keeps saying she wants to bring me food in bed. Super sweet.

@JennyLynne I’ve read your thread and was wondering how you made it through your knee surgery with a little one. Didn’t realize it was two surgeries! And now a bilateral! You are a superwoman. My daughter and I are also planning lots of movies and reading in bed. I think if I can just get through the first couple of weeks it’ll be fairly smooth sailing. And the nanny will be a huge help. It was so hard hiring a nanny because we’ve always relied on daycare and taken care of ourselves. And the nanny is soooo expensive. But I know it’s a necessity. And already she’s taken a lot of weight (both literal and figurative) off me. My 8-month-old loves her, so that’s a huge relief. Anyway, I hope your surgery goes well - I’ll be anxious to read your recovery thread. Sending positive thoughts for the big day!
 
@LAbabymama - with my TKR, the first 2 to 3 weeks were tough and then I flew through recovery. Once I was able to get out of the house more easily and slowly start doing "normal" stuff, it became very clear how much better life would be on the other side of it.

The cost of a nanny is a tough pill to swallow but the right nanny becomes this extension of your family and money so well spent. Of course, some days you will have to remind yourself of that! Our former nanny is still very close to us and will be picking my son up from school on surgery day. (And then she will leave dishes in the sink and I will want to strangle her and THEN I will remember how much she has helped...lol!)
 
@JennyLynne I hope things fly after the first 2-3 weeks of my recovery. When you have small children, a few weeks seems like nothing, right? So far our nanny has been a big help and I can see getting used to having her around. I do plan to go back to work when I’m recovered, and that’s when she’ll really be a lifesaver. Let me know how your surgery goes. Thinking good thoughts for you and your son!
 
It's me again... only two weeks until the big day. The pain is becoming unbearable. I sure do miss that ibuprofen. I'm trying to stay away from anything stronger than tylenol before the surgery. Want those heavy meds to be as effective as they can be. Other than icing, does anyone have any advice on how I can manage the pain over the next two weeks? It's getting more difficult to put weight on my bad leg and I've been relying on my cane a lot more. Also sleep is fleeting. I know some of you are in the UK (not sure what the laws are there), but is anyone familiar with CBD for pain? I'm in California where it's legal. My dad's been using it during cancer treatment and I've heard it could help me get a good night's sleep. Just wondering if anyone here has any firsthand experience...
 
Hi @LAbabymama

I read online that CBD oil + melatonin are the magic bullet for sleep, and I totally agree!

CBD oil is legal where I live too.

I take ~30 mg of CBD oil tincture under my tongue, let it sit for a couple of minutes, and then take a 3 mg dissolvable melatonin tablet.

These two oils/tablets have made all the difference in my sleep. I almost can’t believe they’re helping so much - seems like a miracle. Been using them for a bit over a month.
 
Thanks @ebungalow! Do you know if the CBD oil tincture you're using has any THC in it? I've heard there are specific ratios for different levels of pain. Just waiting to hear back from my OS whether this is safe before surgery. According to my rheumy there's no increased risk of bleeding with CBD. I hope she's right. Would love to get some sleep.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
I have heard both sides in terms of it working. All is now legal in Canada. Personally I'm not interested but it might be worth a try for you!
 
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