Happy spring y’all... a bit of a long post but...
So I have been going about my days trying to figure out where exactly I’m going with things. Sorta just rambling and seeing what I can and can’t do as I was asked to make a “wish list” by my pt and my return to work coordinator.
On it appeared the most simple, seemingly dumb things like:
Be able to get into the front seat of anyone’s car but ours
Sleep on my stomach like I have my whole life
Shower without needing my tub slide seat
Kneel down on one knee proposal style which I need for my photography
Go back to work and be productive and needed and provide for my family.
Sleep in the same bed as hubs again (haven't since surgery day)
Go back to my volunteering
Walk - just walk as normal and far as possible
... you get the idea I’m sure?
She took the list and said “so let’s go try them”. Out to the clinic lot with her car keys. She has a Mazda. Fail. Not enough bend to fold my long legs in
Not a good start.
Going in she said “front entrance please” 10 stairs. I went up them no cane. Foot over foot. Slow. Clunky but
Reached the top to discover her still below. She smiled and motioned to come back down. 10 steps. No cane. Foot over foot. Verrrrry slow. Awkward but
Then back up. By now my leg was shaking from exhaustion.
Got inside and she took me into an exam room and handed me the clinic’s camera they use and asked me to kneel using the bed on my left side. Camera in right hand. I had to step out so far with the right but down I went slowly and it was a bit painful at first with the stretch but. It was glorious seeing the world from down there again. Then I had to get up. Then down. Then up. Camera never left my right. Left on the bed.
I was sitting on a treatment table then wiping the happy tears and resting my foot on a stability ball. She smiled and said “don’t move!” And pulled out the dreaded goniometer to measure.
91
I didn’t even get past 85 in hospital right after surgery. My hip was screaming with the subluxation. My knee was swelling before our eyes and I was at 91.
She wrapped up session right then saying we were stopping on a high note but she knew what we had to do now. Long ice and tens and impromptu massage appt with my rmt
I came home and high on adrenaline took a shower - standing the whole time. I got out on my own stepping over the tub edge to find hubs standing there leaning on my dry shower seat in the corner all teary eyed.
I needed this so badly. More than anyone will ever know. The past 3 weeks have been horrendous for our family and I desperately needed something positive to cling to and keep me going.
It took me 3 days to recover and I’m still walking a bit stiff legged but....
I celebrated by using my savings to buy my dream camera and lens. It’s my motivation now to get out there and use it a bit more each day.
Sometimes you have to throw yourself your own lifesaver I think.
Looking forward to Thursday’s appt now.