THR Taking a big risk by posting

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KathyD

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Right total hip replacement March 1, 2017. I am taking a very big risk by posting a thread but I really need some support. this is a big step for me because
1) I very rarely do things like this
2) the one time I did post before surgery I commented that I was having an anterior approach and hoped to be hiking in 6 months and got chastised for this by one of the moderators.
3) I am still having a hard time accepting that a large piece of me was taken out, by my choice, and replaced with something artificial. This is something that I suppressed because nobody else ever mentioned anything like this and I was supposed to be so happy that my bad hip was gone and a good one put in. But I woke up from surgery crying hysterically and saying "It's gone! It's gone!" When I calmed down I tried to pass it off to the nursing staff as a side effect of anesthesia. Now I deal with it by trying not to think about it.
4) I am a doctor. Doctors are supposed to be totally cool with all this stuff. We take care of people, not the other way around. And we make tons of money so if I mention that I had to go back to work after 4.5 weeks for financial reasons, there is something wrong with me, right? ( Did I mention that I got a phone call on day 11 telling me that my clinic was being closed on April 28th and I had to find a new job?)
But here's the deal. I have chronic dysthymia or low grade depression, partially treated with medication and counseling. But add the typical post THR depression on top of that and I am a real mess. I am exhausted. My husband was fantastic for the first 4 weeks after surgery (until my son had an emergency appy) and then his interest waned. The only reason I do my exercises every day is because I read somewhere that people with pre-existing depression do worse after THR and, dammit, that is not going to be me.
So, I am afraid to see if anyone will respond to this. The big risk is going to be to click the "create thread" icon which I am going to do right not before I can stop myself
 
Kathy I think it's very brave of you to reach out. I have had fantastic support on this forum when I was low or frustrated or scared. It's a big old operation and I agree that it's very strange to replace a part of your body with something artificial. I think about that too. However what I also think is that it's a tried and tested operation with fantastic results generally and an increased quality of life. I am lucky as I do not generally feel depressed but I did feel very very depressed in the year leading up to my op. Denial that I needed it done at 51. An active person who enjoys skiing dog walking and surfing. I was so worried about being able to do these things with an artificial hip. However the grim reality of the situation was that I was unable to do them with my degrading hip. In fact my quality of life leading up to the op was poor and I was in constant pain. I am now meds free and only the odd ache when I do too much at 8 weeks so I understand now what my surgeon was explaining. I also felt pretty low at times post op as wanted things to move a little faster etc. I think family members and friends can be great to begin with but it's a long haul that only a fellow "hippy" understands. Don't beat yourself up. Take it week by week. You are well on the road to recovery. I was told I could do most things bar bunjee jumping and high impact sports which means I can ski, surf etc again without pain. Acknowledge that you have a new "part" or "parts" but accept that they will enable you to have a good quality of life going forward. Exercise (walking outside) was key to my wellbeing in my recovery and still is.
Take care and sending you hugs.
Sam xx


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No risk @KathyD ! We are here to support you. I am very glad you started your own thread.
I commented that I was having an anterior approach and hoped to be hiking in 6 months and got chastised for this by one of the moderators.
I don't think you got chastised. As I posted on that other thread, we see so many members disappointed and depressed when they don't meet what can be very unrealistic targets for healing. It would be great if you can meet this milestone. But based on my own experience (and not any medical opinion as I am not a medic) hiking at 6 months out may be a stretch.

Your concern about losing your hip to an implant is something we see here. Did you get a good look at your hip x-ray before your op? Before having both my THRs I asked to see the x-ray. Especially before my first THR, I too mourned the loss of my hip. But one look at the x-ray and I knew I was doing the right thing. The x-ray was downright ugly! The joint had collapsed and there was little left. That coupled with intense pain - well there was only one way forward.

Have you discussed this loss issue with your counsellor?
I am a doctor. Doctors are supposed to be totally cool with all this stuff. We take care of people, not the other way around.
Big respect for you my friend! If it helps, I have heard this from more than one orthopaedic doc. They are very aggressive and confident when they are doing their job. They have to be this way to do what they do everyday. But when the tables are turned it's a very different story. They are humbled by what it takes to recover from the procedure they perform everyday. And many say the experience has made them better at their job.

Are you working full time now? No wonder you are exhausted and stressed! Sounds like you were not given the time to fully heal. Are you in pain as well?
I read somewhere that people with pre-existing depression do worse after THR
Not sure where you read this but I really don't think this is the case. If it were me, I would stop all the exercising. Save that energy for the demands of your job. Hips don't really need lots of exercise.

Stick with us here. We will support you through this and do understand your concerns!
 
Hi Kat, I started running latter in life up to five miles a day seven days a week. Minimal anterior left hip/groin pain developed. Figured some sort of itis just not arthritis. The now ex made me see an ortho as the left knee loudly clicked after running but no pain. When I mentioned this to the pa he tried to internally rotate the left hip and it would not do it. I freaked when the xr showed bilateral cam impingement with bone on bone left hip. Md said no more touch football or running. I was in total denial and ran the next day and played a "friendly" Er touch football game. Well totally destroyed the hip and did not sleep for months due to the pain. Enough percs to kill the pain would leave me drooling and itchy all night. I had full access to pub med and read and read and even looked at patient testimonials.

I was the guy who freaked when the dentist told me he could "save " a tooth by root canal. I begged him to not "kill" it! At last he convinced me that the only option was to do so, I got used to it. With the hip, the constant pain and limping made me accept the need for surgery. It helped me mentally to think of it this way, since I was part of the miracle of modern medicine (ex paramedic and pa in an Er) I could accept being a beneficiary of it. 8 1/2 years latter doing great. You may very well hike much earlier than six months, I being the idiot that I am went bike riding at three weeks. Give it time. You will adjust to the new normal which you will find not bad at all! alan
 
Hi @KathyD what you're feeling is very normal! At a younger age you needed a new hip, it was likely unexpected, and regardless of how anterior thrs are marketed, it's still a major surgery. I had two back to back anterior thrs and it occurred to me that a quiet or depressive state early on makes sense. Last thing a body needs is to be running around like the energizer bunny :happydance: when it wants to be sedentary.

I flipped out at the prospect of needing thrs at a younger age, it was a rude awakening! Like so many here, I took excellent care of myself, lived a clean and busy life, worked out -two thrs most def were not on my agenda! I compare it to getting a root canal or dental implant. Glad for the procedure but pained that *my* body part was on the chopping block. I didn't want anything artificial anything inside me but excruciating pain can be very persuasive!

Have no idea why, but when "life happens" other things tend to go wrong at the exact same time, incredibly frustrating and stressful. I'm sorry to hear about your clinic closing. I too am dealing with job issues, my employer could barely deal with one thr but the second one caused problems. Argh!

My post op mantra is new hips, new life :SUNsmile:

Lastly, people close to us often get frustrated with our recoveries, we look fine, walk better but they cannot know or grasp the enormity and emotional impact thrs can have on us. This is how many discovered BS, it's reaffirming to read others' experiences and gratifying when they successfully move on and reclaim their full lives.

As a doctor you have undertaken great responsibility, you are also human and it must feel strange to be on the patient side. There is no shame in asking for or accepting help -or in limiting your output during recovery. If ever there was a "me" time, this is it!

Give yourself a big pat on the back, you will get through this :)
 
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Hi @KathyD, I can totally relate to your post. I think what you are feeling is totally normal. Having your hip replaced is a major life event. The nice thing is, it heals your pain, and things get better with time. I had both of my hips replaced over a year and a half ago, and most of the time I don't even feel them anymore. It's amazing to me how well they have healed.

I wasn't prepared for the depression, and it threw me for a loop. In my case, a lot of it was grief. I had to change careers and look for different work after having my hips done. That was a big transition. It is difficult if you are feeling pressure financially. Things seem to work out for everyone here, but often there are some big life changes.

I also felt freaked out at having artificial hips, but now I am just grateful. At first they felt like two guns inside of me. Once the bone growth happened, and the tissues healed, they became like healthy transplanted plants. Now I love them. They feel invisible.

I think your desire to go hiking after six months is very doable, depending on how you feel. I remember my first hike. I can't remember how long it was after my surgery, but I went for three miles on flat ground. It felt great. (It's on my thread somewhere.) I'm pretty sure it was at less than six months. That sounds like a reasonable goal to me.

I think you're doing really well. Hopefully you will meet some people here who can help you through this time. That's what happened for me, and the support was invaluable. Keep up the great work.
 
Hi Kathy. We all process these things in our own way, and there is no "right" way. I had my hip replacement a little over a year ago. I had high expectations, exacerbated by the doctor's very different definition of recovery (the point at which it has healed enough to be unlikely to dislocate, about 6 months) and mine (ready to resume all activities). I was told it would be OK to get back on the horse in 6 months but I was so afraid of overdoing and permanently damaging it in such a way as to never ride again I waited another six months. Silly, in retrospect, but it was what I needed to do. I also had plans to resume backpacking but have pushed that date out to indefinite -- it will be ready when it is ready, not because I circled a date on the calendar. I see this as an opportunity to find new ways to enjoy being active, and to continue to learn patience and moderation, two attributes that have always been a challenge. And, as Dr. Atul Gawande points out in his book, Being Mortal, as we grow older we have to deal with our bodies not working as well, or at all. I feel fortunate to live at a time when we have the medical technology to repair some of those failing body parts.
 
Kathy, I wouldn't buy any non-refundable plane tickets or get really disappointed if it doesn't happen, but I think that hiking at 6 months is not at all an unreasonable expectation. I think that I was hiking at about 4 months, although probably not at full speed. I'm a couple of weeks short of 6 months now, and I have a 10 mile hike set up for tomorrow. This is still very early for you.

I know what you mean about the piece of metal. I delayed surgery for a long time. I would have vastly preferred a more biological approach, like surgical removal of osteophytes and encouragement of cartilage growth. But this is just the way it has to be with current medical technology and the time frame that I have to live my life.
 
Wow, I am sitting here in tears because I never expected this many supportive replies. Thank you all. I guess this hip replacement came at me really fast. I didn't start having really serious symptoms until this past summer. I thought it was a labrum tear because of a fall I had the previous spring. The labrum specialist I went to in January corrected my self diagnosis and I was scheduled for replacement surgery March 1. And I really am feeling a whole lot better than I was before surgery - what a treat to be able to sleep without pain! My implant has a bio matrix that my bone cells are supposed to grow into to make it very solid without any cement, so I am trying to picture this implant as really becoming a part of me. (but I still prefer to just ignore it)

Thank you for the support, it is going to make thins easier for me.
 
Hi Kathy,
I haven't been on bonesmart for years, and happened to drop in and see your post. I am so sorry to hear that you feel so down, and seem to be lacking in support at the moment. I think you are amazing for going back to work at 4.5 weeks, I don't think I could have done that. Try to take each day as it comes, and rest as much as possible, you are still in early days.

I had my THR on right hip in 2011 and was terrified as never had surgery before, and found the recovery period frustrating as wanted to run before I could walk (literally). I cried a lot and had bad days, but I never regretted the decision to go ahead with the op. I do still feel a bit queasy when I take time to think about what is inside me instead of my own bones, and worry about what could go wrong in the future, but it has changed my life. I was crippled and in constant pain - felt way older than I was and could only see disability and old age ahead. As other people have posted, my hip was a mess in the MRI, no space and eroded. The surgeon was amazed that I hadn't been sent to him a lot earlier.

A year after my op I had lost a stone in weight (which I needed to do) and was walking and cycling enthusiastically. The only thing I was advised to avoid was bungee jumping (no problem there!). I would recommend you keep up with the exercises so that long term your recovery is good, I am sure that this helped me. Not loads of exercise needed, but a short walk everyday and ones to strengthen my gluteus and stretch things out a bit. I still do them, and Pilates once a week to keep flexible. Its good to be able to set a little time aside for yourself towards your physical health, but I realise I was lucky to be able to do this as my children were mostly grown up and my husband is retired so had the time to look after me post op.

I'm not sure I'm being very helpful, especially about your obvious concerns about having a foreign body inside you. If you have someone you can talk this through with it might help. I met with a woman who had had a THR before I decided to go ahead, and supported another friend through hers after mine, and our conversations helped me considerably with issues around this.

Most importantly you are not alone. That was the most valuable thing I found on Bonesmart, and I hope you will also find this and take comfort from it.
Bet wishes

Vikki
 
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I was supposed to be so happy that my bad hip was gone and a good one put in. But I woke up from surgery crying hysterically and saying "It's gone! It's gone!"
I don't know what branch of medicine you practice in but I worked in theatre (OR) and this was quite a common thing in OBGYN, particularly with hysterectomies and, understandably, terminations. I've known one or two members here feel a sense of loss but not many. I can understand it though.
I thought it was a labrum tear because of a fall I had the previous spring.
Labral tears are rarely caused by injury. They are normally a degenerative issue.

Anyway, I am so pleased you plucked up the courage to come back to us so we can give you some group support and advice.

Hip Recovery: The Guidelines
1. Don’t worry: Your body will heal all by itself. Relax, let it, don't try and hurry it, don’t worry about any symptoms now, they are almost certainly temporary
2. Control discomfort:
rest
elevate
ice
take your pain meds by prescription schedule (not when pain starts!)​
3. Do what you want to do BUT
a. If it hurts, don't do it and don't allow anyone - especially a physical therapist - to do it to you
b. If your leg swells more or gets stiffer in the 24 hours after doing it, don't do it again.​
4. PT or exercise can be useful BUT take note of these
5. At week 4 and after you should follow this Activity progression for THRs

Pain management and the pain chart
Healing: how long does it take?
Chart representation of THR recovery

Dislocation risk and 90 degree rule
Energy drain for THRs
Pain and swelling control: elevation is the key

Post op blues is a reality - be prepared for it

Myth busting: on getting addicted to pain meds
Sleep deprivation is pretty much inevitable - but what causes it?

BIG TIP: Hips actually don't need any exercise to get better. They do a pretty good job of it all on their own if given half a chance. Trouble is, people don't give them a chance and end up with all sorts of aches and pains and sore spots. All they need is the best therapy which is walking and even then not to excess.

We try to keep the forum a positive and safe place for our members to talk about their questions or concerns and to report successes with their joint replacement surgery. While members may create as many threads as they like in a majority of BoneSmart's forums, we ask that each member have only one recovery thread. This policy makes it easier to go back and review history before providing advice.
 
Please have hope...don't give up, it will get better. I am pediatric RN... being in medical field and being a patient is tough. I am a PKR, I have had everything go wrong including diverticulitis due to chronic constipation from pain meds but I got thru it. You have to seek out good support ... family or friends. This site is awesome for support, they are up front and honest with telling me what I needed to hear.
Prayers for you


Sent from my iPhone using BoneSmart mobile app
 
I felt terrible after my knee replacement---I felt that my body had let me down, I lost my body part and now I had this big chunk of metal in me. My doctor---who is really not a nice man--- said, just think of it as a crown replacement on a tooth!! naturally this did not make me feel any better. I hated to think of myself with fake knees---like I was inferior, no longer the big, strong ski instructor.

I hate it that when people ask me if I have any replacement parts, I have to tell them about my knees. I feel like I am not longer healthy---I have this big part of me that failed.

Most of all, I hate it that I have metal knees. It is embarrasing, I never wear shorts at all---ever, I gave them all to Salvation army. If someone comments about my scars---at water aerobics which I never do anymore since someone did comment--I feel humiliated. People are laughing at me.

Of course I realize who neurotic this is---I live with a Psychiatrist who is willing to help me see that !! But, it does not matter, those are my feelings. So, I do understand about your hip. There is only one way to deal with loss--and that is an act of courage. Getting up, putting one foot in front of the other---that is how we move forward.

My knees are 9 and 8 years old, but I still do not talk about them face to face. When people ask me about the surgery, I tell them about BoneSmart!! I find it easy to talk about my knees here, because it is a supportive place. I hope you find the same thing. Kelly
 
If you want to go hiking 6 months after your THR....YOU GO GIRL!! Im going back to work May 1st and I can't wait! I have to say I take my Prozac and I don't have this feeling of being down!! Everyone is different! Exercise will not only help your hip but it will help your depression as well! You might also check your diet, I know when I don't eat right it will make me feel even worse! I had my hip done April 12th, someone ask me ystday how the new hip was....I said a lot better than the old one!
I will keep you in my prayers! God will get you through this! Stay strong!!! Positive thinking makes a big difference!!!


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Hi @KathyD
I'm due to have a THR on Thursday. I absolutely understand your feelings about a false part in your body as that is exactly how I feel. I thought I was the only one, even my surgeon said he'd never had that said to him before.

I'm very apprehensive about my surgery as my big dilemma was that my pain had gone from really awful to currently pretty manageable even today. I'm about to start a three year Uni course in September and couldn't take the chance that I could suddenly deteriorate over night and after reading things on here I can see that clearly does happen.

I'm staying positive. I wish you well for the future.
 
Hi Minnie15,

I have a feeling that a lot of people feel conflicted about having a false part in their body - it just seemed so FINAL to me. I don't think my surgeon would understand if I told him because he gets so excited about putting in cool stuff to make people better. I love my surgeon because of that but I don't think he'd get it. I actually cried during surgery, (conscious sedation and fortunately I don't remember). I knew why, but I didn't tell anyone. How do you grieve a body part? I guess giving it time is all we can do. Of course it is Murphy's law that you are feeling better before surgery. What I did was hold on to a memory of something that really hurt. Otherwise I was second guessing myself all the time.
I will be thinking of you on Thursday.
 
@KathyD It never occurred to me that I have false part in my body. You brought it to my attention! :smile2:

Seriously though, my pain was just so horrendous that I wanted it done and didn't care what they did. LOL
Not saying I am any worse than anyone else but that was my mindset. We are all different and our situations, as well as our recoveries are unique to us. It's amazing how much our mind controls our thoughts and sometimes, these thoughts are not rational, sometimes they are. Either way, it's how we think and you certainly are not wrong, nor are you alone.
 
Josephine,

You are right, In older people labral tears are mostly due to degeneration. I guess I was feeling 28 in my head instead of 58. In young people, tears are due to trauma. I am an occupational medicine doctor, sort of a primary care orthopod if you will. ( I actually do know what I am talking about) I see labral tears infrequently because they are more of an athletic than industrial injury, but they do happen. Fortunately, one of the foremost experts in hip labrum repair, Brian White MD, is right here in Denver, where I practice.
 
Overtime I post it turns into an argument with the administrator so I am not going to do this any more
 
Kathy, not sure what you are seeing as an argument?? We are all here to support each other. I hope you reconsider....
 
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