KathyD
junior member
Right total hip replacement March 1, 2017. I am taking a very big risk by posting a thread but I really need some support. this is a big step for me because
1) I very rarely do things like this
2) the one time I did post before surgery I commented that I was having an anterior approach and hoped to be hiking in 6 months and got chastised for this by one of the moderators.
3) I am still having a hard time accepting that a large piece of me was taken out, by my choice, and replaced with something artificial. This is something that I suppressed because nobody else ever mentioned anything like this and I was supposed to be so happy that my bad hip was gone and a good one put in. But I woke up from surgery crying hysterically and saying "It's gone! It's gone!" When I calmed down I tried to pass it off to the nursing staff as a side effect of anesthesia. Now I deal with it by trying not to think about it.
4) I am a doctor. Doctors are supposed to be totally cool with all this stuff. We take care of people, not the other way around. And we make tons of money so if I mention that I had to go back to work after 4.5 weeks for financial reasons, there is something wrong with me, right? ( Did I mention that I got a phone call on day 11 telling me that my clinic was being closed on April 28th and I had to find a new job?)
But here's the deal. I have chronic dysthymia or low grade depression, partially treated with medication and counseling. But add the typical post THR depression on top of that and I am a real mess. I am exhausted. My husband was fantastic for the first 4 weeks after surgery (until my son had an emergency appy) and then his interest waned. The only reason I do my exercises every day is because I read somewhere that people with pre-existing depression do worse after THR and, dammit, that is not going to be me.
So, I am afraid to see if anyone will respond to this. The big risk is going to be to click the "create thread" icon which I am going to do right not before I can stop myself
1) I very rarely do things like this
2) the one time I did post before surgery I commented that I was having an anterior approach and hoped to be hiking in 6 months and got chastised for this by one of the moderators.
3) I am still having a hard time accepting that a large piece of me was taken out, by my choice, and replaced with something artificial. This is something that I suppressed because nobody else ever mentioned anything like this and I was supposed to be so happy that my bad hip was gone and a good one put in. But I woke up from surgery crying hysterically and saying "It's gone! It's gone!" When I calmed down I tried to pass it off to the nursing staff as a side effect of anesthesia. Now I deal with it by trying not to think about it.
4) I am a doctor. Doctors are supposed to be totally cool with all this stuff. We take care of people, not the other way around. And we make tons of money so if I mention that I had to go back to work after 4.5 weeks for financial reasons, there is something wrong with me, right? ( Did I mention that I got a phone call on day 11 telling me that my clinic was being closed on April 28th and I had to find a new job?)
But here's the deal. I have chronic dysthymia or low grade depression, partially treated with medication and counseling. But add the typical post THR depression on top of that and I am a real mess. I am exhausted. My husband was fantastic for the first 4 weeks after surgery (until my son had an emergency appy) and then his interest waned. The only reason I do my exercises every day is because I read somewhere that people with pre-existing depression do worse after THR and, dammit, that is not going to be me.
So, I am afraid to see if anyone will respond to this. The big risk is going to be to click the "create thread" icon which I am going to do right not before I can stop myself