I had my patellactomies in 1991 and 1993. I'm sure things have improved tremendously since then and I know that now doctors don't like to do them now, but if your doctor suggests that, you will be fine without your kneecap. The main drawback is that your leg will be weaker than a normal knee, but with what you are going through now, yours is already weaker.
Back then one of my doctors cut and shortened the patella tendon, and the other doctor wired the second knee's tendon up so it would grow together shorter. I was put into an immobilizer on each leg for about 6 weeks to allow the tendons to heal. The recovery was very similar to a TKR pain-wise, though not nearly as long.
My TKR was actually simpler because my doctor didn't have to bother with tracking the kneecap, but he did have to do a medial release so my leg would bend correctly. This created pain in that area for many months, which is normal after a release.
I still suggest you see another doctor, one that has no contact with your current doctor and will look at your knee with new eyes!
If you have any other questions please feel free to ask them. I will be on and off this site all day and will get back to you.