Depression/post-op blues - open for all

Hello Tammii,
I'm sorry you're struggling with anxiety and feelings of isolation. Consider easing back into socializing as isolation may only increase your depression.

You could begin by inviting a friend over to your parents for coffee and a dessert. Or meet someone for coffee for a predetermined and manageable amount of time you're both agreeable to. Another idea, ask someone to go shopping, or for a walk. You could invite a friend to go to a movie where there would be a little socializing, but mainly quiet time as you watched a movie together. You could take a class with others affording you the opportunity to strike up a conversation with another who's sharing the common interest of the class you're participating in together.

There are many things you could do for short periods of time to ease back into a social life. You may feel uncomfortable and find a need to push yourself initially, but I'm sure after a few get-togethers with friends your comfort level will return.

As far as being worried about people bumping into you while out, use a cane as you ease back into navigating the world outside. People automatically steer clear of those relying on an assistive device. I'm sure after a time your confidence will increase and you'll lay it aside with the realization you don't need it.

Baby Steps. Please take them though and don't isolate yourself. You'll be glad you ventured out.

Wishing you confidence and peace of mind. :console2:
@Tammii1981
 
I am currently 5 weeks post op and the one thing I was not prepared for was the emotional, mental and spiritual journey I was going to go through. I've been suffering for 12 years due to a car accident and I had 2 other surgeries on the same hip. Finally at 40 years old they were willing to replace it. The fear leading up to the replacement was unparallel but I was in good hands. I knew God had orchestrated my steps. But afterwards the depression of being in pain and losing my independence was overwhelming. I'm proud to say I'm finally in a positive place it took lots of prayer, reading and support. I'm ready to be totally self-sufficient but I also understand it will take time.
 
@Janea2020 Welcome to BoneSmart! Yes, this surgery hits both physically and emotionally. But it sounds like you have turned the corner and are headed in the right direction. Well done!

Why don't you start a thread of your own in the hip recovery area? We would love to hear your story.
 
Hi

I'm 3 weeks and 4 days post RTHR.

I suffer a little with anxiety and panic attacks since a late miscarriage in 1986.

On Tuesday 2nd June I slipped on a very low kerb and fell heavily onto my right hip and snapped off the neck of femur. I was kept in hospital and had a THR the next morning.

I stayed in hospital for 4 days because my BP was low, then returned home on 6th June.

On the Monday after, I got a text from my gp surgery saying there was a prescription for me. I wasn't expecting anything as I brought meds home from the hospital, so I called them. They said it was for cream to put in my nostrils as I'd tested positive for MRSA! That was the first I knew of it. I duly used the cream as directed for 5 days and have had no follow up.

Last Monday, 22nd June, my gp called to say that they want me to have x rays to see if I have osteoporosis as I was young to have broken such a large bone. I've never broken a bone before and no history in our family of osteoporosis.

Last Thursday, 25th June, in the evening I noticed my operated calf and both ankles looked a little puffy. I had walked a bit more, I'd done some ironing and it was very hot too, so assumed it was probably that. On Friday morning it still looked a little puffy, and although I'd been told to expect it and read the same, I decided to call gp to check, as I have no contact with ant physiotherapists. I was asked to measure and photograph my calves, which were 13" good side, 13.5" operated side. They asked me to go for a d dimer blood test and by 5pm they called to say I needed to change from fragmin to rivaroxaban and go for a scan on Wednesday. Long story short as it's in my post on main forum, rivaroxaban made me sick so am now on treatment dose of fragmin until Wednesday. I measured my legs again on Friday evening and both measured 13", and have done since. I have a little pain very low down and more inner calf on operated side, but it feels muscular. At the moment no redness etc.

So, consequently this has all made my anxiety levels rocket and I feel so miserable. It seems to be one thing after another. I miss my 2 mile morning walks with our dog, when I would call my mum every day (I still do), and enjoy my walk in the local park.

Can anybody identify with this? I feel helpless, tearful, scared. I wonder if in part it's because it wasn't a planned operation, so was a huge shock to my system and I'm finding it hard to come to terms with.

Sorry to be such a moaning Minnie, but it helps to get it out in the open.

Dee
 
@Dee62 I can totally identify with your experience.

In July 2016 I went into the hospital for a "routine" angiogram. Since I have a family history of heart problems I really wasn't all that worried about the test. I thought the test went well but in the recovery room the consultant said I needed an urgent procedure and stents put in one artery. He said I could not go home and he could not give me any idea of when I would have the procedure.

Seven days later I was transferred (by ambulance) to another hospital. The next day I had the procedure and stayed one night.

Once I was home I felt exactly as you describe - helpless, tearful, scared and in shock. Since that time I have discussed this with several people with similar experiences. All say this is a form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

I'm not medically qualified to say your situation might be the same but it sure sounds like the shock of your fall and unexpected surgery is very similar. Have you thought about talking to someone about this? I do know that several of our members experienced PTSD post joint replacement even though it was a planned procedure.

We are all looking for some type of "normal" these days. The good news for you is that you will indeed get back to those long walks that you love. Just give that yourself time to heal and recover physically and mentally.
 
@Dee62 My heart goes out to you. Having suffered on occasion from depression and anxiety myself, you are not alone. If we can’t help one another in times like this one, when can we? We always want to make sure if it doesn’t improve in a reasonable amount of time, that you talk with a professional. However, talking with a trusted friend or people who can relate can do wonders. Sometimes it is hard to express this with family because you already feel as if you have put enough on their shoulders. But the fear and anxiety and sadness are real.
I have had my share of scary physical events happen. It is frightening when you don’t have much control and feel so vulnerable. There is a certain amount of grief that goes in the mix as well, even if we’re not conscious of it. Allow yourself to cry and experience whatever you need to to get you to the other side. My husband has learned and taught our now grown children that I just need to do that without him trying to “fix” it. Very sensitive people can experience even normal events on a whole different level. Imagine what you need to do with the unexpected, traumatic things. Like Jaycey said, you just need to give yourself all the time you need and know you will get back to those things that make life joyful again. We’ll be here if you need us. ❤️ Pat.
 
Never been depressed until I had this operation last month! I knew the recovery would be very tough for a busy, active person like me which is why I postponed the procedure twice.

I’d say week 3-4 (I am week 5 now) I started to feel really down. I think I look awful compared to how I normally look, I get so tired, I’ve lost interest in eating so forcing myself to eat and spend a lot of my time on my own in my room away from my family. I get up for a bit but then need to lie down. An hour’s walk exhausts me. My kids don’t understand - poor things - and I’ve sent one to stay with his auntie while the other (and my husband) are going away this week for a few weeks. They need a break too as it’s not been easy looking after someone as fussy and such a perfectionist as me!
Much of my time was spent as an athlete and the loss of regular hardcore exercise has been catastrophic for me mentally and physically. My much loved muscle seem to be wasting away as I can’t train properly, and I’m missing the happy hormones that exercise brought me. This is another reason I didn’t want this surgery done as I feared I’d never be able to train as I did.
I am finding the physio exercises a bit dull and not at all challenging. It’s very difficult for me to do exercise which I don’t find hard and challenging. I know that sounds a bit weird and I know I do need to be gentle with my body.
Anyway, this thread was about feeling down and sometimes you can’t explain why you do. I know I should be delighted at having one of my country’s top orthopaedic surgeons operate on my hip, but I don’t feel delighted and actually hate having this implant in me and wish I had not had a sporting accident 4 years ago resulting in early onset on FAI and osteoarthritis. I know I will have to accept all this but right now I can’t.
 
@Dee62 I didn't have serious complications, but I found recovery far more challenging, frustrating, frightening than I had anticipated. Part of the reason was people telling me, "My cousin had the surgery and she was walking without a cane at 4 days" and other such stories.

I really got scared when it took me til week 9 or so to fully get off the cane. And even then I had a lot of soreness. So yes, there was some depression in there ... and just some old-fashioned non-depression misery and fear. Anyway, I'm in love with my hip now, but I can remember how scary recovery is because your brain can panic and tell you that you are not recovering, that this is a disaster and this is the worst and on and on.

Hang in there.

@Spangles, hopefully as your hip heals, you'll be able to be active and get that exercise boost. The desire to resume steady and sometimes aggressive exercise was why I had the surgery. I could still walk about before surgery.

For now, you are what a month in ... you don't want to do challenging pt at your stage ... just walk ... with cane or walker or whatever ... are you walking? ... Let's hope you'll get back to that good exercise and you'll do so without the pain you've had. I know--that seems a long way away. .

Hmmmmmm... did I see the word "perfectionist." Well I'm a recovering perfectionist and one challenge perfectionists have is that recovery is inherently messy and unpredictable. And there is a lot of letting go required ... A non-perfectionist friend of mine had the surgery and noticed small improvements early on ... and literally, she stopped worrying. She just knew her body was healing and would heal fast ... Perfectionists like to control (in the neutral-to-positive sense) and surgery by definition requires letting go. You couldn't control the surgery ... and your body is now healing at its own pace. It'll get there.
 
@Spangles like @Going4fun mentioned, I also found my feeling down and frustrated was largely due to the discrepancy between my expectations of recovery and the reality of recovery (part of my perfectionIsm as well.) Add into that the huge energy drain and physiological stresses your body has been through and is it any wonder you hardly recognize yourself. You feel it inside. You don’t think it shows on the outside? Of course it does! I don’t know about you, but I was scaring myself about how old and tired I looked before surgery. I tried not to look too hard afterwards for a while. Lol. You need to almost do a reset in the thinking and get off the hamster wheel. You are so close to the situation and certainly at a disadvantage for objective thinking. It only makes you want to hang on tighter. That’s why it’s good to come to other people who get how awful it’s been to be put into this situation due to an accident, injury, or just plain bad genetics. You didn’t want it or if even anticipate it but here you are. There’s nothing you could’ve done about that anyway. So what did you do? You took the one step that could set you on the course to gain back what you feel you have lost. So what do you do now? Stop walking for an hour and then wondering why you are tired. You had a THR. It’s taken more out of you than you could have imagined. You can’t train right now. Your tissues have been TRAUMATIZED. They need to HEAL and be treated with TLC. You have to somehow come to the reality of a little patience now will pay off big later. So put that good side of perfectionism to work. Set up a realistic, let me repeat, realistic routine of exercise: mostly walking. A regimen of so many minutes (not an hour) this many times a day interspersed with rest, ice, elevation. Do some upper body work even with light weights. Increase it slowly and steadily like the guidelines on the forum suggest. You can start adding other exercise in as okayed by your OS and as that hip tolerates. Challenge yourself to stay on task but also be patient and then find ways to pamper and reward yourself. I guarantee the athlete in you will start to respond. You will see progress, increased muscle tone, and that cloud will start to dissipate. It will get you to the place that you can actually feel like you are getting your life back again. How do I know? I’ve been there. Now, I’m here. I went from debilitated and practically hopeless to happy again and being the fittest I’ve been in years. It’s so nice to see those muscles defined again. It hasn’t been all rainbows and unicorns but it has been worth every slow, calculated step. I love looking in the mirror again. I remember that lovely woman. You can, too. You just have to be kind, fair, and patient to and with yourself. It’s okay to be sad or mad. That’s just human. Just don’t stay there. I have faith in you. Keep us in the loop. ❤️
 
@Going4fun and @Hip4life thank you both so much for your detailed, completely sensible and inspiring advice. I know you’re both right, and the logical part of my brain does too. You’ve made me feel a lot better today as I focus on being patient and let my body heal. I’m the most impatient person ever, so that’s another reason this is so hard for me.
I don’t want to do anything to scupper my recovery and I know I will get there. It just sometimes feels two steps forward and one back.
@Hip4life I will cut down the hour long walks! I just thought that’s what I needed to do & felt guilty if I didn’t do it. I’ve been aching quite a bit after them too. I suppose I just want to get back to being me quicker than my body wants.
Have a great day.
 
@Spangles yeah, definitely slow down if the walking is giving you pain. Take some days off ... then cut the length of time. This was another problem that sent my mood tumbling down--everytime I substantially increased my exercise during recovery, my body reacted and sometimes harshly. I was once taking a very slow walk with cane around a few blocks in my neighborhood. The pain literally stopped me ... looking back, I really had put too much strain on the soft tissue that had been cut and twisted and was still in the early stages of healing.

See if you can turn that wonderful drive of yours in the opposite way for now--just push yourself to do a little less. Sounds nutty, I know. But remember: recovering hips often don't scream in real time (while you're in the middle of the activity), they scream later, sometimes a day later or as I joke, sometimes two days later.

Pushing yourself in this situation just does not speed up recovery. Pushing yourself is probably a great coping device for you ... probably has led to a lot of success--but for hip recovery--nope, doesn't work. I once read a patient writing about his very prominent surgeon, and the patient said his surgeon told him (this is pre-surgery) he had to go really slow after surgery ... and the surgeon kinda paused and almost got a bit angry and insisted that the patient agree to this before the surgery. And he waited for the patient to confirm this. The patient went on to have a great recovery, but he was admitting that had the surgeon not done his dramatic pause and insistence, he would have way overdone things early on.
 
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@Spangles Please feel free to continue to vent and express yourself here or on your thread and tag me. I have been a former athlete, gotten my athlete daughter through her injuries and have been very physically active my entire life. It really affected me when my hip started failing me. It affected my family as well because I really was not myself and I no longer had a physical outlet. But that was the painful, dark start to my journey. We are both past that part which is the best thing. I’m just a few steps ahead of you. I’ll wave as you catch up and zoom on past! :) ❤️
 
Hi Spangles,
I’m sorry you're still feeling down, exhausted, unhappy with your appearance and rate of recovery. I understand it’s cold comfort, but many of us can relate because we’ve been there ourselves. While miserable in the midst of it, it will not last. Brighter days are on the horizon.

If you’re tired and feeling melancholy, you will be unhappy with the reflection in the mirror. What about a visit to the salon for a trim / color? A trip to the store to buy a new lipstick, fragrance, body wash, nail polish...anything that gives you a little boost normally. Give yourself a mani / pedi with a color you love and it can put a smile on your face. You may have to push yourself a little, because it’s easy to laze around whIle feeling blue. I remember doing a pedicure at four weeks out and while it took some contorting to get it done, I did it! I recall being so happy I snapped a pic with my phone to send to my mom, lol. Simple pleasures! Not sure if you use cosmetics, but I found it helped me feel more normal if I curled my hair and applied minimal make-up almost daily, from very early on, like five days post-op. Shallow as it seems, it made me feel better and more like myself.

I think getting outdoors helps also. Even if it’s only for a coffee with a friend, or a drive somewhere unusual listening to some music you love. While you‘re still building strength, stamina and sticking to your exercise routine, maybe a walk with a friend in the fresh air and sunshine surrounded by some beautiful scenery will lift your mood somewhat. Or a mini Happy Hour with someone guaranteed to make you laugh.

I understand it is difficult to accept that your natural hip has been replaced by a prosthetic one. I felt the same. It made me sad, brought on tears more than once. I can almost say I hated IT and wondered what the stupid thing that was inserted through the ugly new gash in my flesh looked like. Crazy...I know! It took some time but I’ve made peace with it and you will also. My pain is gone, range of motion improved and believe it or not, it now feels like a part of me. My biggest concern was whether it would outlast me, but I quit worrying about that because it’s useless to worry about something I can’t control.

While your kids and hubs may enjoy a change of scenery and you may enjoy the peace and even a few good therapeutic cries, please try to structure your days so your mind is occupied and not constantly going to the “bad place”. I hope you have family or friends available to call or visit with. We’re available also, lights never go out here, so if you’re in need, don’t hesitate to drop by and say Hi.

Sending hugs and best wishes for a peaceful rest of the week!
@Spangles
 
Hi Spangles,
I’m sorry you're still feeling down, exhausted, unhappy with your appearance and rate of recovery. I understand it’s cold comfort, but many of us can relate because we’ve been there ourselves. While miserable in the midst of it, it will not last. Brighter days are on the horizon.

If you’re tired and feeling melancholy, you will be unhappy with the reflection in the mirror. What about a visit to the salon for a trim / color? A trip to the store to buy a new lipstick, fragrance, body wash, nail polish...anything that gives you a little boost normally. Give yourself a mani / pedi with a color you love and it can put a smile on your face. You may have to push yourself a little, because it’s easy to laze around whIle feeling blue. I remember doing a pedicure at four weeks out and while it took some contorting to get it done, I did it! I recall being so happy I snapped a pic with my phone to send to my mom, lol. Simple pleasures! Not sure if you use cosmetics, but I found it helped me feel more normal if I curled my hair and applied minimal make-up almost daily, from very early on, like five days post-op. Shallow as it seems, it made me feel better and more like myself.

I think getting outdoors helps also. Even if it’s only for a coffee with a friend, or a drive somewhere unusual listening to some music you love. While you‘re still building strength, stamina and sticking to your exercise routine, maybe a walk with a friend in the fresh air and sunshine surrounded by some beautiful scenery will lift your mood somewhat. Or a mini Happy Hour with someone guaranteed to make you laugh.

I understand it is difficult to accept that your natural hip has been replaced by a prosthetic one. I felt the same. It made me sad, brought on tears more than once. I can almost say I hated IT and wondered what the stupid thing that was inserted through the ugly new gash in my flesh looked like. Crazy...I know! It took some time but I’ve made peace with it and you will also. My pain is gone, range of motion improved and believe it or not, it now feels like a part of me. My biggest concern was whether it would outlast me, but I quit worrying about that because it’s useless to worry about something I can’t control.

While your kids and hubs may enjoy a change of scenery and you may enjoy the peace and even a few good therapeutic cries, please try to structure your days so your mind is occupied and not constantly going to the “bad place”. I hope you have family or friends available to call or visit with. We’re available also, lights never go out here, so if you’re in need, don’t hesitate to drop by and say Hi.

Sending hugs and best wishes for a peaceful rest of the week!
@Spangles
Thanks again @Layla
This has helped me a lot. I agree getting up
& having a structure are key. Everything in the UK, and London where I live, is still very much affected by rightly taking precautions against this coronavirus & the new normal is disconcerting in shops & restaurants in particular. Many places are still closed. I feel like I’m going to pass out wearing a mask which is now compulsory in the UK & you’re not allowed to touch anything in makeup shops. I’m not sure if it’s the same for you in the USA. That said, getting out in the sunshine is important and I will make sure I do that.
Good idea regarding getting make up on and hair done. I’ve already had my hair done & am putting makeup up on as it makes me feel better.
It sounds like you really relate to all I’m going through and you’ve given me the belief that it will certainly get better. I do want to get my ROM back right side; it was very bad pre op and is already much better. I’m pretty hopeful once the swelling and discomfort have subsided that I will feel much better, as you did.
I have got lots of friends & family & will ensure I reach out to them even though I’ve not felt like speaking to or seeing anyone. They’ve been contacting me regularly to see how I am which is nice.
I will take on board all your advice. Take care.
 
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I feel like I’m going to pass out wearing a mask which is now compulsory in the UK

Yes! Me too...hate it! Called my husband from my car one day after having that thing on for only 15 minutes because I felt as though I was hyperventilating and it frightened me. My rebellious side does not like being told I have to breathe in my own exhaust!
Whole other story though and we can’t get too political here or we might get one
of these -> :no-fin:

you’re not allowed to touch anything in shops.

Wow! Not like that here...yet. At least in my area. Takes all the joy out of shopping!

It sounds like you really relate to all I’m going through

Very much so.

QUOTE="Spangles, post: 1431320, member: 36638"]
I have got lots of friends & family & will ensure I reach out to them even though I’ve not felt like speaking to or seeing anyone
[/QUOTE]

Good to hear you’ll reach out. You know the old saying “Fake it till you make it” and you will make it! :yes:
 
@Spangles definitely take up the friends' offers ... or to be more blunt, tell them exactly what would make your life easier. Literally friends will do all kinds of favors if we just tell them what we need. I told friends I would want to be taken out to coffee ... I asked a few friends to bring me some food.

You can even call one and say you need to complain. People often want to help, but kinda get lost in figuring out what we need, and if we're used to being super independent and never needy, we can lose that skill ... Well, great time to practice ... And you know what? A friend is someone who would LOVE to do a favor/cook a meal/ bring us a meal and on and on. They love that. And they can handle you telling them you're frustrated at the slow pace of things ...

You can relax on the range of motion ... that can take time ... lots of healing ahead ... You won't have to force the range of motion. It'll just happen.
 
Good morning! I had my RTHR August 12. Since then, over the last 3 weeks, on 3 specific occurrences, I wake in the middle of the night very scared, in panic, feeling like I can't breathe. The more I am awake, the worse it gets. I get very scared, worried and don't know what to do. My only solution, which has worked every time, is to take a xanax which I had from a previous prescription. After 30-45 minutes, I have settled back down and go back to sleep.

There is no rhyme or reason as to what brought this anxiety attacks on. The previous days involved minimal meds -- 2 oxy for pain (morning/afternoon), 2 tylenol at dinner, 2 tylenol and antihistamine at bed time. Other nights, I have slept fine.

Should I continue to fight on my own? Should I reach out to my OS/PA?
One change I made from their prescribed meds - they prescribed trazadone to assist with sleep. As I understand, trazadone is an anti depressant. Should I use the trazadone and stop the antihistamine?

Appreciate your comments!
Ken
 
@ken325i So sorry you are having these anxiety attacks. I would reach out to your OS. Many people experience PTSD post major surgery. Sounds like you might have a bit of this. It could also be a side effect of your medication.

Please do call your OS. Don't let this go on for too long. There is enough anxiety post op just dealing with recovery. I hope you find a solution very soon.
 
Having these anxiety issues can be so distressing. I have been there. Reaching out to your OS or even your PCP is a good idea. Medications used for say antidepressants and secondarily for sleep could be tricky in how they affect you and how regularly you need to take them. You may need something entirely different for anxiety/sleep. A short term round of such was what worked for me in the past. Please let them know that you have the Xanax so they can counsel you on how that might fit in as well. Blessings for a quick resolution so you can be at your best for continued good healing. Keep us posted
 

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