I'm really scared out about being put to sleep (scared out about all of it to be honest, it's been a long year). I have a phobia that I may not wake up.
You may be surprised to learn that almost everybody else has that fear. It's very, very common and natural.
With the spinal block/sedation, do you hear what's going on or are you sedated enough not to know what's happening?
It varies. The anaesthetist can give you enough to ensure you know nothing from the moment he does the spinal until you wake up in recovery, wonderfully pain free! However, they can also give a very mild sedation where you can respond to questions but will know nothing about it. In both these situations, you will retain your cough and swallowing reflexes. Or they can give you nothing and allow you to enjoy the wonders of the surgery you are about to undergo! I wouldn't recommend that though - movie tough guy Michael Douglas chose to stay awake and rumour has it, he had such bad nightmares afterwards, he needed therapy to get over the PTSD!
I spent years helping with spinals and always said that if anyone every wanted to give me a spinal, they'd have to catch me first! However, when it came to it, I meekly complied like everyone else. The anaesthetist asked me if I had any 'last requests' (it's okay, we worked together for years!) and I told him I wanted to not see anything from the time of the spinal to recovery and he was as good as his word. In my case, it wasn't that I was particularly scared, but having been a theatre (OR) manager for years, was really anxious I'd see somebody do something I didn't approve of and I'd have nightmares about it afterwards! I was also frightened if I did see something that even verged on bad practice, I'd be shouting irate orders about it!
As a point of note, when you have a GA, you don't have that wonderful painfree-ness afterwards! I'm having a spinal again next time! And a femoral block too please, waiter!