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So Scared!

Discussion in 'Hip Replacement Pre-Op Area' started by lily77, Aug 6, 2012.

  1. lily77

    lily77 Junior Member

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    Hello!! :) I am scheduled for a THR on my left hip November 15th. I am 34 yrs old and the mother to 2 kids ages 7 & 11. I work full time in accounting. My concerns are many... I am so young - what if they screw it up and I hurt worse after than I do now - they are cutting my bone OFF, I cannot take that back - the recovery - how much time off of work I will need.... etc, etc...

    For all of you, was it worth it? Are you better off now than you were then? I have a sit down job, will I be able to return in 2 weeks? :what:

    A little history on me....

    I was apparently born with hip dysplasia and it only starting to bother me in my early twenties and has progressively gotten worse (especially after my pregnancies). Last July I had a hip arthroscopy and my Dr completely reshaped my femoral head hoping that it would fit better in the socket. Well no such luck. In fact I am certain that it hurts worse now than it ever has. I have advanced osteoarthritis, a labral tear and zero cartilage at the top of the hip joint. Add all of that to pain everyday = me getting a hip replacement. But as I stated in the title, I am soooooo scared!!! :sad: Any words of advise would be greatly appreciated!

    Thank you :flwrysmile:
    Kelsey
     
  2. sunnydays

    sunnydays Junior Member

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    Hi my lovely. first please read as many posts on here as you can and also the library information. Here you will gain knowledge and you will get to understand exactly the major operation you will be going through. It is without doubt a big major upheaval and a learning curve on how your body will react. But all this will be short term. Have inside knowledge of how the body works, your emotions and also the timeline of everyone's experience on here.
    To be fair, your expectation of being back at work after 2 weeks are unrealistic. So please be aware and plan ahead for your needs and your children's needs. You will need help for at least 2 weeks and maybe more.
    Right lets tackle your fears. Yes it is major and evasive surgery. So what does that tell you? You will have pain. The hospital will sort you out with adequate pain relief to get you through. You will be immobile. You wont be able to bend, dress, get into bed by yourself, cook, clean or handle your children.
    Your bone will be cut. You will have a metal replacement and it will go together like it has for thousands upon thousands of people before you.
    So you have a few things to think about before you have this brilliant operation. Plan way ahead and get food in, help for yourself and your children. You will have to notify work that your absence will be down to your healing and your ability to function adequately and independently after your op.
    But let's put things into perspective for you. You have had years of pain, you have functioned but not on a normal basis. The surgeon will remedy this with an operation that is done thousands of times a day worldwide. You will have the ability and motion to spend the rest of your years moving freely with your children and doing normal mum things with no pain.
    Chin up, get organized and I'm sure you will have the courage to go forward and meet this head on with knowledge, understanding and keep in contact with Bonesmart as it is the best healer you will find anywhere.
    Best wishes Sunnydays xx
     
  3. JoJo Hippy Chic

    JoJo Hippy Chic Junior Member

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    Hey Lily
    I also had an arthroscopy on my hip buy about 6 years ago. Last September I snapped my achilles tendon and was on tip toe in a cast for a couple of months or so which realy stressed my hip. Pain wasn't awful but couldn't get my foot up to put a sock on. I decided to just go for it .. could have pottered on for a bit longer, but why would i, want to live my life now, you nevr know if a bus is goign to run you over tomorrow. If you can't live the life you want = just go for it :egypdance:
    PS My 5 year old grandson is staying for a couple of days and I am coping fine despite being only 5 weeks in.
    PPS With regard to cutting your bone off, I wanted to keep my piece of bone but they wouldn't let me - health and safety goes mad - would have made a great paperweight with a smiley face on it :hairpulling:
     
  4. Josephine

    Josephine Forum Admin and Mother Hen Administrator

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    Hi there, kelsey. That's quite a plateful you have on your hands. As you know from your arthroscopy, you will need help after your surgery. Why don't you teach you kids to do things for you? Make it a game and that they are 'helping mommy' and they will be pleased to do so, I expect. You should read this Nurturing mother: how to let go and accept help
    If, if, if - what if you got so bad you couldn't work AT ALL? Some people do, some people are too ill with other complaints like MS and spinal conditions that they can't have surgery at all and have to just get worse and worse and be disabled with the pain. Count your blessings that you are fit enough to have the surgery.

    Anyway, it might help to know that hip surgery is the second most performed surgery IN THE WORLD! The first is knee replacement. That means that hundreds of thousands of them are done every year globally. Which also gives testimony to its success.
    Just take a look here, it should give you some idea what other people think Stories of amazing hip recoveries
    Not in this lifetime! Have a read of these and get a better idea of the timeline involved in recovery
    How Long Does Healing Take ......
    Chart representation of THR recovery
    Energy Drain for THRs
    Hip recovery: progression of activity for THRs

    And being a full time worker, you really need to read this Working after surgery: plan for a phased return to your job
     
  5. vikemike

    vikemike New Member

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    I also had my hip replacement at a relatively young age--43. I had some difficulties (hematoma and infection) and had to have a second surgery 2 and a half weeks after the first. It was very frustrating at the time, but it was temporary. I had my hip replaced on May 22, second surgery on June 8, so I am officially a little over 8 weeks into recovery. Since the initial surgical pain subsided, I have been pain free, and am already much more mobile than pre-surgery. Like you, I also had a lot of fears going in, but the surgery has been a blessing for me. It does take time to recover, and there are a lot of inconveniences, such as the precautions, but you've got to think long term. In the long term, you will get your life and freedom back, and you won't have to worry about pain anymore. I would do it again in a heartbeat, knowing what I know now.

    Just a word on your what if questions....life is full of what ifs. There are no guarantees in life. You have the chance to make your life better for you and your family though.
     
  6. Lgastreich

    Lgastreich Member

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    I was a little freaked out picturing what was going to happen to my body during my surgery and a little sad that I wasn't able to heal myself without such drastic measures. By the day after the surgery I realized that my fear far outweighed the reality. It wasn't always easy, but my recovery was essentially drama-free and I love that I no longer have such horrible pain in my hip. Your children will learn many things as you recover--compassion, patience, and the realization that they are capable of caring for someone else. I didn't have an extended period of pain and inactivity before my hip pain began and as you will read on this site time and again, everyone's recovery is different. I was able to return to short days at work (3-4 hours) after four weeks, but I ended each day at the office pretty tired and ready for a long nap when I got home. During the next week I extended my time at the office, but didn't really go back full-time until six weeks. Even today (8+weeks out) I get tired if I try to put in a long day and some of the creativity I need for my work is still eluding me. Still, I'm glad I had the surgery. I'm encouraged by the strides made in this field and can only imagine they would continue. I hope you are able to put some of your fears aside or find ways to express your concerns here and with friends and family. It helps to put words to what you are feeling.
     
  7. Suki

    Suki Senior

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    Kelsey

    Being scared is natural. But don't let the fear stop you. Your life will be so much better. No more chronic pain! Imagine what you can do when all of that energy is restored to you, to use for things you want to do instead of on fighting that pain!

    Check out our library, read some of our stories, and see for yourself how life has opened up for most of us, once the chronic pain in our hips was relieved....

    Life is for living. Enjoy.

    Suki
     
  8. JaneyGS

    JaneyGS Junior Member

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    I have a similar story to you - hip dysplasia discovered when I was 18, now 40 and scheduled for 21st September. I have similar concerns to you - what if it goes wrong etc etc. As others have said, these are only "what ifs" - the real certainty is that my hip won't get better by itself so getting it fixed sooner rather than later seems to make sense.

    I've told work that I'm taking 12 weeks off - I've worked for the same employer for 17 years and the sickness policy is great so I can take as much time as I need to get better. If I feel up to it I can start back sooner - I guess it will depend on how bored I get!

    Hope the knowledge that we all have the same worries makes you feel better.

    Jane
     
  9. Jaycey

    Jaycey Moderator

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    Welcome to BoneSmart Kelsey! To answer your question my THR was the best thing I have ever done for myself. My life had narrowed to the point where I was literally planning every movement around the pain. Trips up and down stairs, a walk to the mailbox, making it across the parking lot to grocery shop - it was all a major battle.

    Post op - I was giddy and SO excited. All that bone on bone pain was gone. Sure there was pain from the surgery. But that pain can be controlled. I left the hospital on one crutch and never looked back.

    Please do some reading in the library. You won't be able to go back to work in 2 weeks. Read the articles Jo has posted on timeframes for recovery. Bottom line THR is not a life sentence - it's a new beginning. You will love that shiny new hip!
     
  10. navyvet92

    navyvet92 Graduate

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    Lilly i dont want to sound like a broken record however when i had my TRHR back in April the weeks leading up to surgery i was deathly afraid i was not going to make it to the recovery room , i was socared that on the morning of my surgery i was crying and couldnt stop, the nurse had to give me a sedative called versede and they gave me this three times because i was tat upset , in the hoding room right before you go into the OR i was hysterical , so i know what you're going through i wont howvef say i know how you feel , its normal to be scared, here in the US they perform hip replacements everyday , in fact ove 200,000 a year, its very routine , i promise you- you will be fine , you'll feel like a new woman afte your RX,the best advice i can give you is use this site a muc ad possible because there are some amazing , supportive people here, they were awesome for me, right up to the night before my scheduled RX , i wish you all the best , be gentle with yourself and remember what i mentioned, you will be ok, :tada:
     
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  11. sharonslp

    sharonslp Forum Advisor

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    Kelsey, a return to work in two weeks is not at all realistic, even with a sit-down job. I've had both hips replaced now, and both have been incredibly quick and easy recoveries. But at two weeks, sitting up in a chair still hurt, and staying awake for a work day would have been impossible. Even when you are physically bouncing back well, there is the issue of the brain fog that anesthesia often causes. I'm at 4 weeks out now, and I still have a limited attention span. I go back to school in 3 weeks, and I'm feeling pretty confident about my brain by then....but I did pass up starting an online course last week because I just can't sustain any thinking activity for very long yet. If all goes well, you could expect that at four weeks you could start easing back part-time.

    That said, everyone is different, as is everyone's particular circumstances. Sometimes people don't have a choice, and they have to return to work, and somehow they make it work. But working a full day and then coming home to kids....it's a recipe for exhaustion, that's for sure.

    But life after recovery from a THR....life after chronic pain....definitely worth it all.

    Sharon
     
  12. JustaDreamer

    JustaDreamer Junior Member

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    I too was mortified at the thought of all they were going to do to me....mortified to the point that I was telling
    my husband how I want my funeral, just in case...etc etc. I didn't think I was going to survive the surgery
    being a heavy smoker among other things. But I just hit my 6 week mark of having it done...I woke up fine
    from surgery, not one effect of the anesthesia bothered me, that I can tell. My hip hurts so little that I have to
    stop myself from doing things, not because I can't but because I shouldn't. I still can't sit for long periods of time
    in certain chairs, like my normal old comp chair that I miss so much, but life is good and I am looking forward to
    being done with the restrictions they give right after surgery. I feel no pain at all like I did before the surgery, now
    it's just a little annoying nudge reminding me that I've recently had surgery and I need to be good to myself.
    I really doubt you will feel like going back to work after 2 weeks, but we all heal differently. I was ready willing and
    able to drive at 2 weeks, not sure I would want to sit in an office chair for 8 hours tho, as naps are glorious at this time.

    Bottom line is, yes I am very glad I had it done...even with the little ups and downs that come with recovery
    I can still see that light at the end of my tunnel. Best of luck to you. Be scared, it's normal, cry when you
    need to, that's normal too...just remember that these emotions are okay and we all felt it right along with you.

    Pam
     
  13. Hoops68

    Hoops68 Junior Member

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    Hi Kelsey,

    It is human nature for us to be scared. It is a big operation and of course one always feels apprehensive making such a big decision. For me it was an easy decision to make due to the me being relatively young with a lot of life to live. You also have many years left on this planet and therefore to regain that quality of life and minimise the pain it really is a decision ou won't look back on.

    It has been 8 months since my operation and boy what a difference it has made to my life. I can walk miles and miles with no pain; I have been doing weights since about 6 to 8 weeks out of the operation and other little things such as bending over are not a problem. I could also run if I wanted to, but at present am heeding my doctor's advice until I see him again.

    I went back to work after 4 weeks. That is cutting it fine. I also have a desk job and in hindsight 5 to 6 weeks would have been better. In saying that each person recovers differently, however I would heed the advice from all those who have had the operation.

    Good luck with it all.

    cheers
    Hoops
     
  14. lily77

    lily77 Junior Member

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    Thank you all for your kind words and your advice. I am ready for it. I have been hurting sooooo bad this week it is making me physically sick. I have had a low grad temp and body aches from the inflammation. :boohoo: Have any of you ever experienced this? The feeling of being "sick" and the fever from the inflammation? I am just miserable. :cry:I think it is God's way of letting me know I made the right decision. :angel:
     
  15. rider1960

    rider1960 Post-Grad

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    Kelsey, I wasn't able to identify individual specific non-pain related problems I had before my first surgery, but I felt so bad that I was like "the walking dead", so I could have had the stuff that you are experiencing and I just felt so bad overall that I was just too out of it to remember.

    It sounds like you need your bad hip OUT OF THERE yesterday! It's worth every bit of life rearranging and compromises you need to do to get it done.

    Good luck,

    Dorothy
     
  16. forbesy

    forbesy Sr Bonesmartie

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    Hi Kelsey

    Just got my left hip done and don't regret it a bit, I am sure with you being young this will help you recover more quickly but two weeks is pushing it a bit. I didn't drive until eight weeks as I was determined not to muck things up.
    By far the best decision I have ever made :thumb:, I also work with the council and entitled to six months full pay but was back after eleven weeks.

    Billy
     
  17. tashia

    tashia Sr Bonesmartie

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    Kelsey, Its ok to be afraid just don't let it get you so you lose today. Also please try to stay away to what ifs. I have had both hip and knee and I found that the hip was so much easier than the knees. It wasn't as pain full and much quicker to get to recover. I do know every one is different and some people do have problems. Just think after you have the replacement you will be able to play with your Children and have fun with them. You have a full life to look forward to. WOW! As most of the ones have said. Glad I did it. Do take care and have a good weekend and hopefully has some fun. :puppysmooze: Tashia:bicycle1:
     
  18. Poppet

    Poppet Honourary Moderator

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    Hi Kelsey

    The pre op period is the worse.. All our fears seem to tumble up like in a tumble dryer... Over and over.. BUT! You will not regret this decision.. To be free of bone on bone pain and to be able to focus on your recovery and then as you can see by our members, focussing on getting on with life... It all starts for you Nov 15.. You will be fine :)
     
  19. Weezy

    Weezy Graduate

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    Hi Kelsey....I can't add too much to all of the good advice and information already given, except to share a little bit about the fear issue and how our bodies survive and heal.

    I was petrified before my first knee replacement; moderately scared before my second knee replacement. It's normal. It's a big thing and I don't think anyone likes being knocked out and having parts of their body cut away. However, I've learned that our bodies can heal and that surgery is sometimes a necessary part of the healing process. I had major surgery this spring for breast cancer--4.5 hours worth--many times longer than either one of my knee replacements. I was so scared about the cancer I didn't have time to be afraid of the surgery and it all happened so fast. But I survived it and have recovered from it. Others have survived much much worse. OUR BODIES WANT TO HEAL AND BE HEALTHY. And they will if we allow ourselves time to heal and rest and physically nourish ourselves.

    Having your hip replaced is the first step towards letting your body heal. Chronic severe pain is not natural. You'll be amazed at how wonderful you feel without that constant pain, and your body will thank you!

    Hang in there! You are NOT alone!

    Weezy
     
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  20. tashia

    tashia Sr Bonesmartie

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    Weezy, :goodpost: I am also a cancer survior and it is great. the body does want to heal and its amazing on how much a person can take and before long be strong. :iagree: I don't regent my two knee done nor my hip. Life is great. Conic pain is a pain. Please take care and don't let what ifs get in the way. :puppysmooze:Tashia:bicycle1:
     

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