TKR I made it to the other side

[Equestrienne]

I know this is childish and shouldn't bother me. Last night we had some family over for the holidays. One is a pediadtric nurse, soon she starts asking about my surgery and recovery. Next thing I know she's telling me a out a friend of a friend who had a BTKR she is asking me why I'm still on a walker. As the friend of a friend apparently walks one mile per day. I know I'd not be able to do that but also know my O'S is Pleased with my recovery and how I'm progressing. By the end of the conversation I am so depressed. Is there any type of response that would be appropriate in these type of conversations?

 

[bottomshollow]

Well, sweetie, a friend of a friend is hardly first hand knowledge of what is really occurring in that recovery. And, of course it bothered you, because it made light of your own personal recovery which she knows and understands nothing about. Please don't be depressed. My hubby is three months post op and just is now is able to stand on his own. So recoveries are very individual.

And if this happens again, you need to smile your biggest smile and say as warmly and pleasantly as you can, "Well, you know, I just a very slow learner, have been all my life." Then change the subject.

And this is why we are here, Jana, because those of us on the forum understand what's going on--we've been there, done that, got the tee shirt, and we "get" it. You are doing great!!!!!!!

REMEMBER:

AND YOU ARE GOING TO BE AWESOME!

 

[Jacky48]

Jana they know not what they speak of! When my daughter-in-law said to me yesterday and even before I had my BTKR was, all you need to keep doing is keep moving and it will put more fluid in your joints, if you don't move it it won't get better and yesterday I finally said, sweetie, when you have bone one bone pain, movement will not fix it, because it hurts too much to move!

As a response to anyone who is so insensitive, I would say, until you've been there, you'll never know!

 

[1ELISEA]

Last night we had some family over for the holidays. One is a pediadtric nurse, ... she is asking me why I'm still on a walker. Is there any type of response that would be appropriate in these type of conversations?

Hmmm.... here are a few.......
A walker is the best way to work on not limping; it allows you to evenly distribute your weight and concentrate on your gait.

Or you could ask her if every baby heals the same or is each baby different. Use an analogy applicable to that person's profession.

Or you are working on building the muscles needed for a complete long term recovery rather than going for a quick fix. Your goal is to have a perfectly working implant for decades to come and the best way to do that is to take care of it starting now.

Any of those inspire you? Say them with a confident look on your face and then leave them wondering why they asked such an obviously dumb question.

 

[Equestrienne]

Hmmm.... here are a few.......
A walker is the best way to work on not limping; it allows you to evenly distribute your weight and concentrate on your gait.

Or you could ask her if every baby heals the same or is each baby different. Use an analogy applicable to that person's profession.

Or you are working on building the muscles needed for a complete long term recovery rather than going for a quick fix. Your goal is to have a perfectly working implant for decades to come and the best way to do that is to take care of it starting now.

Any of those inspire you? Say them with a confident look on your face and then leave them wondering why they asked such an obviously dumb question.

You all have made me feel better and have given me some Valuable feedback. I've had friends and coworkers who've had arthroscopic knee surgeries which are so different than a TKR. This surgery is very complex so without this site and support system I would've been groping along in the dark

Thank you all for helping.

Jana

 

[1ELISEA]

Yes, it's good to have a repertoire of "things I should have said" for the next time.
Glad to help!

 

[Equestrienne]

Constipation question--stool softeners just dont work for me, regardless if I take extras or not. I drink plenty of water. Any brand recommendations for laxatives or homeopathics which do the trick? Thanks in advance

 

[Geoffs1]

Prune juice and metamucil did the trick for me. I take metamucil everyday and it keeps me very regular. I didn't get anywhere with stool softeners but I did with prune juice, prunes and fruit and my regular morning drink of metamucil. Good luck.

Regarding the family nurse. Sometimes really stupid things come out of smart people. I usually say something like, I am sure you mean well but telling me how badly I am doing compared to others really isn't that helpful but thanks for trying.

Like others have said before and much better than me, this is the place to come when smart and caring people/family say stupid things. Truly no one can possibly know how hard and individual this is unless you have gone through a tkr. Good luck and you will get where you want to be when it is time for you to be there and not a second sooner. This is a long hard journey but you are doing great and right on schedule. Happy new year, 2013 is going to be our year with new, pain free knees

 

[Equestrienne]

I purchased some nice New Balance shoes and put in my orthotics a couple of weeks back. I noticed I am still having pain on the top of the feet as well as some pain in my arches. If I happen to have a day where I walked a lot, I notice my calf on the operated leg becomes as stiff as aboard. Doing calf stretches does help a bit. Do you supPose this is all a result from walking in such poor form prior to my Lyme? Will the body ultimately adapt and correct? Also, I notice I still have rather limited endurance.

 

[Equestrienne]

Disregard "Lyme". Autocorrect is rather annoying "ltkr" is what I meant

 

[NightQuilter]

Hi Jana!
I like the New Balance shoes - especially those with good heel support. I too need arch orthotics since I have none as part of my original equipment. With new shoes I think some of the pain on top may come from the laces across the top being too snug. While it is tough to keep them looser there and then snug enough around the ankle, it may help relieve that pressure. Maybe try starting the laces a couple holes up.... Has this issue eased up as you have been walking more in them?

As for the calf issue, I know whereof you speak! What my PT has said is because of the connections between the calf and the hamstrings and the need to get the hamstrings stretched out and fully firing after their post-op atrophy, the calf has the laboring oar when the hammies are not fully stretched. In my case, the glutes pretty much shut down after my hips were replaced too. There are some stretches to work on the hammies - perhaps your PT could help you with those. If you are out of PT, it might be worth investing in a couple sessions with a really good massage therapist to work on those - mine actually rests my leg on her shoulder and pushes her foot into the back of my thigh, working from the knee down to the butt. Odd sounding, but surprisingly effective and relaxing!

In terms of self-help, just work on massaging that calf muscle after a walk (and hopefully before it kicks up into too much pain) may help as well. Hope you are doing well.

 

[Equestrienne]

Hi Jana!
I like the New Balance shoes - especially those with good heel support. I too need arch orthotics since I have none as part of my original equipment. With new shoes I think some of the pain on top may come from the laces across the top being too snug. While it is tough to keep them looser there and then snug enough around the ankle, it may help relieve that pressure. Maybe try starting the laces a couple holes up.... Has this issue eased up as you have been walking more in them?

As for the calf issue, I know whereof you speak! What my PT has said is because of the connections between the calf and the hamstrings and the need to get the hamstrings stretched out and fully firing after their post-op atrophy, the calf has the laboring oar when the hammies are not fully stretched. In my case, the glutes pretty much shut down after my hips were replaced too. There are some stretches to work on the hammies - perhaps your PT could help you with those. If you are out of PT, it might be worth investing in a couple sessions with a really good massage therapist to work on those - mine actually rests my leg on her shoulder and pushes her foot into the back of my thigh, working from the knee down to the butt. Odd sounding, but surprisingly effective and relaxing!

In terms of self-help, just work on massaging that calf muscle after a walk (and hopefully before it kicks up into too much pain) may help as well. Hope you are doing well.

Do you go to a special place for tha type of massage? We go to Massage Envy which is a chain and they just offer general massage I wd be interested in learning how to find a massage specialist. Thanks for sharing!!

 

[ElanorG]

Unfortunately there is no magic rule for finding a good massage therapist. I don't know where you live but you will probably have better luck if your a near a bigish city. You want someone who does deep tissue work and has a good knowledge of anatomy. But it is really a matter of trial an error. I have found that men and younger women are generally better as they have more strength. The older womer may know the body, but often don't have the strength to do the deep work. You might ask your PT if they can give you a referral.

 

[Titianlady]

Constipation question--stool softeners just dont work for me, regardless if I take extras or not. I drink plenty of water. Any brand recommendations for laxatives or homeopathics which do the trick? Thanks in advance

If you are currently bound up, try this cocktail given to me by my health nurse.

4- 6 ounces of prune juice ( more if you like prune juice)
1 dose Milk of Magnesia
2 ounces of 7-up

Now, she gave this all mixed together in a glass, but if you can't do it that way, just take the milk of magnesia, drink down the prune juice, and follow it up with the 7-up

Wow, did it work for me.

Maintain with Miralax. Miralax is wonderful to keep you from getting bound up. Just take it every day while you are on narcotic pain meds.
My Dr recommended Miralax because it can be taken long term with no problem.

 

[ElanorG]

I sometimes had issues with the Miralax doing too good of a job, if you get my drift. After the surgery and when I got my appetite back I put ground flax in my cereals and drank A LOT of water and that did the trick. Drinking a lot of water seems to be a key for me whether I eat the flax or not.

 

[Titianlady]

I sometimes had issues with the Miralax doing too good of a job, if you get my drift. After the surgery and when I got my appetite back I put ground flax in my cereals and drank A LOT of water and that did the trick. Drinking a lot of water seems to be a key for me whether I eat the flax or not.

LOL Elanor, yes Miralax certainly does its job!! I had to take it when I was taking narcotic pain meds every 5 hours every day. Once a person is fairly regular again taking it every day can be too much. But, oh what a Godsend it was for me. If someone is having daily constipation issues, it is the way to go though.

 

[NightQuilter]

Hi Jana - I see there is a Massage Envy chain here in LA, thus I am assuming you are too! Someone trained in shiatsu may be the best for you. If you are interested, PM me and I will give you the contact info for Reeca, the highly trained woman I use - she has a studio on the west side or will come to you for a little more (depending on where you are). Funny and funky and oh, so very intuitive. There is also the Tao Healing Arts Center in Santa Monica.

On the constipation issue - had the same issues. Any of the "P" juices - any beginning with a P - pear, prune, peach.... Fresh granola for the fiber, Colace to soften, and women's Ducolax for 2 days and you will be a new woman. Plus lots of water, of course.

 

[tashia]

Welcome to the other side. It feel so good to be home. Now you can work on recovery. Take it slow. Do now rush. Remember Ice, Rest, Elevate and Pain control at all times. If it hurts doing it, don't do it again. Take care. Tashia

 

[Equestrienne]

I am very happy to report that my staples were taken out this morning. Except for 3 or 4 stubborn ones, there was barely any discomfort. It feels pretty smooth and nice

Have any of you used any vitamin E oil on the scar area? We did that years ago on my daughter's scar, and it left the area smooth and the scar was not noticeable when it healed up. Either way, I don't think it matters, my "mini skirt" days are long gone LOL. Quick question about shoes with a small heel. How long was it before any of you ladies attempted this type of shoe (or did you at all?) I meant to ask the doctor today, but forgot.

 

[bottomshollow]

I currently wear heels like this for dress. I think it was about 6 months post op for me. All you really have to do is put a pair own and walk around in them at home and see how they feel. You should be able to tell fairly rapidly if your knees will tolerate them at this point. But I would only wear them to places and events where a lot of standing is NOT required. Kind of have to build back up to long term wear.